The Inescapable Us
by Whittershins
Summary: Marco and Star figure dealing with their own undisclosed feelings is bad enough, but with magic disappearing from all dimensions, things have gotten a lot more complicated.
1. Chapter 1

**The Words "Best Friends" Become Redefined**

 **(Goodbye Friendship, Hello Heartache)**

Marco can't help but watch as his best friend tucks her hair behind an ear and bites her lip in concentration as she waves her wand. He doesn't mean to but his eyes have a will of their own and they always seem to seek her out.

Star's clothes line themselves up and begin parading into her over stuffed bag. How long did she say this trip was going to be, again? That's an awful lot of clothes. Panic grips his chest and he shifts uncomfortably on the end of his chair. He's on edge in more ways than one. Marco is completely tongue-tied and full of regret and not a small amount of frustration. Star is humming happily to herself and entirely oblivious. A small voice in the back of his mind tells him that he could just ask but lately he's just been too wary about requesting things of her. Especially information. He feels as if this is a privilege that's been revoked. And can he blame her for taking it away? There has been a gap between the two of them for almost half a year now, and it's all his fault. It is slowly killing him inside, but what else can he do? He needed to pull back, because he was afraid of getting too close. He wants too much and the only answer was to put distance between the two of them. He just doesn't trust himself.

As the princess continues to bustle about, he thinks back on the last several months. At first, Star's reaction was to push back for a little while, not with words but small looks and gestures. A soft sigh here, a grimace from the other side of the couch there. But they never directly spoke about it and soon his friend seemed to accept the way things were. He was sad, but figured he'd be able to survive like this. It hurt a whole lot, but if they were still friends, Marco could endure. Then Star starting adding her own distance and Marco began losing ground. But what could he say? She was only doing the same thing he started...he had no right to complain. So he kept his mouth shut and began to fall apart.

Marco is startled out of his reverie by the sound of his friend's exasperation. He looks up. Star's clothes have all tucked themselves away and now she's sitting on the suitcase while trying to magic the zipper closed. A small smile makes his way across his face as he watches her struggle. After a few moments of her grunting and grumbling in frustration, Marco gives in to the call to be near her and moves across the room to help.

"Here, let me get it." He moves the hand with her wand away gently, trying to ignore the shock that runs up his arm. He cannot lose his cool. Star immediately stops struggling and he thinks he hears a sharp intake of breath, but he immediately denies its existence. She's probably just startled that he's invading her space like this.

Two urges make themselves known to him and he fights to ignore both. He wants to kiss her. They are so close. He doesn't think there's been less than five feet between them the last few months and her proximity is wreaking havoc on his heart. The second urge is insisting that he bolts in order to make a safe retreat. It's too much, but he grits his teeth and forces himself to stay put. Together the two of them manage to wrangle the bag into submission. It ends with them side by side, sprawled across the suitcase. Marco grabs the zipper and slowly pulls it to the right, reaching across Star's outstretched arms to close it all the way. He pauses for a few seconds, unable to break the contact between them. They haven't been this close in forever and he's hungry for it. He's immediately ashamed and moves to extricate himself, but Star stops him in his tracks with a hand on his shoulder.

She tries to catch his eye.

"Thanks, Marco." Star's voice is soft and breakable. He's never heard her sound so vulnerable before. The young man allows his eyes to go where they want most, meeting her gaze in order to return her smile.

"You're welcome." She releases him slowly and he makes his retreat. It's difficult.

He's not entirely sure when these feelings began – a part of him thinks that they took root from the very first day when she flung her arms around him. Or maybe it was when he saw her punch a monster in the face. Aside from the first few hiccups, the two of them have been close from the very beginning and best friends shortly after. He'd become close with a lot of his family's exchange students over the years, but Star was different from the start. It wasn't that she was a magical princess from another dimension, either. Although that was part of it, because it was a big part of her. The two of them just clicked, their personalities allowing for a mutually beneficial relationship. His influence led her to become less impulsive and reckless, she was now willing to think her actions through before moving forward. She became more compassionate and thoughtful. And under her tutelage, Marco was able to learn how to relax and not worry so much. Kids at school still referred to him as the Safe Kid, but with her he was "Wild Man." With Star, Marco felt that he was able to be the best version of himself. The two of them grew together and he figured that something this good would last forever.

And then one day he was watching Ludo crawling back through his portal, cursing loudly at the bird and spider following close behind. It had been a close fight and more than once he'd thought they were going to lose. He was still breathing heavily, his heart pounding in his chest. Then he felt Star reach out, her arm curling around his side to reel him in. She pulled him into a great big hug, nestling her face between his neck and shoulder.

"We did it! Whew, that was close. Go us!" He was about to reply with the same sentiments, but found himself suddenly aware of her breath on his ear. And how he could feel her heart thudding just as hard as his. Without thinking about it, he pulled her more tightly into his embrace. He found himself suddenly off balance, viewing the world in a way he never had before. It felt as though a very heavy weight had fallen on his shoulders. He had come so close to losing her. He held her at arm's length for a moment, taking note of every scrape and bruise. Why hadn't he been able to prevent them? And why were they such a big deal? They rarely made it out of a monster battle without a few cuts or bruises as souvenirs. In fact, the two of them used to brag about their battle scars: who got the biggest ones, it was a source of pride. So what was different now? Something had shifted.

Marco broke their embrace and took a step back, desperate for physical and mental distance in order to reassess the situation. It was Marco's nature to be deliberate and steadfast, he did not rush in to things. He liked to have all the information he needed laid out and organized, easily accessible in his mind. And right now some pretty heavy facts were settling themselves in for the long haul. They weren't entirely unfamiliar to him – but they definitely offered a new implication he'd never considered before. He knew that Star was the greatest friend he'd ever had: exchange students had come and gone and slowly but surely, he'd lost touch with every one of them. But with Star, he knew he had something lasting. He would be lost without her. If anything happened to his companion, he'd be lost. Because they were best friends. They were family, so wasn't that typical?

Star let him keep her at arm's length for a moment or two, her grin slowly turning into something uncertain. "You okay there, Wild Man?" Her eyes questioned him, bright with an emotion he couldn't name. And were her hearts a little darker than normal? She definitely had more colour in her cheeks, a light dust of pink he found endearing. Without seeming to realize it, Marco felt himself lean closer, closing the gap he'd created. His hands were still on her shoulders and she lifted them away, swinging their arms between them. What had he been about to do?!

"C'mon. I want nachos. Super VICTORY nachos!" She started pulling him away from their impromptu battlefield and toward their home. Marco stumbled along, holding fast to her hand. He wanted to say something, anything – agree with her, promise to make the world's greatest nachos ever, anything to pull himself back from the edge of whatever _this_ was. But as he caught a glimpse of her while they ran, he knew it was impossible to feel normal ever again. She was beautiful. Just in the way she was. Marco was pretty sure he was in love and he was certain that everything was ruined. They made it to the kitchen without any further incident. Star began assembling the ingredients for his nachos and Marco set about creating a plan to fix this disaster.

If Marco thought the idea of losing Star was painful, he quickly learned that being around her wasn't much easier. His feelings complicated everything. She made it difficult to breathe. Their physical relationship had always been simple and easy: Star gave away hugs as easily as she offered her smiles. During their movie nights the two of them would crowd together on the couch, with one blanket to share. He'd never given thought about it before, brushing hands when they both reached for popcorn, falling asleep on each others shoulders when the movies ran long. All simple things that never really had any meaning before now: just happy accidents. But now every incident felt tainted by a hidden agenda. He felt as though he was making Star agree to something she wasn't entirely aware of. It wasn't right. He pulled back. For her, always her. He couldn't take advantage of the easy comfort in their relationship.

They used to come home from school and retire to her room (where it's always fun!) in order to fill each other in on the day's events. The two friends would sprawl out on Star's bed, talking and laughing easily, their arms and legs tangling as they gestured wildly, rushing to get their stories out. But after what Marco considered "Doomsday" he'd slowly exiled himself from her bed. It didn't seem right – it was supposed to their safe space, a place to relax after a harrowing adventure. But with these new feelings it seemed like dangerous, hostile territory. As he began to establish a safe distance between them, conversations were a little more difficult. They were stilted and awkward, stalling. Star looked worried at first, a little off put- but she never said anything out loud. It was a a little difficult, but he believed they'd be okay. They had survived worse, hadn't they?

And now here he is, a complete mess. He holds on to the little things their relationship used to have: a contented smile sent his way, her easy going laughter, her hand brushing his. Tiny moments of happiness he cherished in order to get through the day.

"Earth to Marco!" He looks up, resurfacing from his thoughts. Star has been trying to get his attention, although he doesn't know for how long. When she seems satisfied with his attention, she tries again. "You sure you don't want to come this time? We're having a little get together, you can meet some people!"

The idea of spending more time with her is tempting: he desperately wants to say yes. It is a chance to bridge the gap and she's the one extending the offer. But he can't. Marco pastes on an approximation of a smile, his eyes regretful. "Nah, I've got some studying to do. 'Sides, you'll be busy with your princess lessons, won't you? There won't be a whole lot of time to do anything."

He's told himself that this is the right answer, the proper thing to do but Star's demeanor suggests otherwise. She's silent for a moment, something behind her eyes hardening. It's gone in a flash, replaced by the usually good cheer. "I guess you're right. It'll be boring without you, but school's important, right?" He nods, careful to stare at the floor.

He hears her take a deep breath and it really seems as though she's struggling to make her cheer sincere. "Weeellll, I guess I'll take off then! If I get there early enough, I might be able get a hold of a couple of mom's warnicorns." She offers him a weak smile and whips her pair of dimensional scissors out of her hand bag. She cuts open a portal and tosses her bag through the opening with a wave of her wand. "I'll see you soon, I guess." Star takes an uncertain step toward him and he's instantly alive, tuned to her every move. He thinks this might be it – the unraveling of everything he's struggled to keep together. He does not want to say goodbye. But instead of coming in for a hug, Star maintains the safe distance and rests her hand on his shoulder for a second. He thinks his arm has caught fire. It's too difficult to look directly at her, so he settles for the portal instead. "You take care of yourself, Star. Stay safe." He offers everything he can with his wish, and then pulls back. Star nods once, takes a step back and then she's gone. The portal closes and he's alone. Star's room suddenly feels very empty and entirely lonely. It feels as though she's always walking away from him. It's his fault, he started it. But it hurts all the same.


	2. Chapter 2

**This Is Giving Up**

 **(So Long and Thanks For the Crutches)**

Star manages to make it ten or so yards from the portal before she loses it. It's been a long morning and keeping it together has taken all of her reserves. She waves frantically at the quickly approaching Manfred, gesturing for him to close the portal. She's intensely gratified when he doesn't ask any questions. He catches the scissors she tosses and approaches the portal from the side, sealing it with a quick swipe of the hand. The young princess lets her breath out in an explosive sigh, collapsing on the ground against her bag. She needs a minute or so to recover. Maybe thirty. Manfred offers her a professional smile, managing to hover in an unobtrusive way.

"Whenever you're ready, princess." He's no stranger to Star's process: she's always needed a few moments to gather herself before meeting with the King and Queen. It isn't that her parents are entirely difficult or impossible to deal with; but Star has to be honest. More often than not, she's used this time to come up with some sort of explanation for a disaster. She feels as though she's accidentally dropped herself into some sort of opposite dimension. Normally Star's coming here to atone for some mistake or another. She's always been eager to return to Earth and now she's desperate to escape.

She doesn't mind letting Manfred think it's nerves over seeing her parents again. Star doesn't quite feel like dodging the minefield of questions _that_ revelation would bring up. So instead she sits in silence for a few moments, steeling her resolve. Manfred remains quiet, a constant comforting presence she knows she can count on. When she's ready Star springs up, pasting her 'Regal, but Friendly' look on her face. Manfred takes her bag and the two of them walk to the castle.

"Heavy load this time around, Princess. Are you staying longer than usual?" His tone only implies polite interest. Star's only response is to grunt quietly and offer a nod. Right now, she has no intentions of ever going back.

Since leaving to live on Earth, stepping into the castle has always been weird for Star. She's always happy to be back in the place she grew up, but another part aches for a place she was beginning to call home. Maybe that perspective needs to change. A part of her has always looked to Earth as a means of escape for a different kind of life than the one she was meant to lead. She'd escape to the Earth dimension and live there, doing what ever she wanted... living with Marco, maybe alone. Who was she kidding? Definitely with Marco. She's starting to realize that now maybe she needs to see that fantasy for what it is: a dream made for avoiding and shirking responsibility. She needs to grow up and let all of this go.

The idea makes her feel slightly hysterical and Star leans against a tapestry to catch her breath. Manfred shoots her a questioning look but otherwise shows no reaction. Star's grateful and is soon capable of pushing onward to the throne room. They part in the main hall and the princess continues on alone. She allows the doorman to announce her before stepping through the threshold and into the room. Her mother and father are in their thrones and the place is full of the usual crowd: royal dignitaries and palace servants. She's a bit surprised to see that the castle's security has a greater presence than usual. The amount of guards has doubled. What's that about?

Star's a little disappointed but knows better than to think she'd get a private audience with the King and Queen at this time. They all have a part to play.

She approaches her parents and offers the customary curtsy, greeting them with as much cheer as she can manage. Her father seems fooled, but Star's pretty certain Queen Moon knows something's up.

"It's good to see you, Star. I'll be honest, I didn't think you would be here again so soon. I assumed you'd stay on Earth at least until your birthday. Are your lessons here really that interesting?"

Star can tell that her mom is gently probing for information, but she's not willing to give anything up just yet. She manages to maintain a pleasantly neutral air.

"I just think it's time I start taking all this Royal biz seriously. I've put it off long enough, right? It's not like Earth school's gonna help me with my future. What Queen needs to know about long division?" She points emphatically at herself. "Not _this_ future ruler! When I'm in charge, math's gonna be a thing of the past! I'll ban it entirely!"

River _harumphs_ in agreement, offering a supportive cheer as he waves his staff. Moon merely raises one eyebrow, scrutinizing her only daughter.

Star is terrified her mother sees through her bluster. She's aware she could probably use someone to unload on, but the Queen's never been a great candidate as a confidante: she needs support and not judgment. She doesn't quite trust her mom enough to be on her side with something like this.

It's silent for an awkward moment or two, and suddenly Moon seems resolved. Her features take on a pleasant air. "Well then! That works out splendidly, darling!"

Star eyes her warily, unsure of what's coming next.

"We'll be having a small get together in the next few days. Just a simple thing we wanted to get out of the way before your birthday ball. Now you can attend, put those lessons to good use and make a good impression!"

The princess lets out a sigh of relief. It'll be boring and stuffy, two of her least favourite things but if that's the only shot Moon's going to take, she can handle it.

"Uh, of course! It'll be fun!"

Moon leans forward in her throne, regarding the princess carefully. "And I know that it'll be a bit of a bore for you, so you're more than welcome to invite Marco along!"

 _Bulls-eye._

Suddenly, it's all too much. Star's smile falters as her false bravado falls away. It warps and dips, finally crashing entirely. She takes a step back and manages a sloppy curtsy in the general direction of the dais.

"E-excuse me, I've gotta go. Big appointment, ya know."

Her eyes are suddenly very blurry, tears threatening to overflow. She doesn't wait for a response and whirls on the spot, making her escape.

Star claims sanctuary in her room, collapsing on the bed in a heap. What began as a few tears is now an absolute downpour. She sobs uncontrollably into her pillow. It's been so difficult to keep it together these past few weeks and now the dam has broken. How did everything manage to get so messed up?! She and Marco had such a great thing going! They were an unbreakable team, with complete trust in each other. She figured that what they had would last forever. Sure, it became a little dicey when she realized she was fighting monsters side by side with the guy she loved (yes, _that_ way) and not just her platonic mess-up twin, but that was just a little hiccup. She'd dealt with worse before and besides, since when was love ever a problem? In Mewni, it was one of the most powerful forms of magic they had. Star's entire life had been filled with love, what was a little more; even if it was of the romantic variety?

It was totally fine, no big deal! She could handle this. Marco and her were best friends, that wasn't going to change any time soon. She could manage keeping her feelings quiet, nothing needed to upset their balance. She was Star the Steadfast, Star the Cool...and definitely Star the Idiot. Star the Confused? Because as much as she figured she was keeping the pining to a bare minimum (at least around Marco, anyway) _something_ spooked him.

Out of nowhere, Star could count the miles between them; space that never used to exist before. She tried not to be worried. After all, maybe he was afraid of some sort of Mewnian cooties or something. Maybe it had to do with Jackie. Was their closeness hurting Marco's chance with his crush? He _did_ talk about her an awful lot. Like maybe a little too much. But the last thing Star wanted to do was ruin any chances her friend had with the girl he liked. Star figured she'd follow his lead. If he wanted space, she'd respect that.

It was a little difficult, Star had always been a physically affectionate person. She cut down on the hugs, banished herself to the opposite side of the couch during Friendship Thursday and cut out all hand holding entirely. It made her miserable and in the end, Marco just seemed to get worse! The comfortable silences between them ceased to exist, everything felt tense and wrong.

For the longest time, she and Marco were sailing happily on the S.S Awesome and now they'd crashed against the rocks of Something Really Bad. Something between them had broken and Star had no idea how to fix it. So the distance continued to grow and Star took to escaping to Mewni, using princess lessons as an excuse to get away. And here she was, giving up at last. So much for keeping her cool. Everything was ruined.

A soft knock on the door pulls Star from her thoughts. Blearily, she looks up to see her mother in the door way, a compassionate smile gracing her lips. Star's never seen the Queen like this and she's momentarily baffled. Moon doesn't wait for an invitation to enter and instead sweeps into the room, rushing her daughter's bed. She settles on the edge and wraps an arm around Star, pulling her child close. Star gives in to the need to be mothered and falls against her, letting her mom's shoulder replace her pillow.

"Oh, mom! How did it get so bad?!" She hiccups and gasps for air. "I must have done _something_ b-but I don't know what!" Moon holds her tightly and lets her cry. Star hasn't told her mom anything about the last few months, but the princess knows Moon has her suspicions. After all, she and Marco used to be inseparable. She'd fight tooth and nail to put off Princess lessons, claiming they were just a tool to crush her spirit. So of course attending them faithfully with a new zeal would cause a raised eyebrow or two.

She knows her mother is going to want to hear the whole story, but Star is hesitant to spill. Moon is in charge of an entire kingdom: she has responsibilities and obligations far beyond anything Star's had to deal with. In what world would her typical Boy Problems ever be comparable to all that? She desperately wants to shrug it all off, pretend it's nothing, but the Queen of Mewni is persistent.

"I know it's difficult Star, but you'll have to start from the beginning. How did what get so bad? Did something happen between you and Marco?"

Star's still reluctant, but her resistance is crumbling. This is her mother. A woman whose shoulders bear the weight of a whole empire. Her decisions can mean the difference between life and death for her people. And she makes them every day. But she's also the woman who comforted her when she accidentally hurt the son of a Royal Guard while practicing her monster fighting moves a little too enthusiastically. She'd been afraid of losing a friend and Moon had helped her hold things together then. There was also the time she and Ponyhead were fighting over some dumb opinion and Moon had been the voice of reason. Her mother was stern and a little demanding, but in the end there was never a problem too small or petty for Star to go to her for. Somehow over the years she'd lost sight of that. But here she was again, ever patient and always willing.

Star hiccups and takes a deep breath and then the whole debacle is just spilling from her.

"See it's like this. Marco and I were really awesome and we did everything together. There was a boat or something and we were all happy and sailing together on it and then it crashed or something and I ruined it. Because I didn't want to sink a good thing and then there's Jackie and he's like. Been crazy about her forever and there's the nodding thing. So how can I come between that? I can't. So I figured I could just keep it a secret and not say anything, but I guess my not saying anything said _something_ AND NOW IT'S ALL OVER."

She's overcome with tears again and the babbling words become even more unintelligible. Star's never been the most eloquent with her speech and she's frustrated that she can't seem to voice just how much this whole thing ihurts/i her heart in a way that feels very terminal. It isn't an issue about something that'll impact thousands of royal subjects, but it's everything to her.

And somehow, miraculously Moon understands. She pulls Star in for another hug and best of all: _she takes her seriously._

"It is so easy for me to forget how old you've gotten. I keep thinking of you as a young little toddler, running around with the guard's children and sneaking into the Warnicorn's stables. But here you are, almost an adult and facing _very_ grown up things. I'm sorry you've been dealing with it alone for so long."

Star manages a halfhearted smile. "I did ask Glossaryk about it. Once. He just went on about nature, life and a speeding garbage truck. I had no idea what he meant." Her voice becomes very soft. "I have no idea about so many things. I was trying to go on like everything was normal and okay...but I ended up driving him away anyway. I wanted to keep what we had, but everything started to really hurt and I couldn't deal with it any more. I don't know what to do!"

The last bit is uttered with such defeat, and Star is lost to the tears again. "I c-can't do it. I just can't go back right now and deal with the silence." She has no way of describing just how _heavy_ it feels between them. How their once sacred Friendship Thursdays have become something like a curse. How things were so natural and easy between them – but suddenly it feels as if unspoken permissions have been revoked. She doesn't have her Mess-Up Twin anymore, she just has a whole bunch of confusion. How do you sort through something like that? How does she deal with the fact that she wants to take hold of his hand and never let go? That she finds herself watching him as he prepares his special nachos and is incapable of looking away?

Star knows she has magic in her, but she needs to Dip Down to reach it. Marco's magic is all there and on the surface: it's in the way he moves, the things he does. It was in the way he used to smile at her. She thinks of how surprised she'd been when he helped her with the bag. Marco had been so close; his hand lingering on hers. It was as though he was calling a ceasefire on whatever war was going on between them. For just a second it felt as though their connection came back to life and Star felt whole again. She felt herself being pulled in towards him and the edge of something Really Big. And then he had backed away, ending the moment. She's certain that was her breaking point. Her heart can only take so much.

"Star, you don't need to go back right now. We can use your princess lessons as an excuse." Star slumps in relief, a little tension leaving her body. But her mother continues on: "However, this isn't something that will just go away. You need to speak with him. Things like this have a way of digging in deep and festering if you leave them too long. Trust me. I know that more than anything." Moon's tone changes in a peculiar way, grabbing Star's attention. She raises her head to catch her mother's eye, but the Queen continues on and the moment is gone.

"Right now you need your rest. You look exhausted and it worries me. Sleep. I'll have Manfred collect the rest of your essentials and I'll speak with Mr. and Mrs. Diaz. They will have to know about the change of plans." She rubs Star's shoulders reassuringly. "With a couple of days rest you'll be feeling better and more like yourself. Then you'll be able to talk to Marco and sort all of this out. You two possess a very special friendship, it is something to treasure. I don't believe it's something you want to give up on so quickly. Don't worry Star, everything will be okay."

Star nods sleepily, giving in to her mother's wisdom. She's not entirely confident about her mother's predicted outcome, but she's still assured. Moon hasn't magically fixed everything with her Queenly power, but at least Star knows she's got someone in her corner.

The days pass and Star does feel a lot better. She throws herself into her lessons and preparations for the castle's two upcoming events: the Royal Dignitary ball and her own birthday bash. She catches up with old acquaintances and practices spells with Glossaryk. She gets a great deal of rest and feels almost completely recharged. She does all the things Queen Butterfly asks of her, every single task but one. The days turn into weeks and Star feels the weight in her chest lighten: she doesn't talk to Marco at all and begins to think about trying to let go.


	3. Chapter 3

Certain Words in Uncertain Times

(Heart VS Mind)

When three days pass without any word from Star, Marco does not panic. He rationalizes: magic lessons are probably time consuming. She's also a princess returning to her kingdom and that has to involve a lot of engagements and meetings, right? These feeble explanations serve to keep his anxiety at bay for the time being, but when another day drags by without bringing any communication from his friend, a horrible feeling takes residence in his gut. Marco begins to consider the fact that maybe she's not coming back. Sure enough, several hours later his fears are confirmed through a call on the mirror that evening: it's Queen Butterfly, and she wishes to speak with either one of his parents. He finds his own mom, miraculously home for once and sends her upstairs. It takes everything in the teenager to keep himself glued to his chair in the kitchen. He's not above listening at the door to catch whatever information he can, but he knows his mom'll bust him instantly. So he stays put and suffers through the longest twenty minutes of his life by going over worst case scenarios. Star's probably told her mother that she hates him now and that she's never coming back. Or her parents have decided that it's time for her to ascend the throne. Queen Butterfly looked to be in good health when he saw her just now, but you never know.

There are so many possibilities and he contemplates them all, stopping only when he hears his mom say his name. He has a feeling that it isn't the first time she's called it. He shakes his head and looks to Angie, dreading the news. Her voice sounds cheerful and a little too sympathetic. He sighs and lets his head fall back on the table. "She's not coming back, is she?"

Angie shakes her head, her smile kind. "Not for a little while, no. Glossaryk wants to escalate Star's lessons right now and it wouldn't make sense for her to be constantly traveling back and forth."

Marco doesn't comment on the fact that Star has inter-dimensional scissors which negate any travel woes involved. Acknowledging that means there's definitely another reason she's staying away. Maybe it really is about logistics. He can't tell if his mother is hiding any more information and he gives up scrutinizing her after a few moments. Instead he accepts her explanation with a mute nod of his head and turns away. Angie seems to realize that her son doesn't want to talk, but she squeezes his shoulder on her way out of the kitchen.

Later on that night, a very professional and highly uncommunicative Manfred shows up to collect a few of Star's things. Marco gives him free reign of Star's room and their shared bathroom, hiding away in his own. He only ventures out once he's sure the Butterfly's servant is gone. As he steps into what was once their safe space, Marco's heart drops and his jaw follows along with it. If this is just temporary, then he's not entirely sure what moving out would entail. Star's room is almost stripped bare, only the smallest amount of remnants and the room itself are proof she was ever here. He circles the room slowly, shaking his head in denial. A peek into the bathroom offers the same results. His magic Dust Buster floats morosely by, knocking into his head a few times before he pushes it away angrily.

Marco feels that there is no one to blame but himself. He should have seen it coming, it should not be such a surprise. He hadn't meant to, but _something_ he did must have chased Star off. Was it when he broke his no-contact rule a few days ago? Could something like that have set things off? He's lost, over analyzing and feels shaky on his feet. Marco leaves the bathroom and heads straight for his bed, taking refuge under the covers. The laser puppies find him shortly after and he's so grateful they're still around. He lets them settle themselves around his curled body and feels as though he's sapping comfort directly from their sleeping forms.

He's still there several hours later when the sun has dipped low in the sky. At some point his father calls out that dinner is ready, but he ignores the summons and turns away from the door.

–

The next few weeks pass in a weird sort of blur. Time doesn't go by quickly, but Marco finds it difficult to focus on any one moment. He falls into a specific pattern that keeps him busy and distracted. For the rest of the summer, Marco spends his time training at the Dojo or tucked away in his bedroom. He finds solace in walks with the puppies, wandering for several hours at a time. They feel like his only physical link to Star. His friends learn quickly that he has no interest in company on the best of days. That doesn't mean they stop dropping by to try to talk or entice him into a social activity that doesn't involve his four-legged companions. He knows they mean well and that they care that he's doing okay. It's difficult to admit, but he also knows that every one misses Star as well. He isn't the only one she's walked away from. Marco doubts it's anything close to what he's feeling, but he knows they get it. He just can't bring himself to play along.

Autumn creeps closer and school begins. Marco's melancholy feels like a permanent scar and he's well aware that Star's birthday is just around the corner. Is he still invited? He hasn't received any information saying otherwise... but he hasn't had any communication from her at all. She'll be eighteen soon and he cannot imagine missing this milestone in her life. The giant Birthday ball in Mewni was only supposed to be the beginning of their celebrations! She'd been so excited and he'd been wracking his brains to find the perfect gift. He still hasn't managed that, and resolutely refuses to believe it's no longer an issue. As bleak as things are right now, he will _not_ let her special day pass by without something from him. Even if he has to tear a hole through their dimensions himself. Marco still has a little time to figure something out.

As the teenager settles in to the new school year, Marco welcomes the new distraction studying brings. Burying himself in his schoolwork is something that comes naturally to the Safe Kid. He just wishes he doesn't have to stare at Star's empty desk every day. He's certain that things cannot get worse. Then one morning something changes. He's in his second class taking notes when it feels as though a light has been switched on in him. Out of nowhere the ache in his chest doubles. For several moments Marco drowns in these new feelings, struggling to maintain control. He cannot hold on to a single breath. Marco puts his head down on the desk, curling in on himself. Several moments pass and he cannot gain any ground. He feels as though he's going to pass out. Just as the blackness comes creeping in, a firm hand on his shoulder anchors him to reality. Pulling a ragged breath, Marco looks up to see Jackie. She and the others look so worried for him. The need for fresh air becomes paramount and Marco bolts, ignoring the surprised shout from the teacher. He's so focused on escape and the hole in his chest that he doesn't notice the second step of footsteps that follow in his wake.

Marco bursts through the front doors and stumbles into the weak autumn sunlight. He flies down the school steps and doesn't stop running until he narrowly misses a head on collision with a tree. Gasping for breath, Marco leans against the cool trunk, one arm clutching his chest. What the _hell_ is going on?! It isn't something he's ever experienced before, but Marco instinctively knows this issue isn't health related. It's something else. Something Other. But how is he supposed to confirm it? The person he usually goes to when it comes to this sort of stuff is a million miles away.

"Marco! Are you okay?!" He looks up, startled to see Jackie approaching. "You looked totally freaked out back there, what's going on?"

"I really have no idea. Just felt really weird out of nowhere. It's fine though, Jackie. You don't have to miss class for me. I might just go home, though." He feels a desperate need to appear as normal as possible.

Jackie looks thoughtful for a moment and he thinks he has her fooled. If he can just get home, maybe he'll be able to get control over things. His friend has other ideas, though. "How about we take an early lunch? You look a little pale. I think some food'll help." Marco desperately wants to turn down her offer, but can't bring himself to voice his refusal. His friends have been reaching out to him for so long and he knows that saying no now will only make things worse. So he merely nods and pushes off from the tree. He has to work hard to keep his hands at his sides after straightening his hoodie, instead of grasping at his chest. Jackie offers him a smile of approval and the two of them head off campus.

–

They end up at a small sandwich shop and take a table on the patio. Marco isn't a huge fan of the food, but has no qualms with Jackie's choice. He's just relieved she didn't opt for somewhere like Britta's Tacos, or somewhere else he considers his and Star's. He's not sure how he could get out of something like that without seeming completely crazy. As kind as they've been all this time, they're already questioning his sanity as it is. For what it's worth though, Jackie doesn't seem to be looking at him like he's lost his marbles. All he can see is sympathy and understanding.

He cannot bring himself to speak first and it doesn't seem as though Jackie's ready to start talking, either. Instead the two of them sit in silence with their drinks while Marco reflects on how different this situation would have felt a few years ago. Fourteen year-old Marco would have been a complete mess just from _thinking_ about lunch alone with Jackie. It would have been a disaster. But now he's here and tongue-tied over a different girl and Jackie sits across from him as a friend. Someone he knows he can trust for advice if he can just find the words to ask for it. Marco groans and lets his head fall to the table. The pain in his chest has subsided to a dull ache, he rubs at it absentmindedly while he struggles to find something to say. Jackie seems to take pity on him, and finally speaks.

"We've known each other for a long time, ever since we were little kids. Your family's always hosted exchange students. There have been a lot, right?"

Marco nods, thinking of the wall of pictures in his home. Taking a picture for that display was always a big event the Diazes treated like a great honour. He realizes with a jolt that there won't be one for Star. Jackie is not helping, and she seems to realize this, rushing to finish her speech.

"None of them have stayed longer than a year or two, and you've always said goodbye to them. I noticed that you always seemed sad after each one, but then things would get better. You'd get better. But with Star..." She pauses and he thinks she's struggling to find the right words. Are there any right words? Can he trusts Jackie to retrieve them?

"Star was different from the start. I could tell from the first day she came here. And not because of the whole magical princess business. You just seemed...more alive. I know that sounds so bad," She waves her hands apologetically, afraid of offending him.

"You were just this quiet kid who paid attention at school...wore a helmet in the shower, you know. That stuff. Which isn't a _bad_ thing, I swear! But after Star, you kind of came out of your shell. You spoke to everyone, not just Ferguson and Alfonso. You just...I dunno, man. You came alive. And Star was part of that."

The table is cool on his forehead and Marco feels as though maybe he could stay here forever because the effort it would take to stand right now is impossible. He turns his head at an awkward angle to look at Jackie, letting her know that he's still listening. He's still here. And no, she hasn't offended him. She's told the complete truth. He knows this. It's part of the reason he loves Star. She's helped him grow. And now her absence is making him shrink.

"You two have something special and it won't go away so easily. You just gotta have faith, Marco. Things'll work out. You'll see her again. Just be patient."

Marco appreciates the thought, but the idea of sitting back and waiting is agonizing. He's been doing that for the past couple of months. How long is it going to take? Since the very beginning, Marco has always been willing to follow Star's lead. They had a deal to stick together, that she'd never leave him behind. So what happened? Was it his uncertainty? He thinks he's played it a little too safe for the final time and maybe it's cost him everything. Jackie's telling him to have faith in his friend: and that's just the problem. He's always had faith in Star. His belief in her is solid, she's been his foundation for so long. Marco just doesn't have faith in himself, he cannot trust that he's enough for her. And he's realizing more and more that regardless of whether she felt more for him, he should have said something when he had the chance. Hiding it and pushing her away was a mistake. He knows that now. He's gone over it in his head a million times and he can't come to any other conclusion. Marco is so tired of the cost being the Safe Kid accrues. He is no longer willing to pay it.

Marco's sudden resolution must be obvious, because Jackie grins and offers a cheer for her classmate. "That's it, man! No more worrying. Star's party'll be in no time and then the two of you can figure everything out!"

It isn't a plan he can instantly put into action, but it's something to hold on to. Marco grasps on to the idea, no longer in the present. He's focused entirely on a couple of weeks from now, already pushing through the crowds of guests in order to catch Star's eye. He'll find a way to take her aside and make everything right again.

–

For the first time in his life, Marco skips the rest of his classes. He feels oddly liberated and it's easy to shrug off any guilt that may have plagued him any other day. Talking to Jackie has lifted a bit of the weight he felt and the pain in his chest is almost entirely gone. He's still confused and wary, but at least he has a problem to focus on. Star's gift. It shouldn't be so difficult, but something tells him that this is important. It's a weird feeling he cannot shake, but he's willing to go along with it. He's so tired of fighting. The teenager spends a few hours in the park just ruminating before he sets out.

It feels a little odd to be walking around without the laser puppies, but this is a mission he needs to complete on his own. It really shouldn't be hard. Star's always been easy to get gifts for, her boundless good spirit allowing her to be grateful for the smallest things. In the past, Marco's always tried to find her something thoughtful, a gift that reflects their friendship. He's a huge fan of referencing inside jokes – and there are a lot of those to pick from. Problem is, things are different now. He wants the gift to be a different kind of gesture. Yeah, he's offering the friendship they've always had. Or at least a return to it. And if she accepts that, it'll be amazing. He'll take it without hesitation. As bad as things have been lately, there's nothing he treasures more. It's why he worked so hard to protect it. But he wants to offer more. There have been times where he's suspected that maybe there was something other than friendship on her mind. After monster battles she'd hug him, brush her hand against his arm as though she was reaffirming that he was here. He was alive. And with every touch he'd light up inside, a firework waiting to explode. She did that to him, sometimes with only a glance paired with a soft smile. He lived for those. And Marco hasn't seen anything like that in over half a year. He's hungry for it. But most of all he just misses his best friend: his partner in crime. A part of him secretly felt that the two of them were born to be a team together. By himself, Marco was Marco. Like Jackie said, he was the Safe Kid who wore a helmet in the shower. Only one time, but still. He was okay on his own, but paired with his Mess-up Twin, they were unstoppable.

It's been several hours and Marco has yet to enter any store. He's wandering aimlessly, stuck in his head and not paying attention to his surroundings. His safeness is ingrained though, and he manages to stay on the sidewalk and out of the streets. No matter how long he wanders, none of the stores look promising. He isn't sure why they don't feel right: it's no Quest Buy but Echo Creek's downtown area has a lot of places to shop, including Star's favourite Better Store. But no matter how many signs his eyes fall on, they don't linger and he continues on. He's about to give up and head home when something bright blinds him. He hisses in annoyance, bringing his hands up to shield his eyes. Frustrated, Marco pivots on the spot and tries to locate the cause. He's momentarily confused because the sun isn't high enough in the sky to reflect off anything: it's low on the horizon, hiding behind buildings. It isn't dark enough for the street lights to come on, either. Marco's about to shrug it off and call it quits, but then he sees it. Right in the window of the store a ways ahead of his path. Star's gift. He knows it without a doubt. In fact, he's a little unnerved at just how perfect the thing is. The teenager glances uncertainly in the direction of the setting sun, but allows himself to be compelled forward anyway, entering the store with newfound purpose.

He returns home shortly after, his purchase tucked carefully in his hoodie pocket. Marco manages to get past his parents without too much trouble – they seem pretty engrossed in each other and only question him briefly. Did the school not call about his freak out? He won't question his luck and steals away upstairs to find a safe place for Star's gift. Marco's not entirely sure how he'll get it to her. Jackie seemed pretty certain that he was still invited to the Princess's party, but his earlier optimism has taken a hit. The postal service doesn't exactly deliver to Mewni...or any other dimension for that matter. He no longer has any access to a razor crane, either. Jackie told him to have faith, but it's difficult to summon when he's standing in the hallway alone on a Thursday. Normally he and Star would be settling in on the couch, their favourite telenovela paused and ready to watch right about now. Instead he's walking past her empty bedroom and heading straight for his own.

He's just made it to his doorway when something miraculous happens. A loud ringing rips through the silence and he knows immediately what it is. Star's mirror. He makes it to Star's room in record time, almost tripping over himself in the process. Marco's never been so nervous to answer a call. Does he even want to? He desperately wants to hear her voice, see her face again. But what if it's more bad news? Marco's not entirely sure how much worse this whole thing can get, but he's become quite the pessimist as of late. And for _some_ reason, his chest starts hurting again. Then the feeling changes: it becomes an amplified version of his own nervousness. _What is going on?!_ It's wreaking havoc with his heart. Maybe he needs to walk away from this. If he doesn't answer, nothing can get worse. It's the safe option. He wills himself to just turn around and make a hasty exist. Instead, Marco's trembling hand reaches out as if possessed and presses a button to accept the call.

There's a split second pause, and then there she is. Princess Star Butterfly. Marco stares, absolutely transfixed. She looks different. Her hair isn't down and free, it's perfectly styled and up, a tiara nestling in her blonde locks. She stands with perfect posture, her shoulders square and sure. And she doesn't move at all. He's so used to her endless energy, the way _some_ part of her was always in constant motion that this image before him feels completely foreign. He cannot reconcile the fact that this is his best friend. And then Star smiles a small smile and nervously chews on her wand and the spell is broken. Marco lets out a shaky sigh and manages to avoid collapsing to his knees. He wants to reach out to her, pass through the mirror and pull her into the world's longest hug. Maybe more. Their distance has never felt so far. He can't do any of the things he wants, so he stays silent. Star doesn't.

"Hey Marco..."

–

In a dimension far away, a portal tears through the sky. A massive figure steps through, his cloak billowing in the wind. As the stranger's boots crunch against dirt, the panicked squawks of a razor crane cut off and its corpse is flung to the ground. The monster broke its neck even before he was fully through the portal. He's certain the bird has outlived its usefulness because there is no doubt he's in the right place. There's no need to bother with extra baggage. He moves solidly across the ground, dust kicking up in his wake. The figure pauses to regard the sky, eyes squinting against the fierce wind. The sky is a sickening puce, black clouds billowing on the horizon. Lightning flashes in the distance, illuminating his way. He moves forward with purpose, his destination certain.

The landscape is rough and barren, wind constant and dry. Nothing lives here. _This is where people go to be forgotten._ He thinks, a wicked smile curling his lips. _It's also where things are put to be hidden._ As the wind blows and clears the dust, the creature's goal becomes clear: just a little ways ahead, in an outcropping of rocks lays a cave. He makes his way there quickly, ducking low to clear the entrance. Inside it's dark and cold. He has to move more carefully now, picking his way over rocks and dodging the ever changing ceiling. As the creature's progress slows, his frustration becomes palpable, almost forming a second entity. He snarls in anger, clawing at the rocks and throwing their debris aside.

It takes a while, but finally he makes it. The narrow tunnel dips low and suddenly opens into a wide cavern. He steps through with relief, glad to be capable of stretching to his full height. Immediately, his attention is possessed by a platform in the center of the chamber. He crosses over to it in a few strides, climbing the steps with a desperate eagerness. And then there they are. His most prized possession. What he's spent ages searching for. He stands silently for a moment, taking in the sight before him. He's almost afraid to reach out in order to claim his prize.

They're ancient and they've been hidden in this godforsaken cave for many years, but the scissors before him don't look a day older than when he lost them. When they were _taken_ from him. He's been in such a hurry since he discovered where they were, but now all he wants is to admire them. The key to his plan. The key to everything.

The scissors have been stabbed into the rock, their jagged handles parted and pointing to the ceiling. They're almost invisible in the limited light, but even if he wasn't able to see in the dark, he'd be able to see the name engraved on the blades: Sutcliffe.

"It all comes down to hubris, doesn't it?" A wicked grin splits the monster's face and Sutcliffe finally reaches out, grasping the treasure in his claws. A small chuckle slips through his teeth, and it isn't long before his maniacal laughter echoes off the cavern walls.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hold Your Head High, Heavy Heart**

 **(Calm Before the Storm)**

* * *

Star wakes up with a strangled cry, shooting straight up and grasping desperately for her wand. The second her fingers wrap around its base she feels a little of the panic drain away, but the adrenaline and fear remain. Just holding it gives Star a little bit of courage, but it isn't enough to combat the deep feeling of dread that has settled in her chest. She's never been one for nightmares. Sure, she's had worries that keep her up late into the night, fretting and pacing. But once she's able to give in to fatigue, her sleep is deep and dreamless.

She lays there for several minutes, holding the wand tight to her chest. She's used to being able to blast away her problems. But what good is her wand when there's no physical target to hit? These fears and horrors only visit her in her head. As far as Star knows, there's no magic to fix that. She could ask Glossaryk, she knows...but a part of her feels the need to handle this on her own. So she focuses on breathing. She's still gasping for breath and it's beginning to border on hysterics. Instinctively, Star's gaze focuses on the ceiling, frantically trying to find shapes and messages she knows aren't there. Not in this room. Not from this bed. But the actions manage to calm her anyway, routine being a kind of magic of its own. She's able to breathe a little easier, deeply and without the hitching gasps. Her eyes rove over the bricked ceiling, searching in vain for any sort of shape or sign that she'll be okay. She gives up after a moment and closes her eyes, clutching her wand close as she tries to loosen the tightness in her chest.

It's almost dawn and the world is slowly waking up. Sunbeams begin creeping slowly into her room, lighting her many windows on fire. There's no chance she's gonna be able to sleep now, she knows it. And that's okay. Despite her fatigue, Star has no desire to fall back into _that_ nightmare. She can still picture the large, shadowy figures that reached from the darkness to grab her. She'd run as fast as she could in order to escape, but every time it would end the same: she'd be captured, trapped and left feeling very, very alone.

The fear bubbles up again and Star squeezes her eyes shut, picturing the Jack O'latern like grins that dotted his ceiling. She starts with the smallest one, its grin sharp and dipping. From there she traces the path in her memory, picturing the gaping smile on the second face. There are other faces, little messages that dot his ceiling, but it hurts to think of those and the meanings behind them. Instead she focuses on the biggest and most important: a goofy looking dragon thingy with the face of a bear. It was his favourite. In a way, it's hers as well. As a last attempt to calm herself, Star recalls pointing it out for the first time.

* * *

She'd been unable to sleep. Earlier, Ludo and his new sidekicks had gotten the jump on the two of them. It was a close fight and for a few moments, Star really thought it was all over. She'd been knocked to the ground and Ludo's weird wand was pointed right at her. Ludo crowed, exclaiming one last threat she didn't hear because she was two busy listening for the sounds of Marco and the animals fighting. She desperately hoped he was okay. She'd shouted to him a few times, but heard only screeches and a few grunts.

Star's focus was dragged back to Ludo, his wand was now pressed against her throat.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this, Princess! Now give me the book and I'll leave. Refuse and I'll blast you into oblivion...and _then_ I'll take it!"

Star didn't really know how to respond. She knew the _right_ answer just as easily as she had known she needed to sacrifice the wand to Toffee for Marco's sake. But in this moment, her thoughts were only on her friend. The fighting around her had stopped and the area was eerily silent. Had they gotten him?! She was frantic, desperately trying to twist her head in order to see what was going on. But the wand bit in deeper and she gasped in pain, eyes back to Ludo and his new, creepy look. She knew the only way to see Marco was to give in and once that was determined, there was no hesitation.

"Okay, Ludo you can have the b-" She was cut off suddenly as the wand was jerked away, its rock base scraping against her neck as Ludo flew sideways. Star fell backwards, knocking her head on the ground and saw...well, stars. She lay there for a few seconds, stunned. And then there he was. He shot to her side, crouching to pull her up.

"Holy shit, Star. Are you okay?! I'm sorry, they were everywhere and it was hard to keep track and-" It was _her_ turn to cut _him_ off as she pulled him close in the tightest embrace she'd ever given. She couldn't believe he was here and mostly okay. The two of them fell silent as each silently took stock of the injuries they incurred. Star mostly reveled in the fact that he was here and he was alive. She barely noticed Ludo's prone form being carried away by the spider while the bird looked on. She vaguely heard the air rip as a portal opened and then closed. Instead of looking to ensure that the danger had passed, Star stayed where she was, breathing him in. She'd been so, so scared.

It was a new and frightening feeling that took hold of her. Something Big and Important, but she didn't know what to do with it. Sure, she'd always been concerned for her friend during a battle. They were best friends, Mess-up Twins! The Princess and the Safe Kid! They couldn't be a dynamic pair if he got his butt kicked by rogue monsters. And because she loved him, she watched his back. Because she totally, totally loved him. He was her partner in crime and everything else. And if you didn't love your best friend, how were you supposed to be close enough to pull of daring capers? Or spend hours on the couch together, watching Mackie Hand movies and sharing super awesome nachos? Or send notes during class to stave off boredom? And what about kissing him when he's got that cute, thoughtful look on his face and - _wait_ , _what?_! _**Kiss him?!**_ That was NOT what she meant! Since when did she think about kissing Marco Diaz?! This was new, this was big and this _needed_ to be pushed away and buried!

Only a few moments had passed, but to Star they felt like a lifetime. Marco hadn't said a word and seemed content to just hug her, but Star had other ideas. This was nice, really. Actually, it was great but she needed space. She needed it now before she did something stupid and reckless. She squeezed him tightly for a second and then pulled away, untangling their limbs and falling back. Marco seemed dazed for a second, but reached out to catch her. She panicked a little and scrambled back, gaining her footing and shooting to her feet. Marco looked confused and still a little befuddled. She offered her arm and pulled him up, waving her arms frantically after he stood.

"DIAZ! What happened there?!" She needed to pull herself back from the brink and find solid ground. She needed them to be back in Normalville where everything was great and fine and totally, totally normal. Marco still seemed shell shocked and she waited impatiently for an answer. Shaking him could be an option, but she found herself afraid of any physical contact.

After a few moments of silence, Marco finally looked at her and she figured she'd be able to get a solid answer that would kickstart this new Normalcy reform she had going on. Instead, he blanched as he saw her properly for the first time and moved forward to grasp her hands.

"God, Star- your neck! It's bleeding!" Star blinked, and pulled a hand from his in order to investigate for herself, hissing in pain when it made contact. She looked down at herself and noted for the first time just how much her clothes were covered in blood.

"Crap, crap crap!" It was so easy to ignore the pain when she was busy thinking about Marco and THAT.

"It's fine, Marco. I bet it looks worse than it is! Ludo's wand just got me."

She spared a second to contemplate just how ruthless and dangerous Ludo became. He used to be a joke. Now Star wasn't quite sure. His desperation for the book had made him a more dangerous enemy.

A gentle tug on her hand pulled her from her thoughts and Star let Marco lead her away from the impromptu battlefield and into the house. She submitted to his ministrations, an old routine the two of them followed. After the fiasco that was Monster Arm, Star refused to use magic to heal their cuts and bruises. The two of them preferred the old fashion way. Her throat ached but she sat as still and quietly as she could, perched on their shared bathroom's counter. Marco moved slowly and carefully, gently wiping the blood away and cleaning her cut. She tried hard not to flinch or move away, even though it hurt more than she was prepared to deal with. Instead she was busy worrying over just how _intimate_ this whole business was. They were so close. Was it always like this? Did he always brush her arm so gently as he moved to place the bandage over her cut? She felt ready to explode. Things that seemed so innocent and basic were taking on a new meaning and Star was scared of what that meant. Was everything going to change? How could it? Marco was all for Jackie. She was all he talked about. How could she get in the middle of that? She couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to put Marco in that position. She needed to get a hold of herself. Quickly. And yet it was difficult to keep that distance between them when he took her hands in his and grinned happily.

"I'm glad things ended up okay, Star. But you need to take it easy." He brushed the bandage gently, ensuring it was going to stay put. Star suddenly found it very difficult to breathe, unable to respond and instead she offered a shaky, uncertain smile. It seemed to be enough, because Marco's grin widened and he pulled her off the counter.

"Let's get you to bed. It's late and you need rest. We both need it." He wasn't wrong there. So she headed to bed, even though she was far from sleepy. Her thoughts were racing and they always landed on the boy just down the hall. Feelings aside, she almost lost him. It was so close. How was she supposed to deal with that? It never seemed like an option before, and now it was all she could think about. She began pacing at 12:30 in the morning and was still fretting when the clock turned to 2:00. A little while later, a soft knock sounded on her door. Star looked up, startled and pulled from her circling thoughts. She quietly called for the person to come in, and was both scared and elated when it was Marco. She never realized how much she loved his pajamas.

"Can't sleep again?" All she managed was a nod. Marco leaned against the door frame and waited. This was usually the point Star would spill about her worries and anxieties. It often involved complaints and worries about her parents and the expectations they pressed on her. About becoming Queen someday. Talking to Marco was always cathartic. He always listened carefully and at the end, he was ready with thoughtful advice she took to heart. But what was she supposed to say now? "Hey Marco, I'm pretty sure I love you. Want to run around different dimensions and hold hands and maybe kiss a bit?" Then there was the whole matter of how desperately worried she was for his safety. Toffee was able to get him. And Ludo was so dangerous now. He definitely knew how important Marco was to her. What if he became a target again? Was she always putting him in danger by being his friend? She should find a way to end this whole "exchange student" deal and keep him safe.

Her thoughts continued to spiral and circle over and over again, ratcheting up her fear and panic. She grabbed at her hair and continued her pacing. Marco moved from the door way hesitantly and she knew he was a bit thrown off by the change of routine. She wasn't playing her part and she could tell it was worrying her friend. He stood quietly as she paced, looking a little lost. After several moments it appeared as though he'd gotten an idea, face brightening and taking on a hopeful glow. He grabbed her hand and yanked her from the room.

"C'mon, I've got an idea." She let him take the lead, but balked a little when their destination appeared to be his room. She stalled just outside the door, unsure. She'd been in there a million times, but now it seemed different. It took on an entirely new meaning and once again Star felt as though her entire world had shifted, just a little to the left. It made her lose her footing and now _everything_ had an air of uncertainty to it.  
"What are you waiting for, Star? This'll totally work. Trust me." Well. Almost everything. As crazy as everything seemed now, she still trusted Marco more than anyone in the universe. That wouldn't change.

The thought bolstered her courage and Star stepped over the threshold and into his room. She started to regret her choice immediately as he tried to drag her to his bed. She'd laid on it before, tons of times. But it was always during the day. And a bed at _night_ somehow had a completely different connotation. However, Marco seemed to have no such qualms. He pulled her forward, repeating his refrain about trust and she found herself falling against the sheets. A few seconds later, she felt him join her on the other side. Star shifted nervously, working hard to quell her urge to bolt. He told her to trust him, so that was what she needed to do. After a few moments of silence, Marco spoke.

"Whenever I can't sleep, I just count the dots and splotches on my ceiling. There're so many, I always fall asleep before I finish. It could just be me, but why don't you give it a try?"

She was flummoxed. He wanted her to fall asleep in his bed? What did _that_ mean? Was it just an innocent offer of help, or something more? Auuughh. Her mind really sucked right now. She needed to get out of here _right now._ But trust. Trrruuusssttt. Ever since the Blood Moon Ball, they were big on that. So she turned her gaze to the ceiling and figured she might as well beat his record, whatever it was.

All was quiet for several moments as Star counted away, finding herself caught up in the exercise, thinking less and less about Marco and more about the task at hand. Then she spoke up.

"Y'know, there are a lot of faces and shapes on your ceiling. Have you ever tried counting _them?_ "

Marco shifted a little closer and suddenly every nerve inside Star came alive. But all he did was nudge her slightly before offering a thoughtful frown.

"Faces?" He asked, looking uncertainly at the ceiling. He was silent for a few moments, considering. "I've never really seen them that way before, show me?"

So she did. She pointed out the silly grins and even a few frowny faces. And the more she showed him, the less she thought about her problems and her mind cleared. Especially when she got around to pointing out the hilariously goofy dragon with a bear's face. He had the most trouble with that one, and she had to take his arm and guide it along the wall until it pointed right at the oddly shaped spot.

"See? It's totally a dragon with a bear's face." Marco seemed skeptical for a moment and Star had to look away. He looked way too cute when he was considering something. But finally he relented, offering a shrug and a small laugh.

"Well, I can't see what else it could possibly be! So dragon with a bear's head it is!"

The two of them pointed out various faces and shapes for the next little while, counting and explaining discoveries until little by little their voices quieted and finally dropped off as their owners fell asleep. An hour so before they were expected to wake up, Star pulled herself from the warmth of his bed and stole away to her room, afraid of being caught by either of the Diaz adults.

The two of them didn't mention the night before at the breakfast table, but Star found it difficult to stop smiling for days afterwards. And from then on, whenever her worries became too much, she'd escape to his room and they'd repeat the process. They always kept a distance between their bodies as they lay on his bed, and Star took it for what it was: a friend reaching out to help her in her time of need. She cherished every bit of it. He always asked her to help him find the dragon-bear, claiming it was impossible for him to pinpoint without her help. She loved that, too. After a while, she began leaving messages on his ceiling with her wand, little words of encouragement and other observations. They never spoke directly about it, but she always knew when he found them based on the little grins he'd have in the morning. She began to live for that grin, and worked hard to overcome the fear that came with it. She kept silent about her feelings, burying them deeply and making herself content with his friendship instead. It really was enough.

* * *

As she sits in the receding darkness, staring at her blank ceiling, Star contemplates what she'd do for an encouraging message of her own. But she's got nothing and she's the reason why. The monsters in her dreams scare her, but it's that feeling of utter loss and isolation that caused Star to jolt awake. And the fact that it's still lingering there, making friends with the dread in her chest...well, she's feeling very close to falling apart. Who is she supposed to talk to about this stuff? She's cut herself off from the greatest confidante she's ever had. There's no one just down the hall from her now, only empty rooms.

She doesn't know what to do. Any time she's ever had a problem like this, Marco was the one to talk her through it. And thanks to her inability to Deal With Shit, he isn't here. For the first time in a long while, Star lets herself think of him. About how he'd always be there for her, willing to lend a hand or be the voice of reason for any problem she might have. He never treated her fears as stupid, even if they really were. He was always willing to go along with almost any scheme, offering an indulgent smile and jumping right in. He was so good to her. It was one of the many, many reasons she fell in love with him. Even when he seemed to pull back from her, he was still there. She was hurt by the distance he put between them, but at any point did he actually refuse to help her? She can't come up with a single instance. But she took that distance as a personal affront and instead of _asking_ him what it was about, she internalized her insecurities. She let them grow into something big and fragile and dangerous. Then she shut him out and ran away.

Star doesn't have him anymore: the sudden realization sends her into another panic, flooding her with such a feeling of loss and sadness that she feels as though she's drowning. She can't move from her bed, only capable of hugging herself tightly and gasping for breath as tears stream down her face.

Manfred finds her some time later, sent to see what was taking the Princess so long to make an appearance. Star's grateful it's him and between sobs she's able to communicate that no, she is not okay but that she definitely does not want him to call for her mother. She just needs a little more time to deal with falling apart. "A little more time" turns out to be several hours, but that's okay, she thinks. Falling apart was hard and putting herself back together takes time. She started this mess a while before dawn and it isn't until well into the afternoon that Princess Star Butterfly emerges from her room and starts her day.

* * *

Star leans forward in her throne, stretching her neck in order to get a better view of the Royal Guard. She's chewing thoughtfully on her wand and thinking about the past. Her mother shoots her a warning look, gaze pointed directly at the wand. Star groans quietly and stows the wand away in her purse, where she won't be tempted to gnaw on it anymore. She slumps into her seat. She's so tired and she feels the fatigue in every part of her body. The princess is desperate for some sort of distraction, anything to keep her mind off what happened this morning.

Her current distraction comes in the form of the castle's recently appointed General, William Eric. Star had heard about his promotion, but hadn't seen him since it happened. In fact, she hasn't really seen or spoken to him for years. Definitely well before she was given the wand and "banished" to another dimension. She's trying to compare the new General to the weedy little kid she used to run the castle halls with.

Star straightens from her slouch and strains to catch another glimpse of him. She notes that he hasn't changed a whole lot...but in another way, he's entirely different. It's weird. The Princess is pleased to see that his previously broken nose hasn't hindered his handsome features at all. She still feels bad about that. She watches with interest as he leads the rest of the guards in their exercises, impressed with how quickly each soldier responds to his commands. River seems just as pleased, drawing himself up happily and shouting encouragements from afar. _Very professional, dad._ She thinks, shaking her head. If _she_ did anything like that, Queen Moon the Undaunted would be piercing her with a look of disapproval quicker than a Goatpig finishes his dinner. But with her husband, Moon just looks away. How fair is that?! Talk about playing favourites.

It's odd, though. Star can't remember a time when daily inspections were necessary for their soldiers. For the most part and aside from babysitting, Mewni's forces have always had an unobtrusive existence in her life: a comforting presence but always in the background, never drawing attention to itself. Since receiving the wand, Star hasn't given them a great deal of thought. In the last few weeks she's seen them more than ever: King River's held inspections every afternoon, critiquing equipment and form, verbally undressing anyone dressed improperly. Two days ago he yelled at a soldier for over twenty minutes because his weapon wasn't pointy enough! Star can't think of any reason for security to be tightened so much. Sure, her birthday bash is a big deal...but to go this far? Whenever she asks her parents to tell her what's up, they just give her noncommittal answers or in the case of her father, shove a plate full of corn in her face. What's with that?

As River signals for the guards to make another pass, it takes everything in Star to stop herself from groaning loudly and melting into a puddle on the Throne Room floor. She doesn't have much left in her reserves. She's so tired from last night. And this morning. From everything, really. Queen Moon is still shooting her glances, but now they seem concerned. Star really wants to seem put together for everyone, especially her parents. But it's just so hard. Pulling herself together after this morning's incident had taken everything she had. All she can do is concern herself with distractions in order to keep it together. Keep finding new versions of her messages on the ceiling. And General Eric is definitely an option. She feels bad that they haven't talked in so long, but maybe at the ball tonight, she can make up for lost time. The Dignitaries Ball. Uuuughhh, it really is tonight. She can barely make it through a few hours in the throne room, how is she supposed to survive an entire ball? Star slumps even further in her seat, ignoring her mother's now scathing glare.

* * *

Well. If Star thought the soldier's presentation was torture, it's nothing compared to her lesson with Glossaryk. It's not as though she figured her mentor would give her _some_ slack, it's still too much. The teenager just wants to sleep.

"Star! I may love the sound of my voice as much as anyone, but that does _not_ mean I enjoy repeating myself!" She jerks awake, wiping the drool from her mouth. Glossaryk is floating just in front of her face, a disapproving frown twisting his features. Star groans. Sure, he's an all-knowing, all-powerful magical being but a fly swatter would probably do _some_ damage, right?

"Star, are you even listening?" She knows he's well aware she wasn't, but Star answers anyway.

"Yeah, totally, totally, totally." Glossaryk sighs and gestures beseechingly at her.

"Then what was I talking about?"

Star responds through a yawn: they were discussing Dimensional Scissors and their history. She definitely didn't catch the _specifics_ , but knowing some part of what they were doing had to count for something. Any other day, Star would be interested. Ever since Marco spent sixteen years (SIXTEEN!) working to return "her" scissors, Star's been intrigued about their history. Also a little (or a whole lot) interested in why he'd spend so much time on something for her. But sure, the scissors themselves are important as well. Just not today. If she can't summon enough energy to keep her eyes open, how is she supposed to listen to him drone on about stuff that probably happened a million years ago?

Glossaryk makes another appeal for her attention and this time Star can't help but notice just how serious he seems beneath the surface. While her mentor's never been one to take an entirely no-nonsense approach with her studies, Star's never gotten the impression that he takes them 100% serious, either. Right now his usual undercurrent of humour is gone. Part of her wonders if it has to do with the mystery of the castle's increased security. It's been Glossaryk's habit to release information on an entirely coincidental need-to-know basis, though and if Star has found her parents evasive, it's nothing compared to how Glossaryk can be. So she gives in. Sort of.

"Okay, okay. You have my 100% attention." It's definitely a lie: about 70% of her attention is focused on the stupid ache in her chest. Despite her attempts to pull it together this morning, Star still has that feeling of dread. And along with it, periodical pangs of both pain and longing. She discreetly grabs a cushion and holds it to her chest, Glossaryk shrewdly watching her movements. The look he offers sets her on edge even further. She really does try to pay attention.

"Okay. I'm listening, I swear. What was next?"

"I was trying to talk to you about communication, Princess. About words and their meanings."

Star has a couple of problems. First, she finds it laughable that the most convoluted being in the entire _universe_ is talking to her about clear communication. Second, how vague is that? _Their meanings?_ Like, all words in general or just specific ones she's magically supposed to know? They were talking about scissors a minute ago! She's pretty sure, anyway. It's ridiculous how she always seems to come out of these lessons more confused than when they first start. Star's about open her mouth to argue and complain, but she notices that strange earnestness again. It makes her sit straight and listen, her fatigue set aside.

"We've long gone over the importance of certain words when it comes to magic: that's basic stuff. Incantations and key phrases paired with the proper gestures can create some pretty potent stuff. Even your narwhals pack a powerful punch."

Alliteration aside, Star's fairly sure Glossaryk means to compliment her. But he isn't lying: all of this is beginner's stuff. She's known this since forever.

"When you shout out a spell for your wand to cast, you're communicating with it and entering an agreement just before it reacts. You direct the wand and allow it to channel the magic through you. It's almost as though you two have a pact."

Star considers her wand as it sits on the table before her. She's never thought about it before, but there really is a pact between them. The wand reacts as soon as it's in her hand. It even takes a form that suits her personality. She's never without it and in battle she trusts it to help her win. It never fails. Hell, when she's holding it the thing feels like an extension of her arm, something natural. She's able to shout out her spells and if she's concentrating, if she's putting her heart into it, magic comes to her aid, every time. She even sleeps with it under her pillow.

She looks up at Glossaryk, quietly considering his words.

"So it's like...we're connected, right?"

Glossaryk offers a somewhat sarcastic cheer and claps his hands.

"Yes, _now_ you're getting it! You two are _cleaved_ together. And that relationship is important. You are a pair. These kind of partnerships are so strong and they manifest in other ways, with other things and people."

 _Aw, Pegasus feathers!_ He's lost her again, just when she figured she was following his crazy words. Her confusion must show on her face and Glossaryk stops his clapping, sagging.

"How do I make this easier for you?" For a second Glossaryk actually appears serious, as though he's really considering something. She can't imagine what's making him hesitate. But he seems to get over it quickly, shrugging in an annoyingly blasé way.

"Oh well, it really _will_ make this easier. Yes, you are connected to your wand. You rely on it, trust it to save your life when it really counts."

He floats close to Star, arms behind his head.

"But you also have that mentality with _someone_ else, right?"

Star considers his words and then freezes, clutching the pillow tighter. There's no confusion about his words now. She knows exactly who he means: there is no one else she trusts more. There's only one answer and they both know it. Star bows her head, unable to answer his question. It was probably rhetorical anyway. That's how stupid Glossaryk rolls. As if to prove her right, he continues on without waiting for a reply.

"You two are bonded. You have a partnership based on complete trust and friendship. Both of you work together seamlessly. But it isn't just in battle: he's your 'Partner in Crime,' isn't he? You've trusted Marco to show you all about Earth."

She trusts him for _everything._ The best place to get burritos? Marco knows. Fighting with fountains? He's shown her not to do that, either. She won't even mention the "lesson" instigated by a nasty encounter with the mailman. Whenever something confused her, Star looked to Marco to sort her out. And it went both ways whenever they were in Mewni.

"So we're good friends, what the heck does that matter?"

Glossaryk sighs as if suddenly exhausted with this lesson and maybe everything else. He floats closer, prodding the pillow in an accusatory way.

"But you're not just good friends, are you? You want it to be something more, don't you?"

Star's flabbergasted. He's not supposed to be bugging her about this stuff! What does this even have to do with a magic lesson?! Sure, she needs someone to talk to about this stuff, but she'd never consider Glossaryk a confidante, not in a million years! She gasps, her hands dropping the pillow and flying to her mouth.

"Tha-that's not true! We're just friends. Really good friends! Partners in battle! Nothing more!"

She knows that any objections are most likely useless. Glossaryk is really shrewd. He knows everything and he _clearly_ isn't tactful at all. Her chest aches as if emphasizing his words, although she doesn't know why.

"Come now, Star. I would hope we were close enough in our mentor-student relationship! We don't need to play these silly games. You forget that I've been here for everything, haven't I? I do live in the book, and that's something you've taken to Earth every time. I've seen everything, you know."

She definitely can't deny that. Star slumps over the table, squishing her face into the surface. Her next words are muffled and full of defeat.

"Yes okay, you win! I like him!'

What a vast understatement, but she's sure he knows anyway. She still doesn't understand what this has to do with magic, though. Does he just want to humiliate her? Because it's definitely working!

Glossaryk seems to pity her and stops his accusations and questions. He offers an explanation for once, but it isn't anything she's ever expected.

"You two were connected on many levels. Whether some aspects were one-sided or not, there was a bond."

One-sided or not? She rolls her eyes and silently scoffs. If Glossaryk knows _Star's_ feelings, she's willing to bet he knows Marco's. But of course he wouldn't tell her about _that_. He's just content embarrassing her about her own feelings. What a jerky little magic man. It gets worse, though. His next words stop her cold.

"But you broke it."

Star's head shoots off the desk and she shakes her head, ready to angrily deny his charge. She didn't break anything! It was already cracked, they were barely speaking! How was that her fault?! Glossaryk reads the indignation in her eyes and waves it off.

"You left and you put dimensions between you. You tried to cleave yourself apart from him. And it was working for a while...but these bonds have a tendency to hold tight in mysterious ways." He points to her pillow which she's unconsciously clutching again in a hope to ease the pain.

"You've been clutching that pillow as though it's a lifesaver and you're lost sea. Is something bothering you? Maybe hurting a bit, something new that's never been there before?"

Does he know _everything?!_ She knows he's all powerful in everything magic, but this has nothing to do with it, right? Why is he bugging her? Can't she just take her aching heart back upstairs and call it a day? She doesn't need to be here and she definitely doesn't need to make an appearance at that stupid ball. It's all too much. She's been running on empty for _hours_ now and Star really doesn't appreciate Glossaryk's smug observations about her life...but if he really knows what's happening to her, that's something, right? Maybe he can solve the mystery. If he ignores his annoying tendency toward riddles and stupid tricks.

But Glossaryk is surprisingly earnest again.

"Star, you two have a connection stronger than anything you've been considering. Whether you are friends or more, the bond is there and it can't be ignored. You can put distance between you, but the bond will still exist. It's not something you can just throw away. Not anymore. There's the Blood Moon for one, and then there's love itself. Whether it's platonic or not, love can be the most powerful magic of all. It manifests itself in the most surprising ways. You tried to cut that tie in order to pull away. You wanted to preserve your heart. I understand that. But it isn't so easy. Love like that demands to be heard. And if you push it aside..."

He gestures toward her and the pillow, implication clear.

"Wait a minute. This whole thing is because of _MARCO?!_ Like. Like. I'm broken or something? The things I feel...well, they hurt a lot! But there's other stuff and it definitely doesn't feel like heartbreak. Glossaryk, what the _heck_ is going on?!"

He shrugs again, the picture of perfect ease. Like suddenly this is nothing to him, even if it's changing Star's entire world.

"You tried to sever your bond. And it found another way to stick around. You're connected to the Diaz boy. You feel what he feels and I am sure it works the same way for him. I told you Star, connections like this can span the longest distances. Dimensions do not matter, if the bond is deep and really there, it will find a way. You stopped communicating, so now it made this new way. It's rare, but it does happen. Lucky you, right?"

Star doesn't feel lucky at all. She _aches_ and she wants it to go away. ...but if it means that she and Marco are still linked somehow, well, that means something, doesn't it? It's something concrete, evidence that there's something between them. Platonic or not, she can't ignore it. Not something like this. She curls herself around the pillow, hugging it closely. She misses Marco so much, it's unbearable. How much longer can she go on like this?

"Why are you telling me this, Glossaryk?" She can't figure that out. How is this crucial information for anything other than her own misery?

"So I miss Marco, so what?"

Glossaryk continues to pity her and answers right away, no riddles included. Well. Kind of.

"That connection and lack of communication is rare, but it's happen before. Someone wanted to say something very badly, so he's finding a way."

Wait, _what?!_ Does this have to do with the castle's increased security and her parent's paranoia?

Why can't he just give her a straight answer? _Who_ is finding a way? And what's the way? What does that even mean?!

Her stupid mentor settles himself right in front of her face.

"Star, whenever someone has a message or a feeling they need to communicate, if they want it that bad, if it means that much to them, they _will_ find a way." He gestures to the way she clutches at her chest.

"Even if it means crossing dimensions."

Okay, that solves nothing. She still has a million questions. Super magical connection to Marco aside, what the hell is going on?

"Glossaryk, I don't get it. _Who_ is finding a way? And what the heck does 'finding a way' even mean?! Is it a bad thing? Should I be worried? Mom and Dad seem a little crazy, so should I be freaking out as well?"

Glossaryk waves every single question aside, shaking his head.

"I'm afraid our current time is up, Princess! You must prepare for the ball tonight, after all."

Screw the ball! This is so clearly more important. But once her mentor has decided he's done, that's it. Star _always_ leaves these lessons with more questions than answer. Every. Single. Time.

She lets out an explosive sigh, giving in and throwing the pillow aside. She stands slowly, grabbing her wand. This is insane. Why can't her stupid teacher give her the information she needs? What's with his need to be endlessly cryptic? She'd squish him if he could. If only that garbage truck had really done the job.

"Fine, fine. Whatever. Like I even care. I don't need to know anything, I'm perfectly FINE living in ignorance!"

She grumbles and heads out the door, reluctantly heading to her chambers. There will be maids and servants there to help make her into the princess she's _supposed_ to be. And that'll take a while. At least stupid Glossaryk has given her a distraction to think about.

* * *

Star hesitates at the top of the stairs, scrutinizing the Royal Family Portrait. At some point her parents must have gotten it fixed. She can't pair herself with the image in the picture. That other Star has to be some kind of mutant twin from another dimension. She knows it's a depiction of the type of person a princess should be, but Star can't imagine herself that way. She remembers how difficult and frustrating it was to sit still in such a manner for so long. It's just not her. But for tonight's ball, it's who she has to be. This stupid thing can't have come at a worse time, scheduled or not.

All Star wants to do is spend the entire night locked in her room. She needs time to digest what she's learned during her lesson with Glossaryk. Now that she knows where these sudden feelings are coming from, Star experiences them in a more visceral way. It's proof of their connection, of how much they mean to each other. It hurts, but she finds she wouldn't give it up for anything. She isn't sure whether this is a good or bad thing. She's glad for the connection, it feels like a lifeline in an ocean of uncertainty. But the doubt is still there and the princess knows that talking to Marco is the only way to rid herself of it. And that definitely isn't something she thinks she's ready for any time soon. So she takes a deep breath and composes herself, schooling her features into a bright and friendly smile. She may be known as the Rebel Princess to the monsters and a few others but during this ball she's Princess Star Butterfly, prim and proper daughter of the Queen and King. It's so gonna be a long night.

After about a million different introductions and ten thousand hours of small talk, Star finds herself alone at the punch bowl. It's completely boring and Henry-free, but at least she's got a few moments to herself. It's been so difficult keeping up her facade. It's hard to keep upbeat and proper for near-strangers while she's fighting her own melancholy as well as the aching feeling through the link. Star thinks she's been doing a decent job though, she hasn't intercepted any sharp looks from her mother, anyway. She's trying her hardest not to let every one know she's breaking down. In the mean time, she can have a drink and take some much needed time to pull herself together. Just five or so minutes without answering any dumb questions or performing curtsies and offering pleasantries she's not sure she means.

Star takes a long sip of the punch, facing away from the crowd. She's about to shuffle along the table, eyeing a few sweets when she becomes aware of a presence a little to her left. Lowering her glass, Star prepares herself for the usual Royal Greeting but stops short when she realizes it's William. Wait. General Eric now. He's stationed along the wall, just outside one of the room's many exits. She's pretty certain her little escape has been noticed if the wry smile on his face is any indication. Welp. She can't ignore him, that'd be rude, right? Besides, it's been so long since she's really seen her old friend. He's technically at work, but Star's not above using her status in order to talk to someone she's actually interested in. She clutches her glass tightly and approaches the soldier.

William immediately bows, following proper protocol and everything. It's something Star hates. They used to run around the castle grounds together, stealing from the kitchen and picking fights with the monsters in the Forest. Now there's a definite line between them and Star wishes she could just grab it and throw the entire thing away.

"Your Highness, it's so nice to see you. I hope you're enjoying yourself." She hates being referred to with that title. It comes with so much responsibility and expectation. Star's about to answer in the customary way when she catches the friendly camaraderie hidden in his tone. A smile lights her face and she nods at him, relieved at how easy it's suddenly become between them. Sure there's that line, but the soldier seems entirely willing to reach over it and that's something Star appreciates. She knows that there are a lot of formalities being ignored right now, but William's a friendly face in among what feels like a million insufferable dignitaries. In a sea of awkward conversation and constant formalities, she needs an ally. It's the only way she'll survive.

She looks over the crowd, catching the blonde hair of the King as he entertains several guests with his booming stories and waving arms. Queen Moon is catering to a much calmer group of people, laughing politely behind her glove. She's certain her absence won't be noticed, at least not for a little while. Star is suddenly overcome by the crowd. She thinks of her time on Earth, full of people she knew and who knew her. They didn't constantly bow to her, they never sucked up to her, not really. They were all friends. The crowd at school was one she was happy to be a part of. But this one...she just can't do it, she needs a break. She places her her glass of punch back on the table and cranes her head to spot any means of escape. There's a door leading out to one of the many balconies the castle has. Star isn't supposed to go anywhere without an escort, but luckily there's a handy dandy General waiting in the wings.

"Will you escort me outside? It's crazy in here and I'm not allowed to go alone-" She breaks off to gesture at her mother. "And my parents would kill me if I wandered off like that."

Star knows he'll say yes. He can't really refuse: he's one of the palace's Royal Guards. But she really hopes he realizes that she's asking him for this favour as a friend, not making it a demand. Will doesn't seem offended at all though, and he accepts her request without hesitation.

"Of course, Princess." He smoothly tucks her arm through his and they make their way across the ballroom, attempting to blend in as much as possible. Star doesn't want to be stopped by _anyone_ while she's making her escape. There's a few awkward shuffles as they move to avoid the many eager smiles and of course they can't risk the attention of the Queen. As they finally make their way out to the the balcony, Star is hanging off Will's arm and laughing. She's always enjoyed a little espionage. As the heavy doors close behind them, Star lets go of Will's arm and makes her way to the edge, leaning over the railing to catch a view of the houses and buildings below. She can hear Will behind her, and she wishes he'd ignore their statuses and talk with her.

As if he's reading her mind, her old friend makes his way to the edge, stationing himself just to the left of her. She smiles up at him and he offers a soft version of his own. She's a little uncertain, though. The two of them haven't talked for years and she knows it's mostly her fault. They were close friends and then she left to go build a new life, leaving him behind. She barely wrote to him. As her life on Earth became bigger and something more like home, Star slowly let go of the tethers that held her to Mewni. It wasn't entirely intentional, just a natural adjustment to a big change. She thinks of how easy it all seemed, back when she and Marco were busy doing other things and having adventures every day. Mewni became a place far away, somewhere she visited very rarely and only when she was forced. Letting go was simple. Now that she's here though, she can feel just how big and hurtful her actions were. What was she thinking? She's a Mewman. She's not supposed to belong on Earth and cutting her ties to home was stupid. She can only hope Will forgives her. Star turns to face him, unsure of what she can even say. But she has to try. She's lost so much because of her silence and it's time to stop.

"Will, I'm so sor-"

He cuts her off with a grin, nudging her playfully.

"Star, it's okay. I get it. You were busy and so was I. It's hard to keep up contact when things are like that. It sucks, but I understand. You're here now."

Star's speechless for a moment. She remembers how easy-going Will's always been, but this seems a little too easy. She still feels bad and it's clear he can tell.

"Don't worry, now you just owe me! Not many can say they're owed a favour from a Princess."

Star blinks and she turns to face him fully, back against the railing. She can't get over the warmth that comes from him. He's so amicable and it's so easy to fall back into the routine they used to have. She's okay with owing him one. She isn't sure what she can say though, so she busies herself by looking around and rediscovering familiar ground. This is the first time she's come out here since leaving for Earth and for some reason it's a little like coming home. She glances back at Will, a little uncertain.

"We used to play here all the time, didn't we?"

He nods, and gestures at the balcony.

"It was our favourite spot. You used to decapitate stuffed animals over there, and we'd make forts using the tables on the other side. It was nice that you chose this one."

He grins and falls back against the balustrade. "I know a lot of things changed when we got older: it was easy to fall out of touch. But I'm really glad we got to see each other tonight, I've missed you."

Star's immediately filled with guilt. She wants to be able to say that she missed him as well, but it would be a lie. She's been so caught up in the magic of Earth and its people. Mewni's been a distance place she's forced to visit for boring meetings every once in a while. Before now, every time she's been here, Star's counted down the minutes until her return to Earth and Marco. She doesn't want to lie to Will, but she definitely doesn't want to reveal just how awful she's been. So instead, she shrugs and nudges him slightly and voices a worry that's been nagging her.

"I'm awfully bad at staying in touch...and being good to friends." She's referring to Will, but Marco's on her mind. He's always there, in the background. No matter how much she wants to forget everything and act like a normal Mewman, thoughts of him intrude.

Something must show on her face and Will breaks the awkward silence.

"You really miss Earth, don't you? Can I ask why you came back so soon?"

Her mother's the only one who knows the real reason behind Star's retreat. She's not sure she wants to tell anyone else. It's something she holds close to her heart. Something she's ashamed of. And just on cue, the connection flares and warms her chest, an immense feeling of hope and excitement. What's going on with Marco? She instinctively clutches her front, overwhelmed. Will looks concerned and moves to help her, but Star waves him off. She'll manage. She shakes it off as best as she can and straightens.

"I dunno, Earth was great but I have a lot of duties to take care of here. I was bound to leave _sometime_ so I figured I may as well come back now instead of later." She looks down and her voice becomes soft. It's easy to be more honest about the next part.

"But I miss the people. I had a lot of friends there, and it's hard to be away from them. And the family I was staying with- the Diazes. They were so amazing and kind. And Marco, he...well he was everything. I haven't talked to him since I left and it's been hard. I miss everyone, but Marco's absence hurts the most. We had so many plans for my birthday and now I just know he won't want to come."

Star shakes her head and looks out on the kingdom below, biting her lip. She really didn't mean to reveal that much, but it's nice to speak her feelings out loud. It doesn't stop her from feeling embarrassed, though. She feels Will shift behind her and then he's at her side, a hand rested on her shoulder.

"You really need to talk to him. Trust me, I know first hand how hard it is to deal with distance and silence. It sucks. But he's your best friend, right? Maybe you can just call him. Invite him to your party again."

Despite the deep shame and guilt that has joined the lump in her stomach, Star manages to lift her eyes to Will's. She really doesn't deserve his friendship, but he's here anyway, looking out for her like he always did. Except then he was gangly and uncoordinated. Now he's something else. She knows she's done a lot of growing during her time on Earth, both mentally and physically. And while she was gone, Will was doing the same, maybe even more. She can't help but be proud of him. She smiles widely and grabs the soldier, hugging him tightly for a few seconds. When she lets go, he looks a little dazed but he manages a grin and Star feels a little bit of the dread lift. It's still there but with the prospect of seeing Marco, first in the mirror and then maybe in person...well, she's nervous but she's got a lot of hope. No more hiding.

She glances out at the sky and groans. Mewni's moons are almost high in the sky, which means it's getting late. If she has any chance of talking to Marco, she has to do it now. But what about the party? Surely her mom would let this one go, right? She did seem pretty insistent about her attendance. She just knows it's too early to disappear without receiving a giant and loooonngg lecture in the morning. She's torn, an agonized grimace distorting her features. Will looks a little uncomfortable as he witnesses her little break down. But after a moment, he has a solution. He draws himself up importantly and reassures her.

"Don't worry, Princess. I'll cover for you if anyone asks. You left on official business, totally unavoidable."

Star smiles gratefully. That excuse would definitely work on most of the guests. She knows her mom would see through it, but that can't be helped. If she finds out, Star'll take the punishment. This is important.

Will offers a small bow and gestures to the doors of the castle. "It's getting late, you'd better hurry." Star nods and makes her way to the door immediately. She pulls them open and makes her escape. It isn't until she's running down the hallway to her room that she realizes how sad the General sounded as he sent her away. It's confusing, but she can't dwell on it, not now. She needs to get a hold of Marco. She just hopes he's near enough to hear the mirror go off. The princess's steps quicken as she hurries down the hall that leads to her bedroom.

* * *

Star bursts into her room, panting. She's run the entire way here and _damn_ is their castle big! She's been in such a rush to get here, but now that she's actually front of the mirror, the princess falters, uncertainty taking hold. She knows she needs to talk to Marco. He needs to come to her party. Whether he's there as her friend or something more, she needs him by her side. But first she needs to press the button on her mirror, no big deal. It should be easy and quick, a simple press of a button and then they talk. But how is she supposed to initiate that? Just call him up as though nothing's happened these past few weeks? She can't imagine how hurt and angry he must be. She doesn't feel anything like that through their link, but maybe he isn't projecting everything because he isn't aware of its existence? She's afraid to find out. She's also afraid to acknowledge her deeper, darker feelings. What if he didn't care at all? What if her absence was nothing for him, and he's happily existing without her? It's selfish, she knows. Especially since sh e's the one who put this new distance between them. And now she has to be the one to breach it. If he even listens.

Star groans and bangs her head against the wall, her hand hovering over the call button on her mirror. She hates that this is so difficult for her. The apprehension she feels now is so new and foreign to her. But she's Star Butterfly, Rebel Princess. This is something she can overcome. Something she _needs_ to push through. So she shoves herself off the wall and stands properly, smoothing out her dress. She loses any composure she might have had when she has to request that the mirror " _call home._ " Luckily the mirror rings several times, allowing the princess time to pull herself together again. As much as she can, anyway. She's dressed properly and her hair is perfectly coiffed, but she knows the illusion is broken by the defeated look in her eyes.

The mirror continues to ring and Star stands perfectly still, willing herself to remain where she is, ignoring the voice in her head that exclaims "abort, abort!" The ringing stops and for a second she believes it went unanswered. Then he appears on the screen and Star is dumbstruck. The two of them stare silently for what feels like a lifetime. She's afraid to speak, not quite trusting herself to say the right thing. Marco doesn't say anything either and Star steals a few seconds to take him in. There he is. Marco Diaz, her Safe Kid. She wishes desperately that they weren't dimensions apart. Her nerves get the best of her and Star gnaws her wand anxiously after offering her friend a small smile. This seems to loosen something in Marco and she hears him sigh heavily as he leans closer to the mirror. It's been too long, she needs to speak. So Star gathers up her courage and offers the lamest greeting in the multiverse.

"Hey Marco...what's up?"

Marco's still silent and suddenly the feeling in Star's chest flares with a sharp longing she doesn't quite understand. She takes a deep breath and watches as Marco moves toward her as though he can reach through the mirror, but he stops just short of the glass with a defeated sigh. His sad eyes catch her gaze and he offers his own version of a broken smile.

"Star. I-I'm so glad to-" He hangs his head and abandons his words while Star quietly falls apart. This is all wrong. It isn't how they're supposed to be. What has she done? She needs to fix this. She abandons all pretense and splays a hand against the mirror.

"I miss you. I-I needed to f-figure..." And now she can't finish her sentences. This isn't something she wants to do with so much distance between them. She needs to do it in person. If she's going to be brave she has to do it right. So she changes tactics and struggles to manage some sort of normalcy between them.

"So my birthday's coming up and I know we had all these plans and I sort of screwed it up with all my studying but I was hoping you were still willing to..." Star trails off, afraid to finish her request.

But Marco understands the gist of it and laughs softly as he places his hand over hers. She imagines she can actually feel it dimensions away. She wishes she can grab it and never let go. A peculiar look comes across Marco's face and his smile becomes a little less broken.

"Star, nothing would stop me from being there."

Relief floods her entire body and Star is able to relax a little. There's still tension between them – she can feel it through all the unspoken words between them. But now isn't the time for it. She needs to see him. For a second she wishes her birthday wasn't days away. There's no reason she can ask for him to come early, not without laying all her cards out. Besides, she probably needs the time to pull herself together in order to gather just a little more courage.

"It'll be a big day for you, are you nervous at all?" She looks up at his question, thinking carefully. She's a little nervous about the ceremony, but it's not as though she's becoming Queen right there. There's just a little more pomp and circumstance than her previous birthdays. What's she's nervous about is seeing him. Star peeks up at his face, trying to take stock of him. She can't help but notice how tired he looks. Her heart automatically goes out to him. As tough as things have been between them, she needs Marco to be okay. Does she look as bad? She knows that without a doubt she does. The two of them make such a broken pair. The princess feels another part of her (and she just knows thinking this should have her banished to the Underworld) wonders if maybe he looks that way because of her. It's selfish and mean, but the idea that her absence can affect him in any way is flattering. Star just wants to know that this separation hurts him like it does her. Needing this knowledge makes her feel small and mean. But it's there and she can't deny it. She's tired of denying things.

It's been several seconds since his question, and Marco looks expectant. Star shakes herself and grins awkwardly. "Sorry, just...thinking. Uh yeah, I'm a little nervous. But it won't be so bad if you're there." A little light creeps into his eyes as she says this, and Star is encouraged. She becomes a little more sure that she's doing the right thing. She can't spend all her time pining and second guessing. The time for that ended eons ago and she's fed-up with herself. She takes this sudden courage and uses it to look him in the eye.

"I can't wait to see you, Marco." It's a tiny fraction of the honesty she needs to show him, but it's enough for now. All of that will come later. For now, it's enough to just see him and talk like this. Star moves closer to the mirror, resting her head against the glass. Her hearts skips several beats when he copies her.

"Me either, Star."

The two of them remain like that for a few moments longer until the need to speak pervades and the two of them move on to other, less heavy topics.

Almost an hour later (but to Star it felt like only seconds) the mirror's blank and Star steps back, falling onto her bed. A happy and goofy smile graces her lips and she hugs a pillow, finally looking forward to her birthday. She can't wait to see him.


	5. Chapter 5

**We Made Plans to be Unbreakable**

 **(The Tension and the Terror)**

Over a day has passed since Star's call and Marco still can't stop smiling. He feels as though he's entered another dimension where everything is just a little bit louder and a million times brighter. He's caught on the edge between excitement and complete anxiety. But he's been enduring the weird looks from others for a while now, so when Marco facilitates between these two extremes, it's easy to ignore. He goes to school, but offers only a physical presence: his mind is far away, thinking of impossible scenarios where everything turns out great and they all live happily ever after. Truth is, he'd settle for something less grand but more important: he just wants his friend back. If he and Star can talk and figure out this whole mess, it's an overwhelming win. And he'll tell her, he's already promised himself that. But if it's friendship that Star wants, he has her back. He always has. And he always will.

It's the day before Star's ball and Marco's wandering through the school's hallways, slowly drifting towards an exit. The chattering crowds are loud, lockers slamming and doors shutting, but Marco hears nothing. He's busy thinking of Star. Picturing her taking his hand and leading him onto the dance floor. She's got a soft smile and her cheeks are bright. The awful wall between them is gone and finally they're both on the same page. They aren't talking because this is about moving together and following the music. The two of them have always marched to a different beat, but right now they're following along with the orchestra and they are completely in sync. He pulls her in after a perfectly executed dip and she's laughing. And because they both know exactly what's on each other's mind, they both lean in at the same time and he's going to get the kiss he's always dreamed of. She gets closer still and then-

"Earth to Marcooo!" He's yanked back to reality, re-immersed in the school's end of day chaos. Jackie's standing there, waving her hands at him. He blinks, not entirely there yet.

"Geez, man. You were totally out for a while there. I've been calling you for ever!"

Marco shakes his head, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. He's a little embarrassed, but honestly this isn't the first time someone's failed to get his attention like this. At least Jackie thinks it's funny. The teachers haven't been nearly as understanding. He had such a clean behavioral record, too.

"Sorry Jackie, I'm a little out of it. Just been thinking about the d-" She cuts him off with a laugh.

"The dance, I know. Can't blame you for that. You'll be seeing Star for the first time in a while, right?" Her words turn serious at the end, and Marco feels that Jackie knows ijust/i how important this whole thing is. It feels nice to have someone in his corner. He shifts his backpack higher up on his shoulder.

"Yeah...I'm kind of at a total loss, here. I mean. I got her a gift and I hope she'll like it, but this is really big. It's not just any ball. It's _Star's_ ball. The Big One. I can't mess anything up." He's not just talking about tripping on the dance floor or anything. If he slips up and ruins things between them _even more_ , well. He can just count on heading home and staying in his bed forever. He looks up and Jackie's there, looking sympathetic. "I don't even know what to wear." What's the protocol for this thing? He knows that previous balls called for "Royal Garb," which _sounded_ kind of cool but ended up involving a lot of tassels and things he'd later learn were called "epaulettes." He didn't care what they were, Marco felt that his shoulders didn't need decoration. In any case, those were special castle balls. This one was all for Star. Her rules only. So did that mean the usual dress code was defunct? He really, really hoped so. Not that he planned on wearing his hoodie: just anything that didn't involve freaking shoulder pads. But if his hoodie and "Royal Garb" were out, what _could_ he wear? It has to be something amazing, something that won't offend the princess's parents...but also something that will catch Star's eyes. But what are his options? His hoodie is definitely out, even though he's positive Star has a thing for it. All he can say is that before she came to Earth, his closet was definitely packed with more hoodies than what he has now. Just like his favourite cereal, Star's managed to swipe plenty of both.

Jackie's still there, but he's gone again. Do they make dress hoodies? Like...regular hoodies, only fancier? No, that's stupid. A button-down shirt? That's a little better, but is it enough? Turning eighteen is a big deal. Special princess or not! He shakes his head, frustrated that his internal monologue isn't coming up with what should be obvious. He's about to fall head-first into a Marco Moment, but Jackie's hand on his shoulder calls him back. Marco looks up and catches her smile.

"Dude. Stop thinking so hard. You look like your brain is gonna set itself on fire! Just wear a suit. You'll look great in it."

A suit? Marco hates suits. Like. A lot. He's about to voice his outright refusal, but hesitates. It really is the obvious answer. And it's just one night. A night during which he'll find out the answer to the most important question he'll ever ask. When he puts that into perspective, suffering through a few hours in a fancy suit doesn't seem so bad. Jackie's right. He tells her so, releasing a giant sigh of relief. He really doesn't have time for Marco Moments. He needs his head in the game.

"Thanks, Jackie. I don't have any suits, though. So I really need to get going if I'm gonna pull this off." He gestures to the doors before them. But his uncertainty must show on his face, because Jackie laughs and pushes the door open for him.

"I'll come with you, Marco. Tell you what looks good or not. It'll be easier if both of us are working on it! Don't worry. You'll look great for Star."

Marco smiles gratefully and follows his classmate out the door and into the bright sunlight.

Okay. This is it. Marco stares at the mirror, assessing his appearance for the millionth time. Jackie assured him that he looked perfect, but he's never been sure of himself in that way. What if his tie ends up being too crooked? Are his jacket's sleeves too long? What if he means to smile and all that happens is a horrible grimace that freaks Star out? There are so many things that can go wrong and he's considering every single one. It's really stupid, because he knows he's supposed to be bolstering himself. Gathering the courage to finally say the things he's been thinking to himself for years!

Disgusted with himself, Marco groans and turns away from his mirror. A glance at the clock tells him it's 5:30, so he still has a little time to get himself together. He'd told everyone at school to be at his house no later than 6:30 if they wanted to come to the party. With his scissors, he's the only one with access to Mewni. Getting home would be easy for all of them, but the trip _to_ Mewni took a little organization.

He paces around his room a little longer, struggling to talk himself both up _and_ down. It's a delicate balance and he's pretty certain he's lost, but then the sound of the doorbell saves him before his panic can escalate. Marco makes his way downstairs, trying desperately to avoid every laser puppy that poses as an obstacle to both his feet and the cleanliness of his suit. Making it to the door unscathed is a miracle. It swings open to reveal a pack of his and Star's friends, all of them dressed to the nines. He immediately feels better about his suit. Clearly everyone is taking Star's ball as seriously as he is.

The next half hour passes quickly while Marco attempts to make small talk with his classmates. When 6:30 arrives, Marco waits a little longer before grabbing his scissors. When he's certain no one else is showing up, the teenager cuts a large hole and starts herding everyone into Mewni. After his parents pass into the portal, Marco's the last one in the living room. He pulls at his suit one last time, takes a deep breath and then he steps through.

Marco leans against against a pillar, slowly sipping his punch. He's anxious as hell, and a tiny part of him is glad he and Star haven't had a chance to really talk. He needs time to get his nerves under control. Every time the two of them managed to get within speaking distance, some other person in a fancy dress or uniform would whisk her away in order to chat about "Official Business" or something. And every time his friend was pulled away, Marco's chest would flare with frustration and longing. He'd watch Star politely make conversation with whomeverhad commandeered her attention. He'd grin softly as she feigned interest, a polite smile gracing her features. Marco knew his best friend and while the multitudes of stuffy guests were oblivious, he could tell when Star was struggling with her frustration. He also knew that years ago, she probably would have interrupted the guest with a loud exclamation about her boredom before summoning her Fantastic Exit Beam to make a quick getaway. Now she listens patiently, offering advice and making jokes that elicit delighted laughter. He's proud of how much she's grown. It's a little scary, too: her maturity and ability to handle the people of Mewni meant she was one step closer to ascending the throne. What did that mean for him? Would he lose her? Marco's not sure about the future, but he does know what he wants right in this moment. He's terrified, but he needs to speak with Star. He needs to tell her.

Star finally manages to extricate herself from the crowd, apologizing gracefully as she makes her way to the punch table. Marco catches her eye for a second and it's like a bolt of lightning: his heart thumps wildly and breathing suddenly feels way too complicated. A tiny part of him is wishing for his own Exit Beam, but the rest of him needs to be near her. He can't keep his eyes off her, it's impossible. He watches as Star helps herself to some punch. She drinks deeply, carefully (and slowly!) placing the empty glass back on the table. Then she turns in his direction and he automatically straightens, pulling away from the pillar. Marco becomes a little concerned when Star hesitates, a look of panic marring her features. He's terrified that she doesn't actually want to talk with him, that she regretted the invitation and didn't know how to tell him to leave. Would she give him a chance to speak before her guards whisked him away? He's frantically going over emergency plans for such a situation when he notices Star take a deep, calming breath. He takes one of his own. Then a wonderfully crooked smile lights the princess's face and Star makes her way to him. Finally.

She's here and really in front of him. There's no mirror in the way, no dimensions between them. Immediately there's a kind of tension in the air and he can't quite figure it out. It isn't necessarily bad, but it certainly isn't making things easy, either. The two of them were able to talk so easily the other night...but now that they're finally here and together, he's tongue-tied. What happened to his eighteen step plan for his confession? He can't recall a single thing. All he has are his feelings and that tiny bit of hope. It's the hope that pushes him forward. It's probably breaking eight million Royal protocols, but Marco doesn't care. He pulls Star into a giant hug, tugging her close and holding tight. He feels her tense, but it's just for a second: Star wraps her arms around him just as tightly. They ignore the surprised titters of the guests all around them. It doesn't matter. He never wants to let go. But way too soon, he feels her loosen her grasp and she moves away. It's only a few steps back, but Marco feels every bit of the distance. He doesn't suffer for long, though: Star grabs his hand and leads him away from the crowd. He frantically tries to keep up, stumbling over his feet as she yanks him along. She's laughing and it's impossible for him to resist joining in. They duck behind a giant tapestry and he follows her down a dimly lit hall. Finally the two of them come to a stop, both bent over as the laughter takes over. Star's joy has always been contagious, and he can tell she feels victorious about their escape. He knows Star loves parties, but the complications of being a Princess always drain her. Right now this time is theirs alone. He needs to make the most of it.

Star's laughter dies off and she wipes her eyes. She pulls her wand out and waves it gently. The torches along the wall flare to life and suddenly the hallway is bright.

"Oh, Sweet Mewni that was exhausting! It's my birthday! Can't they give a princess a break?!"

He's about to agree, but Star suddenly sobers and moves closer. He looks at her, completely transfixed.

"Marco...it's so awesome to see you. Thank you for coming...I was worried that maybe you wouldn't want to and..."

She trails off sadly and for the first time Marco notices that her eyes are bright with tears. He wants to wipe them away, but lacks the courage. He's not sure he has the right to touch her. He can only offer words. He tries to be cheerful for her, anything to lift her spirits.

"Are you kidding me, Star? I wouldn't miss this for the world! You wouldn't believe how much people were talking about it at school. Every one was so excited. And I...well, I really couldn't wait to see you. I missed you. So much."

To Marco's horror, his words break the dam and Star's tears fall freely. He moves to hug her but stops, uncertain. It's infuriating. Marco's comforted Star a million times before this. It's never been this difficult. The wall is still between them and he's at a loss because for _some_ reason, he's too afraid to breach it. He wants to make her feel better, but he doesn't want to push any boundaries. Star's put so much distance between them, and he knows it was all for a reason. Is he supposed to just ignore that? What if it's not what she wants? He needs to make himself clear. And then go from there.

Before Star can say anything more, Marco reaches into his pocket and grabs her gift. A new kind of anxiety takes over, but the teen pushes on and places it in Star's hands.

"I saw this and just knew it was for you."

Star gingerly grasps the velvet box and holds it to her heart. Her gaze flickers between the gift and Marco, cautious. Marco's used to a different Star when it came to gift receiving. She's usually a bouncing tornado tearing wrappers off at the speed of light. But now he's treated to a new Star.

"Thank you so much, Marco. You didn't have to!"

He wants to tell her to hold her appreciation until she's actually seen the gift, but he's too nervous to speak. Will she like it? Would it be considered rude if he grabbed the box from her and opened it himself, just to end his misery?

Star seems to sense his distress, so she moves a tiny bit faster. She opens the box and falls still. Marco's focused entirely on her, taking note of every reaction. There's a soft gasp, and then Star's face is lit with with happy wonder. She shifts the case to one hand, brushing the pendant with the other. He can see it glint in the bright torchlight. It really was made for her, he knows that for sure now. Star looks up, eyes bright again. He can't stop making her cry!

"This...this is just so amazing. I love it. It's perfect." Before he can react, Star dashes forward and kisses him on the cheek. His hand automatically moves to touch the spot, and Marco grins at Star. Hope flares in his chest, filling his entire body. He watches as Star lifts the pendant out of its case. It dangles on its chain. Star looks as though she's struggling not to jump up and down. And then she's uncertain.

"Put it on for me?"

This isn't the time to hesitate. Marco seizes the moment, stepping forward. Gently, he brushes her hair to one side, exposing Star's neck. He takes the pendant from her and lifts it over her head, settling it around her neck. He closes the clasp and lets it go, but can't stop himself from straightening it, his hands lingering. The two of them don't talk, standing in silence. Marco bows his head, lightly resting it on the nape of her neck. He feels her sharp intake of breath. She doesn't move away though, and he thinks maybe the wall is crumbling. It's falling, but he feels as though he's flying.

"Marco...?"

Star's wavering voice is a question and he knows it's finally time to give the answer. The right one. Not some stupid lie he made up in a misguided attempt to save their friendship. He moves to stand in front of her. Star shifts uncertainly, her hands behind her back. The pendant hangs nicely around her neck, as if it always belonged there. He was right. The blue and pink topaz butterfly fits her perfectly. He still isn't sure how it all happened, but Marco doesn't care. If it puts a look like that on her face, he'd search every corner of the multiverse to find it.

As his gaze meets hers, Marco is flooded with a mix of feelings and he's almost overwhelmed, but Star is his anchor. He gathers all the courage he can and holds out his hands. It's a tiny question of his own, and Star answers without hesitation. She places her hands in his and grasps them tight. It bolsters him, but Marco's afraid he won't find the right words.

"I'm glad you like your gift. I wanted to get you something special. This is a big day for you and..."

He falters, eyes falling to their hands. Star is silent. She's patient and calm, waiting for him.

"God, I don't know how to say this." Marco lifts his gaze to meet hers and he finds what he needs in order to take the leap.

"Star, you are the greatest part of my life. I hate every day that I don't get to see you. You're my best friend and I – I just need you to know that..."

Stuttering and stalling. He cannot jump-start his clumsy words. He pulls Star closer and reaches a hand to brush her cheek. No eighteen step plan could prepare him for this.

"When you were gone, I thought about you every day. Every hour. I know we were having some problems and that's my fault. I need to tell you this because keeping quiet is just making things worse. And I know you left for a reason, maybe not entirely for princess lessons. I get that. I really do. But I hated it. I missed breakfast burritos, Friendship Thursdays and just being with you. I know things weren't the best before you left and I want to fix that..."

Star looks like she's about to say something so he rushes on, not entirely sure he isn't rambling.

"And I want you to come home." He's not entirely sure, but he _thought_ she was considering Earth her home, at least at this point. But now she's eighteen. Will that change?

"I mean, if you don't need to stay here. I understand if you do, but I don't want it to be because of something that's happening between us. Because something _is_ and I don't know if it's just me, but I love you. Like. A lot."

 _Wooooow._ Lamest confession ever. But it's out there now and he feels an intense relief mingled with a _lot_ of embarrassment. Marco cringes inwardly and peeks at Star. She looks stunned, staring off at the wall beyond them. That's...a bad thing, right? Then she speaks.

"Wait...but what about the boat? And the rocks? I thought..."

He's confused, but dread's also settling nicely in his stomach. Because that sure as hell doesn't seem like the enthusiastic acceptance he's always dreamed of. But that's okay. They're still friends. He's determined to shelf his feelings and carry on as just friends.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same, I don't want _anything_ to ruin our frienshi-"

Star interrupts frantically.

"Oh, nonononoo! That's not it! That was something else. You-you're great. Super awesome and-"

He watches as she shakes her head. It must clear her befuddlement because Star steps closer and looks him in the eyes.

"Marco, I've loved you for like. Ever."

The Safe Kid is completely stricken. He has a crazy urge to look around for Father Time because Marco's pretty certain Star's frozen the entire universe again. She's definitely made his world stop.

He's fantasized about this moment a million different times and not in a single dream has he just stood there, saying nothing. He's always imagined himself as being smooth, having the right answer to her confession. But now he's actually here and it's really happening – and her words have taken the breath right out of him. Dream Marco's always been suave and quick with the right words. He's nothing like the dumbfounded dork he knows he's being. His face is red and he's looking at the floor. Star isn't saying anything, either. Without meaning to, he leans in closer. He can't help it. He's tired of fighting this particular gravity. Star looks up at him and he's pretty certain her eyes are the brightest blue he's ever seen. He doesn't remember telling his hand to move, but there it is: brushing away those bangs that always shield her eyes.

"Star... can I..."

One more step. She's up against the wall now and he's about to ask if he can kiss her and finally end this torture that's been going on for years. It's almost impossible to believe he has permission to be this close, to feel her breath against his cheeks. Star's hand comes to rest on his shoulder for a second, then grasps his jacket as if to pull him closer still and this is It. This is the new beginning of THEM. He closes his eyes, forehead resting against hers. Star leads him forward and then-

"Princess Star!"

With a startled gasp, the two break apart and Marco stumbles backwards. He whips around to see who's there. It's the soldier guy he saw Star with earlier. He watches as she yanks herself from the wall, straightening her dress. Her crown is crooked and Marco automatically reaches out to straighten it. He moves away and catches a look of anger that crosses the soldier's face and feels defensive. The grateful, shy smile Star gives him is a balm for his uneasiness. He's also accosted with a wave of deep disappointment and frustration. He can tell Star feels the same, and that's something at least. Marco keeps his distance as the Princess addresses the soldier. She tries to sound professional, but he can tell she's rattled.

"What's up Will- I mean. Yes, General?"

The General bows stiffly and gestures down the hall, behind the tapestry. "Queen Moon is looking for you. I believe the ceremony is about to start, my Princess."

Marco catches a glare from the guy, and he's taken aback.

"I'm to escort you back right away." The General approaches, his hand reaching out to take Star's. Marco glances at his friend, a little stricken. He still has things to say!

Star's smile remains entirely pleasant, but her arms stay at her side. "Alright, Marco and I will be right there. Thank you, General Eric."

She's definitely dismissing him and Marco can tell the guy feels insulted. But what can he do? He acknowledges the Princess's words and bows again before taking his leave. The General keeps shooting glares at Marco as he goes, but Star pretends not to notice. What is going on _there?!_ He's about to ask, but Star interrupts his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Marco. I really don't want my mom to send the whole guard after me. Can...can we continue this later?"

His heart pounds at the thought. Right now, Marco would agree to anything she asked. She shyly offers her hand and his moves automatically to accept it. As soon as they touch, an overwhelming feeling of _rightness_ flows through him. He grins like an idiot and begins leading her down the hallway. Their moment's been put on pause, but he doesn't want to stop talking.

"This party really is amazing, Star. It was great of you to invite everyone from school." He remembers Starfan13's reaction at seeing her invitation. It had taken three teachers to calm her down enough to bring her to the nurse's office.

They walk as slow as possible, stealing glances at each other.

"I'm glad! Everyone from Earth has been so nice to me. I wanted to do something to thank them."

"Every one is having such a great time. Janna's in heaven with all the magical stuff and Jackie's been going on about the food for hours."

Star stiffens suddenly and the two of them come to a halt. Marco turns to see what's up: she looks as though she's just remembered something awful.

"Star?" He questions gently, confused by the sudden doubt that overcomes him. What's going on? Where did all that happiness go? Star speaks slowly, her words glum and questioning.

"I forgot about Jackie..."

He's baffled. What about her?

"Jackie?"

"Yeah... I mean..." Her words are stiff. "Wasn't there something between you? I completely forgot...but like. You were ALL about her and now you're..." She trails off and her eyes are sad. He'd do anything to change that look on her face.

"No, no! That thing with Jackie...it was nothing. I mean, before you came to Earth, yeah. But now...it's nothing."

Star looks even more confused.

"Nothing? But you talked about her constantly! I practically had you two married in my head!" She waves her arms emphatically and Marco knows he can't lie about this: he needs to tell the truth.

"I...Star, I didn't think I had a chance with you. I thought you and I were impossible. But our friendship is the most important thing to me. I didn't want to freak you out. To ruin things between us. So I said that stuff about Jackie to take the pressure off. I've...I've loved you for years." A stupid part of him thinks he's loved her since they first hugged beneath the neon lights of that convenience store.

He's horrified as the look of confusion on Star's face slowly turns to anger.

"For _years?_ " Her voice cracks on the last word and Marco takes a step back. He can tell that General Eric is lingering just beyond the tapestry. He wants to pull Star to a more private place and she appears to read his mind, because she leads him back down the corridor. There's a dawning horror creeping over him as she slips her hand from his. He doesn't understand where her anger is coming from. It doesn't make sense. Star lets out an explosive sigh.

"Star. What's wrong?" She just glares at him, eyes filled with angry tears. How can he make that go away?! Marco offers up his defense again.

"I just didn't want to ruin us, I didn't want to make things uncomfortable."

Star's words come out in a whispered hiss that makes him fall back further.

"You loved me for YEARS? And you never SAID anything?!

"Well, no...I just – I mean... we were perfect and I didn't know how you'd take it and..." He's struggling to find the right words, an explanation that doesn't make him feel like a coward. But Star doesn't give him a chance. She's furious.

"So you didn't trust me with something like that?! We're best friends. How could you keep something so important from me?!"

How the _hell_ have things gone so wrong?! For the past half hour, Marco's felt as though he was flying. And right here is when he hits the ground. There's nothing to do but try to brace for impact. Star's anger is a force of its own but what cuts him most is the hurt he knows she feels. He never wanted that! Everything he's done has always been to keep her happy. Why is he so bad at everything?

A nasty little part of him is angry, eager to be on the defense. What about _Star?!_ As with the General, Marco can't help but feel a little defensive. It's not as though his friend is entirely innocent! Wasn't there a certain Oskar Greeson somewhere in the mix? He definitely has memories of her mooning over him! Hell, earlier she was dancing with one General William Eric! How about that?! He arms himself with words in order to fight back.

"It wasn't just me, Star! You've gone on and on about Oskar since the day you heard his awful music!"

Star bristles and a frightening glint sparks in her eyes. He's not entirely sure _why_ but Marco's suddenly certain he's said The Very Wrong Thing.

She invades his space, arms gesturing at the dance floor beyond the tapestry. "Were you paying attention out there, Marco? Did you see Oskar hanging out? Because I sure didn't! I haven't talked to Oskar in months. And I _definitely_ haven't been going "on and on" about him for years! He lives in his car at the town dump, for Corn's sake!"

Marco's entirely flummoxed and he feels the fight leave him. He's desperate to hold on to _some_ amount, anything to keep his ground in this argument. But it's hard. He thinks back, frantically searching for evidence he can fling at her. But Star's right. She _hasn't_ talked about Oskar in a long time. Hell, Marco hadn't even known the aspiring musician had dropped out of school! He was so busy keeping his heart safe, he missed the most important details!

The Safe Kid slumps, defeated. Star appears to deflate as well, adapting an earnest, heart-breaking air.

"Maybe I should have said something to you myself, Marco. I wanted to more than anything. But you talked about Jackie so much...I just couldn't do that! I was terrified of ruining everything. I wanted you in my life – in any way I could get. I was proud to be your friend, your partner in crime." A broken laugh mars her next words. "Mess-up Twins."

Marco's eyes fill and he feels as though his chest really will burst. He stares hopelessly as Star grabs his hands to pull him closer.

"We made a deal to always have each others backs. To have faith that we'd do the right thing. And you _lied._ You didn't trust our friendship enough; to believe that it could handle something like this. We could have figured it out. We _would_ have come up with something! But instead you went..." Star can't seem to say it out loud. "You went and underestimated me. You underestimated _us._ So how am I supposed to trust you now?!"

Marco desperately wants to turn the tables on Star, but knows he can't. The more she shouts the more he realizes he has no leg to stand on. He pictures himself in her position. If he had to listen to iStar/i go on about Oskar every day would he have spoken up? He knows he wouldn't have. The risk to their friendship would never be worth it. Star's absolutely right. What has he done?

Marco's pulled from his misery as Star lets his hands fall from hers. He looks up slowly, trying to catch the princess's gaze, but she avoids him. It's all he needs to know: Marco can't fix things between them. Not now. It breaks him and that makes the boy rash. He lashes out.

"What, so that's it? We can't figure things out now? You're just gonna take off with General Eric or whatever his name is and leave things like this?"

Oh, why can't he just keep his damn mouth shut? Why did he let that anger take over? His comment about Oskar was bad, but bringing the soldier into the fight is even worse. Star draws herself up, managing to loom over him. She looks wild.

"Will and I are _JUST_ friends, Marco. Like you and I. Unlike you, I don't pursue people I'm not romantically interested in." Her words hammer him back and he cowers against the opposite hall, rebuked.

"I gotta go." Star points to the end of the hall. "Big important ceremony, ya know." And this is it. He's lost her. In more ways than one. Marco can feel her slipping away. He calls for her, anything to make her come back.

"Star, wait!" He casts his plea out to her, but catches nothing. Star merely hesitates.

"I have to _go_ , Marco. My mom's waiting. We'll...we can talk later." She hurries on to where the General stands. Marco watches, heart broken. He can see that it's taking everything Star has to look composed and Princess-like. Her professional look only falters as William offers his hand again, only this time she takes it and allows him to lead her back into the ballroom.

Marco slumps against the wall as he watches her go. He knows she won't talk to him later. This was it and he blew it. The pain in chest flares once again, greeting him like an old friend. He needs to get out of here, get back home and leave all this behind.

He listens as the music slowly dies down and the crowd's excited murmurs hush. This is it. Marco rushes forward, yanking the tapestry aside and practically falls into the ballroom. He straightens his suit, fighting against the apprehension and sadness that threatens to overwhelm him. They may be fighting, but Marco refuses to miss something as important as this. He remembers the many nights Star would pace in her room, stressing over her upcoming ceremony. She was certain she'd disappoint her parents in some way, or set the ballroom on fire: something to turn the special occasion into a disaster. He'd witness her messy hair and sleepy eyes over breakfast. Marco was normally the one prone to freaking out: he was always having his Marco Moments. But when it came to dealing with her parents, Star's anxiety escalated until it all ended with a magical catastrophe and a very burnt out Princess. He'd always try to talk his friend down, but Star's insecurities over her parents were legendary.

He thinks of all of this as he watches Star cross the dais elegantly, like the Princess she's always been told to be. There's no trace of apprehension or remaining frustration on her face. She's poised and prim: she's beautiful. Marco's heart catches as his friend bows slightly to accept her new crown. When it's safely settled on her head, Princess Star Butterfly rises and addresses the cheering crowd. Marco can't believe it. This is really it. She's grown so much. They both have. But why does it mean they have to grow apart? This wasn't in any of his meticulous plans. Maybe it's selfish, but there wasn't a single scenario that didn't involve her by his side. Whether they were fighting monsters, stuffing their faces with nachos or just lazing around on the couch watching movies. Thursdays had become his favourite day of the week. Well. They were before everything imploded. But if he thinks on it now: even acknowledging the awkward silences and frustrating distances between them, he'd still take it over not seeing her at all. That had to count for something, right?

He tries to make his way to the front of the crowd, dodging the pressing bodies. But they're too tightly packed, every one seems to have the same idea. Marco struggles valiantly and finally makes it through the crowd but he's too late. Star's been whisked away by a tearful and bellowing River. He watches as the King throws an arm around her, heading for a pack of Mewmans in extremely fancy dress. He stretches to keep sight of her and at the last second, Star turns and catches his eyes. Marco's heart stutters and he's certain it stops entirely for a second or two. It sputters to a start with a throbbing pang and then she's gone: consumed by the crowd.

He doesn't remember deciding to go home. He definitely doesn't remember telling his parents goodbye. All he knows is that he ends the night in his room, alone. There's no way he can sleep, so he leaves the light on. How else would he be able to read those messages above him, over and over again? There's a point in the night when he's overcome with anger and frustration along with disappointment. But as he curls on his side, the aches slowly subside. But what comes next is worse: despair. Waves of it overcome him and he falls under, drowning. He doesn't come up for air for a long time.

Sutcliffe watches dispassionately as the runty Avarian sails across the room and crashes into the wall. _It always has to be the stupid ones._ The monster knows he shouldn't be surprised, but here he is. This just makes things so much more difficult. Sutcliffe's thrown off and it isn't a feeling he's willing to tolerate for long. It's only happened once before and back then he swore to himself: _never again._ But what is he supposed to do? The monsters are so disorganized. He doesn't understand. He knows that he's been away for a while, but where is everyone? The Underground Resistance? The idiot he's been interrogating doesn't seem to be aware of much, aside from some monsters scattered here and there. He was clearly mistaken in thinking he'd achieve any worthwhile information. Ludo (that is his name, right?) keeps ranting about an explosion at his castle and _that girl_ and living in the wild for eons. It hadn't taken a great deal of persuasion the get the runt to talk, but nothing he's babbling about is making much sense. Sutcliffe can feel himself becoming angry. Where is Toffee? Rasticore? Any of the Reptilians, for that matter!

Impatience. That is a familiar feeling. Sutcliffe clenches his fists and takes a calming breath. It won't do to let things get out of hand. If he's to succeed at all, he needs to keep calm and shove his feelings aside. This whole sordid affair happened _because_ he made the mistake of following his heart. So now is not the time. Feelings, stupid feelings. He needs to ignore them, stuff them deep within and bury them. He will not be a fool again.

Ludo moans and struggles to sit up right. The bird and spider make pathetic attempts to join his side, but it's useless. Sutcliffe rolls his eyes and strides across the room. Fine, he won't be able to find out about the Resistance. Not yet. But the girl. That is something he can benefit from. If this girl is the new wand bearer, he'll need to deal with her. He knows that particular wand is the most powerful – especially with the stupid magic man and book that comes along with it. Even with the magic leaving, the wand is a potential problem. So. The girl. He needs to figure out a way to incapacitate her. And that means learning everything he can. A small grin splits his face, jagged fangs nicking his lips. _Little Ludo_ will _be of help after all. Isn't that nice?_ Sutcliffe towers over the fallen monster, waiting for his eyes to clear a little more. Then he grabs him, shoving him against the wall once again. Ludo coughs and croaks, still disoriented. It might take a while, but Sutcliffe's willing to put in the time. He increases the pressure against Ludo's chest, smacking the runt once or twice to get his attention. When he does, his voice is velvety smooth, persuasive.

"The girl. Tell me more about her..."


	6. Chapter 6

**All We Know is Falling**

 **(There is Only You)**

The world is slowly waking up as the sky brightens on a new day. Star watches despondently from her perch on the window sill. All the guests have finally gone home and she's never been more relieved: for Star, the party ended hours ago. It was finished the second she failed to spot Marco in the crowd. He didn't say goodbye, he didn't say _anything_. He slipped away while she was held hostage by a crowd of guests. As soon as she managed to escape from her well-wishers, the princess looked for him. He was nowhere to be found. Not on the dance floor or by the punch table, not the corridors or behind any tapestry she flung aside. Finally she'd found Marco's parents and was informed of what she already knew: her friend had gone home, answering the unspoken question between them. Did he not want to work things out? Talk it over? That was their thing. It was what they were good at. Well, before things became so awful between them. But even then, they stuck together, right? No one called it quits, neither of them stopped talking and they certainly didn't put dimensions of distance between them, did they?

Star sits up sharply, gasping at the realization. Yes, they had. _She_ had. That was exactly what she'd done! Instead of mustering the courage to voice her issues, she'd stolen away to Mewni. She'd let her fear overcome her, choosing the coward's way out. Her parents even had to be the ones to let the Diaz family know of her intentions!

Is this how Marco felt? Star slumps against the sill, her arms dangling from the window. She tries breathing evenly, but it feels wrong. Sharp and painful. Like maybe her lungs will never feel right again. She thinks of the bitter distance she'd put between the two of them, the weeks of silence offered instead of _any_ rational explanation. Now that she's in Marco's shoes, Star can't believe he accepted her invitation at all! She's still mad at him, for many reasons but she can at least understand the instinct to escape.

She tries to go over last night's disaster with this new perspective.

 _When Eric offered her his hand, it took every bit of strength Star had to calmly take it and walk through that tapestry. She could feel the sharp tearing sensation in her chest, but that feeling wasn't alone. She was angry. More angry than she could ever remember being. But she figured that now was not the time to dwell on it. She'd have plenty of time to obsess over her feelings later, and then maybe the two of them could talk. Sort it out. But for now, she needed to be the proper princess her position demanded. So. A deep, calming breath here and a quick wipe of her eyes there. Plaster that smile on, reinforce it with bright eyes and set everything else aside. The two of them walked in complete silence, leaving Marco behind. Eric seemed to be aware that he'd crossed_ some _sort of line and mercifully kept his mouth shut as the two of them threaded their way through the excited guests._

 _There were a lot of speeches and boring protocol that Star didn't really pay attention to. She struggled to keep her gaze on the proceedings before her, but her eyes constantly tried to stray to the crowd in order to see whether or not Marco emerged to see The Big Moment. Not very "Princess-like" but the constant ache and longing she felt was almost impossible to ignore. Was Marco okay? She'd never felt pain this badly through the link. She wanted to reach out to him to help, but her feet remained cemented. This was her duty._

 _And what a great job she was doing! Instead of listening to important speeches about her and Mewni's future, she was surreptitiously scanning the crowd. Moon would be_ so _proud! But Star needed to be realistic. There was no way she could shelf any of her feelings for the time being. Her only option was to steel herself, drag her eyes back to the center of the dais and kneel before her parents when the time called for it._

 _And only when she was able to shake off her admirers did she allow herself to scrutinize the crowd again, looking for the one person she was terrified wouldn't be there._

As she moves back from the window and collapses on her bed, Star can't decide which she's more disappointed about. When she escaped to Mewni she resolved to take the whole princess thing seriously. She was determined to step up and work hard at her lessons. It terrified her, but becoming Queen wasn't some far-off worry anymore. It was creeping ever closer and she couldn't ignore it any longer. In the Earth Dimension it was so easy to shrug it off, a distant concern that she didn't need to focus on. But now it was here. She had her ceremony and she barely paid attention! How's that for a future Queen? She is so afraid of disappointing her parents and failing her people...but right now all she can focus on is how her relationship with her very best friend has imploded. It feels broken in a way that cannot be fixed. Star grips her chest as the link throbs in a way that feels like agreement.

* * *

Once again Star starts her day way later than a princess ought to but she thinks her mother forgives her. There are no judgmental looks at breakfast, just kind smiles. Her father seems oblivious, and that's okay. She prefers that this disaster stays between as few people as possible.

Star doesn't eat much, and her answers to her parent's questions are far from verbose. She's struggling to rise above everything like a true leader should, but all Star wants is to return to her bedroom. It's not possible, even for a downtrodden princess: she has several lessons and meetings to sit in on. She tries to drag her breakfast on for as long as possible, but eventually Moon puts an end to it and sends her on her way. This process repeats itself for several days as Star drags herself through the various hoops she's supposed to be jumping through. But there's no jump in her now, she's got nothing. She's in a slump and it shows in the droop of her shoulders, the dragging of her feet. What was once a distraction is now a prison. She wants to break free, but Star's trapped by her own melancholy. All she can do is face each day as they come, stumbling over as many obstacles as she can, plastering on a fake smile (that becomes progressively worse) when an audience calls for it. A week passes in fits and bursts and the princess can only find solace in the few hours she manages to sleep.

* * *

After what feels like eight million meetings in only a few days, Star once again finds herself slumped in her lesson room. She's got her trusty pillow and Glossaryk is floating around and being his cryptic self. Like extra cryptic. It's on a whole new level and Star just wishes she could grab that smug jerk and shake all of his secrets out of him. She's never been a fan of his tendency to hold back the Important Information. And disaster with Marco aside, Star is well aware that the castle is preparing for something BIG. Something that Glossaryk's Important Information could really help with. But he's being stupid and puzzling as usual. She struggles to listen and keeps her hands busy by clutching the pillow in order to keep herself from punching her mentor.

Once again he's babbling on about things she's not entirely grasping and today it's more frustrating than usual. She's a mess and she's afraid of coming undone. But Glossaryk doesn't care. He never does. She's not entirely sure he cares about anything other than magic, pudding; and his stupid secrets.

"Sooo, Princess. Now that I'm sure you've grasped _that_ concept, let's move on to something else!"

Damn it! She _hadn't_ understood what he was saying _and_ she figured their lesson would end after one long and boring lecture! Star struggles to set aside the deep melancholy that has settled in her bones and turns her eyes to him. Her head is squished into the table, but she's paying attention.

"Now, let's talk about things and emotions!"

Star gapes. What is this, some kind of Earth Health class? She's ready to scramble back and make an escape, but Glossaryk's keeping a close eye on her. She has no choice but to submit and go along.

"Okay, Glossaryk. Hit me with your best stuff."

As if she could handle anything more, but whatever. He's the All-Knowing Being, not her. The little magic man shrugs and continues on.

"It's very simple, Star. Feelings give things meaning. And the more powerful the feelings, the greater meaning. Your wand is a perfect example. It has been the most cherished heirloom of the Butterfly Dynasty for generations. A single item, given so much respect and care."

Star gazes at her wand, a little ashamed she has to stop gnawing on it in order to do so. The wand has always been the most important possession any Butterfly could have. She remembers watching eagerly whenever her mother waved the elegant instrument through the air to deal with any problem. She had counted down the days until her fourteenth birthday. Sometimes even the hours. With all that emotion, just how powerful could the wand be? She blinks and turns to scrutinize Glossaryk.

"So the wand's powerful. I mean. It always has been. That's why people keep trying to steal it."

Glossaryk floats slowly by.

"Yes! It certainly _is_ something worth stealing! But so are many other things, you see. Every one has a special some _thing_. And even the things other might not care about: a favourite pair of socks, a lucky hat or something that was given to them by someone very special."

His words have suddenly become very specific and Star knows this is the important part of the lesson. She's just not sure she's willing to understand the implications. She tries to put distance between her teacher, but he floats close anyway.

"That's a real nice bauble you have there, Princess."

Star's hand moves up to grasp the pendant that hung around her neck. She hadn't taken it off. Of course she hadn't! Marco gave it to her and it meant so much! She manages to compose herself and pushes away the feeling in her chest.

"Thanks. Uh, it was a gift. You know. For the big day." She lets it drop back to her chest.

Glossaryk's lessons have always been convoluted and _somehow_ related to the things going on in her life. And they've also been helpful...in some way, usually too late. And she's been fine with that. But lately these lessons have been a little too pointy and she's afraid of nicking herself. She's fine with the more relatable content, but he's clearly aiming for every sore spot she has...and right now there are a lot. What makes it worse is at the end of every one of these sessions, she's left with a complex and a half-solved riddle! What can she do with that?! She knows that something is coming, but with everyone keeping their mouths shut, how is she supposed to prepare? Is this even about her, or is Glossaryk just torturing her?

"I haven't seen it before, but you seem awfully fond of it." He floats closer to examine it, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, okay. Marco gave it to me. Things aren't...right with us right now. But yes, it's important to me." She holds it carefully, watching it as it sparkles in the light. Her next words are soft. "I love it."

So easy and uncomplicated to say that to an item.

"It means so much to you and you've only had it for..." He looks at his wrist, which definitely does not have a watch. "Six days and 20 hours. That quickly. Your love for it gives it a kind of power. Maybe not against someone else, but certainly with you. And _that_ is something you should take into consideration...and remember."

He moves away, offering that stupid mysterious smile. Star's not sure what to say. There are a few phrases on the tip of her tongue, but all of them would get her in trouble. All she can do it let out an explosive sigh and roll her eyes hard enough she's surprised they stay in her head. She knows it's pointless to request clarification. Asking for information is a surefire way to make Glossaryk even more insufferable than usual. So fine. She'll just stick with her ignorance and trust that the adults in her life know what's best for her. They've never steered her wrong, have they?

In any case, Star's made a promise to herself. Since she won't be returning to Earth any time soon, she's determined to act more proper and mature. And the first step of that is knowing when to admit defeat. She won't waste any time prying for information, she'll just keep her mouth shut and trust her parents. She's had a bad track record with trust lately and the princess knows she can do better. So when Glossaryk waves her away at the end of the lesson, she merely grits her teeth and leaves the room. It takes a lot for her to swallow her frustration, but it sits nicely with all of the other feelings she's been setting aside the last few months. Still...she can't help but think that a lot of trouble can be avoided if people just decided to be honest from the beginning. Her own experience is still fresh and painful to recall. The King and Queen could probably benefit from the same lesson. But her resolve is strong.

* * *

It begins to warp and bend a little as Star's treated to a long and truly _awful_ lecture about safety at dinner. For once there are no guest and it's just the three of them dining together...as well as around a million guards. At one point Will catches her eye and winks, but it only manages to calm Star for a few minutes. So much for being mature. But she just can't help herself. If her parents are going to preach on and on about safety and keeping her eyes open, the least they can do is tell her _what_ she's supposed to be on the look out for! She's sick of being treated like an adult one moment and then a tiny little kid the next. All it takes is that stern tone and immediately Star feels as though once again she's the oldest child stuck at the kiddie table. She wants to be good and proper like she's supposed to be, but how can she do that while her parents treat her as though she's a five-year old crashing Warnicorns through the castle grounds? What hurts most though is that she can't help but believe that her parents just don't have confidence in her. They don't believe she's able to deal with whatever is coming at them.

"Look Star, you just have to trust that we have the best intentions here. It isn't something we need to go into detail over, but you _must_ be alert in general. We are more than happy to have you home right now, but we didn't expect it so now certain precautions must be taken. We cannot risk any vulnerability!"

Star opens her mouth to argue further. She's pretty sure ignorance is a _huge_ vulnerability so she just can't understand her mother's reluctance. Her attempts at speaking fall on deaf ears as Moon continues on.

"Now, that's enough of that business alright? We wouldn't be having this issue if Marco was here. He would have known when to sit tight and listen!"

The Princess falls back in her chair, stung. That was well below the belt...and so completely wrong. Marco would have helped her. If things were right between them, he would have helped lead the charge! Once again, Moon is proving just how ruthless she is when it comes to Star's safety. It takes the wind out of the princess's sails and Star shuts up,only opening her mouth in order to angrily chew her meal. There's no sense in pushing any further, the King and Queen have spoken. Star finishes her meal and then requests permission to head back to her rooms. It takes everything in her power now to scream when she's forced to take an escort.

* * *

Star needs to escape. Dinner has been over for a few hours and the castle walls are closing in on her. She's laying in her bed, staring at the ceiling and suddenly being inside is unbearable. For a fleeting moment, she figures she'll just grab Marco for a quick portal adventure. Then she remembers. She can't go anywhere with her partner in crime. And even if they were talking, would she be allowed to go adventuring? The princess is fairly certain her parent's answer would be a resounding no. The best she can get out of them is a short walk around the castle grounds. It really is better than nothing, but Star balks when she's forced to take a guard along with her. She seriously doubts that a soldier can protect her better than her wand, but Star's tired of arguing. She's just plain tired. If it means she can escape the closing walls for even a little while, she'd let Rich Pigeon escort her.

Instead of Rich though, Star is met in the entrance hall by Will. Star pauses on the stairs, a little torn. He _is_ better than a regular soldier, and definitely an improvement over Rich. But ever since her party, Will's been acting weird. She's still annoyed with his behaviour in front of Marco, but her guilt over their friendship holds her back from saying anything. She's been fighting with everyone lately, it would be nice to keep _one_ friendship intact. So when Will bows and greets the princess with all the decorum his position dictates, Star smiles graciously.

"Good evening, General. Thanks for doing this. I feel like I'm going to go crazy in here."

Will smiles and moves to open the door. They can't stray far from the castle's boundaries, but that's okay. It's enough to quell Star's anxieties for the moment and right now even a tiny reprieve means everything.

The two start off in silence, and Star can only focus on her feet as they move across the grass, crunching through the frost. The soldier goes to lead Star down a marked trail, but she opts for the the rougher, less travelled one. Her old friend smiles at this before following her lead. Whatever that means. It seems to open the way for communication though because before long, Will's talking.

"I just wanted to apologize for the other night, Princess. I acted unprofessionally and that was wrong of me. Please forgive my transgression." Star isn't impressed. She hates the formal speech he's using and she can't stand being called Princess. Not by him. She has a name, why can't people use it?! She knows that there's a protocol, that etiquette is super important and all that crap. And maybe she's gotten used to being treated different while on Earth because lately, being back on Mewni has become less like an escape and more of a trial. She's sick of being talked down on, she's tired of being talked up. It's all supposed to be an acknowledgement of her rank, to show her status as a Very Important Person. But to Star, it's always made her feel like less of a person and more of a figurehead. A symbol. She can tolerate it when at Court or during important meetings. But when it's just her and her friends? She hates it so much.

"Will, why were you _being_ like that? I know my mom sent you to get me, but you could clearly see that Marco and I were trying to deal with something. Why couldn't you let us finish? And why were you so _mean_ to him? Marco was-is my friend. And _no one_ treats my friends like that!"

Will seems to shrink back even further and she hopes he realizes that she isn't just speaking as a member of the Royal Family. She's speaking as a friend whose feelings are deeply hurt. To her, that carries more weight. It seems as though Will agrees, he leads the two of them to a bench at the center of a small garden. She sits first and it takes some convincing to get Will to join her. It takes an enormous amount of patience for Star to keep herself from making a scene , although she does roll her eyes plenty. She knows that the difference in their status has been drilled into her childhood friend's brain, but it's just the two of them. Does he honestly think she's gonna go tattle to the King and Queen?

"I really am sorry, Princ-Star. I messed up. I thought I was okay with everything that's happened between us...but I just saw you two. And it felt like he was the reason you never wrote, or visited ever...and I got jealous. I used to be the one you looked for in the crowd to talk to. Me or Pony Head, at least. And now you've got someone else...and I didn't handle it well."

Star shakes her head, frustrated.

"Will, me being a bad friend has nothing to do with Marco. That was all me, just sucking. If anything, Marco would have given me hell for not writing you if he knew. He's very dedicated when it comes to correspondence." She'd know. Star has a box of his letters tucked safely beneath her bed. The amount of times she's taken them out to read is embarrassing.

"You need to be angry with me, not Marco. I did get caught up in everything on Earth, I got caught up in him and that's _my_ fault. You deserve a better friend and I haven't been that. I'm sorry."

Will shrugs. "Okay, I'll be mad at you. Furious, even." His scolding words are undermined by a smile. Star leans in and gives her friend a hug.

"I'll be better, I promise. I'm a mess right now, and I've screwed a lot of stuff up." She shifts her way down the bench, sighing. Between her fight with Marco and all the secretive stuff her parents and Glossaryk are throwing at her, Star can't find herself on steady ground. She knows that the inter-dimensional fritz is a disaster waiting to happen, but she can't make herself focus on finding a solution. All she can think about is her birthday and her own personal catastrophe.

"It's okay, Star. Every one messes up. Even princesses. But don't worry, I know you'll fix things." Star looks up and catches his reassuring smile. She can't quite muster one of her own.

"I really messed up with Marco. Or he messed up with me. Either way, he probably hates me now and I've lost one of my best friends."

Will surprises her by laughing. Star's head shoots up and she glares at him. An awful part of her wants to grab her wand and blast him across the garden. She's about to let him have it, but Will speaks first.

"Star, I've seen you two together. I saw the way you look at him and the way he's always looking for you. Friendship or more, I don't think it's a bond that can be so easily broken. You guys have something special." Will's smile becomes sad, a little bitter. "If you take a little time, you'll be able to work things out. Just...promise me that you won't forget everyone else when you do. I know it's easy to lose yourself in someone...but we all need you, okay?"

Star's speechless. She shifts on the bench to face her friend. It's been years since they've talked like this, and he still manages to say exactly the right thing. It never fails. She knows she has a lot of difficult choices and obstacles on her way to becoming Queen, but it helps knowing she has someone like Eric on her side.

She reaches out and grabs his hand, clasping it tightly. "Thank you, Will. That means...everything."

He smiles broadly, bowing his head. The two of them sit like that for a moment or so, before they let their hands drop and prepare to stand. She's about to ask him how he enjoyed the rest of her party when a voice pierces the night.

"How very sentimental! It just warms my heart."

The drawling voice freezes Star's blood, sending a chill down her spine. She's never heard it before, but every instinct tells her the owner is trouble. She jumps from the bench, looking frantically for its source.

"Who's there?!" Star tries to sound as forceful as possible, but a waver blows her cover. She hears Will jump to his feet, his armour clanging as he draws his sword. Star reaches for her wand and moves to block Will's advance. Guard or not, nothing's better than her wand. She ignores his cry of protest and silences him with a glare. When she turns back, it's to see that the culprits have moved away from the shadows. The arm blocking Will goes limp when she takes in the scene. She can't make sense of it. First she sees Ludo: but there's something wrong with him. His appearance makes her gasp. She's seen him battered after she and Marco have beaten him. And she's definitely seen him defeated. But this is something entirely different. He's standing a little ways behind a cloaked figure. She knows immediately that he isn't the threat, but she can't pull her eyes off him. Both of his eyes are black and swollen almost shut. His eyes are cast to the ground and she can see dried blood at the corners of his mouth.

Only a few seconds have passed, and Star tears her gaze from the battered monster. The one who spoke is tall, their giant figure adorned in a huge black and tattered cloak. She squints, hand grasping her wand tightly. Whoever it is has pulled their hood forward so Star can't distinguish any facial features. Just two eyes and their gaze take the breath straight from her. They burn brightly, two white holes rimmed with the blackest of black. And they're focused right on her. She knows she needs to move, do something to fight this intruder off, but her feet are rooted to the ground. She can't seem to force herself into action. She manages to speak, though.

"Ludo! What the heck is goin' on?!" Ludo's always monologuing away, she can normally count on him to accidentally explain the situation. But the small monster is silent, turning away. Somehow, that's what scares her most. She regards the cloaked figure again. "Whoever you are, you need to _GO._ Pack up your creepiness and get out of here before I blast you into next week!" She raises her wand and aims it at his chest. For almost a minute, all four of them are completely silent. Then, just as Star's about to unleash her magic, a soft and gargling laughter emits from the stranger's hood. Her mouth falls open. It makes her think of rotten, damp things in sewers. It's definitely a sound she doesn't want to hear ever again. Then the words come.

"I'm not interested in fighting. I'm barely even interested in you, Star Butterfly. You are just an inconvenience. Nothing in the grand scheme of things, but I need to take care of you anyway. Now say goodbye."

 _What?!_ Her arms shudder and she's about to yell a spell but then the monster waves his arm, something glinting in his hand. There's a flash of red light and she feels Eric move to push her out of harm's way, but it's too late. She's hit by a blast and then everything is on fire and it feels as though her bones are rotting inside her and this needs to end _now, please make this go away..._ And then nothing.

Everything goes black.


	7. Chapter 7

**Tuned To Radio Silence**

 **(Where Your Heartache Exists)**

Marco's an absolute disaster. The kind of wreck people strain their neck in order to witness as they drive by on the highway. He barely sleeps and he can't be bothered to talk to anyone other than his parents. But even those conversations are punctuated with long silences. He tries to pay attention and actually act human, but his mind is constantly wandering to Mewni.

There are bags beneath his eyes, large enough carry all the emotional crap he's struggling to ignore.

His chest is a constant, throbbing ache. Instead of hating it, Marco embraces the pain, certain it's a connection to Star. He spends his days in Star's room, desperate to keep the magic of the past locked in. The puppies tangle themselves in his feet and he moves only for them. They need their walks.

He's frustrated that he's so torn up over this, that he feels as though his future is ruined. But it isn't just the romantic aspect he's lost: it's his very best friend in the world. He needs her magic in his life. He needed _her._ Who was he going to make nachos for? Who was he going to spend his nights talking to, watching as the stars overtook the sky? And what about him? She's saved him just as many times, quick to get him into a disaster but just as swift to help him get out.

Marco used to panic when he thought of his future. He'd never been able to choose his balloon. After Star it was impossible to think of living a normal life on Earth. He wanted to immerse himself in the magic and culture of Mewni. Learn to fight again. Reunite with Nachos. He misses his dragoncycle. The laser puppies are good company, but Nachos went through trial and fire with him.

If he goes to Mewni, he can do a million things there, all of them more appealing than growing old on Earth. And in all of these scenarios, he's been with Star, every step of the way. Sure, he imagined them as a couple but most importantly she was there as his friend and confidant. And he'd help her in any way he could.

Marco knows it can be unhealthy to think of himself as just a half of a pair. But to him it makes perfect sense. They are just better together. Like cheese and nachos: pretty decent alone, but combined they become something wonderful. He knows that eventually he might be fine on his own. Given enough time any one could. But he didn't want to be. They were Marco and Star. Instead of running away, he should have stuck around. He _should_ have done the grown-up thing and talked it out. But emotions always feel amplified when they're together. It's difficult to think clearly, to make the right decisions. Now that he's managed some distance, common sense has returned. And it feels a little too late. What a surprise. So this is what he does. He continues to mope. He continues to keep isolated and he continues to _hate_ himself.

His mother allows this routine to continue for almost a week. But when she knocks on Star's door on the sixth day, he knows that she's had enough. Angie makes her way into the room, shaking her head as she realizes he's been sitting in the dark. She flicks on the light and Marco winces as he's blinded, shrinking further into the safety of his blanket. He's made himself a sort of nest by the window, beneath the picture of the sailor he swears spoke to him once. Marco's vaguely aware of how pathetic this all is, but he just can't make himself step out of the situation enough to do anything about it. So he stews in his misery quietly, a dark cloud that localizes itself in the corner of a room. Until his mom interferes. She's always been like that. Marco's parents could definitely be called negligent in more than a few ways. They've always kept a distance, sometimes a little too lost in themselves. He's always had the exchange students to keep him company and it was usually enough. But sometimes when things got a little too difficult, when he really struggled his mother would be there. He knows a lot of kids would resent an absentee parent showing up out of nowhere to dole out advice, but Angie's words have often been just what he needed.

His mother makes her way over to his nest, keeping silent as she slides down the wall to sit next to him. Marco lets out a dramatic sigh, pulling the blanket away from his face. The puppies are tumbling over themselves in order to get pets from their unexpected visitor, yipping and slobbering everywhere. He smiles as they finally manage to line themselves up in order to receive Angie's attention. Marco knows that she's focusing more on them in order to give him space to speak up. She probably already knows exactly what's going on and what he's done. Apparently the only ones clueless about their situation are Star and Marco themselves. If his usually oblivious parents know what's up, then he and Star _really_ have had their heads in the sand. In any case, his mom waits to hear it from him. This way the two of them are able to cut right to the problem in order to work on a solution. But right now, he can't offer much in the way of details. Just a frustrated groan and mumbled confession from between his fingers.

"I screwed everything up, Mom." He pulls at his hair in frustration, letting his hands fall into his lap. He can't look his mother in the eye, although he knows she'd never judge him. He's too busy doing that to himself.

When he doesn't elaborate, Angie probes for more information.

"Oh, Marco. Tell me what happened." These sessions really have been a safe place to say anything, but it never seems to make confessing any easier. Marco's often been told that he's too hard on himself, but this time he feels as though his self reprimands are justified.

"I was selfish, little and mean. I let stupid doubts get the best of me and lashed out when I should have just kept my mouth shut." He's had plenty of time to go over that night: every stupid accusation and heated exchange. But Marco's mess-ups don't originate there. He knows both of them made a lot of mistakes over the last year. He's just not sure what he would have done differently. He hated the idea of hurting his friend and yet it had happened anyway!

"But even before that. Things have been...weird between us for a while now." He struggles to gather his thoughts, casting them back to when everything became so strained. It's difficult to come up with the right word in order to describe just how awful things became between them. And now that he's armed with the knowledge that Star's felt the very same way, every one of his friend's reactions take on a new meaning. The strained silences, how hurt she looked sometimes. It shouldn't matter, it definitely shouldn't make a difference: either way, he was still hurting her. But he can't deny it. He's had enough of that sort of behaviour. All he can do now is be honest with himself and try to find the best way to fix everything. It feels a little hopeless, but he's got help.

The Diaz family has played host to a multitude of different exchange students over Marco's lifetime. He's always enjoyed the company, never having issues with any specific person. In fact, the only one he's ever wanted kicked out is Star herself! They didn't have the best start, that was true. And now he can't imagine how boring his life would be had she not come crashing through his door. They've had just as many girls as boys stay here and romantic feelings have never been an issue. There had been that one instance with an exchange student, a fleeting moment caught forever behind a frame. Her name was Daniella and he'd only discovered she liked him days before she left. The Diaz family always took a commemorative photo with each student before they left. Marco had been closer to Daniella than he had any other student, but romance was never on his mind. He'd always been so focused on his karate and the steps needed to achieve that next belt. But when Daniella leaned over at the last second and kissed his cheek before the camera flashed...well, that had been something. For the next two days he'd been a stammering, stuttering mess. He's certain that his young self hadn't managed to utter a single complete sentence for the rest of Daniella's stay. After she was all packed and headed for her home in Belgium, there was a conference at the kitchen table with his mom. She gave him ice cream and the two of them discussed how Daniella made him feel. She explained a great deal of other things (and Marco still turns red at the thought of it a million years later) and Marco had begun eating his ice cream so fast he'd given himself horrible brain freeze. He had another ache as well, feeling empty as the absence of his friend hit him. But it wasn't as painful as the one in his head – this one felt a little different. A little hopeful. As though it carried a great deal of potential within it. He never saw Daniella again, but thought of her now and then, especially when Star would prod him for details. She signified the start of growing up. A time when karate and beating video games with Alfonso and Ferguson were no longer the most important things in his life. That school year his interest in Jackie grew into something more. That alone called for many late-night kitchen conferences. His mom always helped. The elder Diaz's could often be lost in their own world, but they always found their way back to him when he needed it most.

And so here they are. The biggest conference of them all. Marco knows the stakes are higher than ever. But they have time, right? He could still fix this. He took a few wrong steps (hell, they both did!) but now his head is on straight. Or it will be, after his mom gets through with him. So as his mother asks for more details, Marco spills the beans. Everything just comes flying out: the day he realized he loved her, his misguided attempt to stay as "just friends," the awful distance between them and then the times when they were so close he thought he'd go crazy. How awful he felt when it looked as though Star left for good, and then the insane happiness he experienced when she invited him to the party again...then the party itself. His freaking stupid mistakes and finally his asinine escape back to Earth. It feels as though he's throwing up the poison that was killing him. With every word that flies from his mouth, Marcos a tiny bit better. So he continues until there is nothing else to say and he's empty. Left with nothing but the sharp ache in his chest. He ha a feeling that no amount of word vomit is going to make _that_ go away. He tells her his motive and the reasoning behind everything. That he didn't want to hurt her, make things weird between the two of them. The way he censored himself to keep Star comfortable. He wants his mother to know he had the greatest of intentions. He'd been so stubborn with that, refusing to let them go. It was during this part his mother's appearance changes from concern to something oddly earnest.

For a minute all she can say is "Oh, Marco."

Oh Marco, what?! You complete and utter buffoon? This is supposed to be a judgment free zone, but he's starting to feel very judged indeed. His mother must see this, because suddenly she's rushing to explain herself. "Sometimes...we try to do the right thing and somewhere along the way you end up accomplishing the very opposite." His mother shifts against the wall, sliding into a more comfortable position. She's playing with Barco Diaz's ears and the puppy looks as though he's in heaven. But to Marco, there is only one thing that matters. He's glued to his mother's every word.

"I think it's amazing you wanted to protect your friendship. There are a lot of people who would try to take advantage of a situation like that in order to get what they wanted. I'm so proud you tried to put Star's feelings first."

Marco can't appreciate the praise his mother is offering. He doesn't deserve it. He also knows that a very big _"however"_ is coming. All he can do is brace himself.

"I know you had the best intentions, but it's important for you to know: you _will_ hurt Star at some point. More than once. And she'll hurt you." Marco flinches, eyes wide. He wants to deny this, cut her off. Listen to her take back those words. But Angie is inexorable. She powers on.

"It's unavoidable, Marco. Especially when you're as inseparable as you and Star were. You two will step on each other's toes. You won't always agree one hundred percent." His mother gently pushes Barco away and turns to her son. "And that's okay. That's life. It just _cannot_ be a healthy relationship if the two of you spend it walking on eggshells! You both have very strong personalities...and er...interesting ways of expressing them. As long as you two aren't deliberately trying to hurt each other, you'll be okay. But this is important, Marco. Look at me." He'd been trying to hide his face under the blankets, as though they can act as a buffer against the truths she's offering. But she's calling him out on it and now he has no choice but to pay close attention.

" _You need to stick around and talk it through._ You can't just run away from something like that, Marco. You can take a little space if you need it in order to gather yourself...but running away entirely, that's what does the most damage. It's hard to come back from something like that."

Marco bows his head, wrapping the blanket even more tightly around him. How could he and Star mess up so badly? Well, okay. He knew why. It was obvious. Because they kept their mouths shut and didn't say anything! They had wasted so much time avoiding the things that really mattered. It's frustrating and the knowledge makes him want to bash his head against a wall. But he knows there has to be more time. The two of them can make it. She's always been his choice. Being by her side is what makes him feel like he's at home. And he remembers the look in her eyes back at the castle. Right before William interrupted. He knew that she'd made the same decision as him. So if he was able to get his head out of his ass, maybe he could do some good.

"Thanks, mom." His voice is a bit raspy from little use and the words crack. Angie just smiles and reaches over to hug her son.

"It's what I do, Marco. You're my son. And I'll support you no matter your decision." He knows that she isn't just talking about being with Star. She's talking about everything: leaving Earth, giving up any future he might have had in this dimension...and leaving them. Marco hugs her back, holding on tightly.

It's a little while later and Marco's managed to put himself together enough to take the puppies for a long walk. It's an easier task because he knows he won't run into anyone that will want to talk to him. No one wants to deal with the laser puppies. Plus he's taken to walking them in the woods. He's learned that they get so caught up in sniffing the various scents that they seem to forget they have laser eyes. And there's only been _one_ disaster. Which was totally okay because that tree was dying already so the firemen can say whatever they want.

He loves walking in the forest. Whenever he's there, the atmosphere gives him the same feeling he gets in the Dojo. A deep sense of calm and peace. He loves listening to the birds in their world above them, flitting from branch to branch, talking to each other. The trees sway in the breeze and he's positive that if he listens hard enough, he can hear that they have their own language as well. He used to think thoughts like that were a little too silly to voice out loud. But now that he knows the universe is a hell of a lot bigger than he originally thought...well, anything's possible.

The feelings in his chest aren't too unbearable. There's a small sense of frustration and restlessness, but he figures the magic of his forest will take of that soon enough.

Pine needles crunch beneath his shoes and he smiles as the puppies try to dash forward, kicking them up in their wake. Marco takes a deep breathe of fresh air and looks around. It's the first time in a while that he's felt like this. Like he was going to be okay. He listens to the snuffles and barks of the pups as they frantically attempt to smell every single thing in the whole forest. It reminds him of how he used to be so excited on their family camping trips. When he was young, he needed to know what every single thing was. Not just for identification, but also for safety reasons. You can't protect yourself against the unknown. But aside from his over cautious tendencies, camping was pure fun for the Diaz kid. Whether he was camping with just his parents or an exchange student or two, Marco looked forward to their trips every year. But it was with Star that he loved going the most. How could he not? He was a sucker for any one interested to learn what he knew about the forest and the safety precautions involved. And was she ever! Star wanted to know every little thing. She definitely didn't care about the factual tips on safety, but with everything else she was enamoured. It was like being a little kid and discovering everything for himself on his very first trip. He loved and appreciated her enthusiasm. And it was true: Star was normally the one showing him all the amazing things: she literally opened a whole new world to him. And sure, he got to explain new things to her on Earth...but it was usually boring stuff like rules and that no, the Band Conductor was _not_ a wizard, even though he has a beard and what appears to be a wand. And no, she can't challenge him to a magical duel because...well, you just don't do that. So when he got to show Star something that had a lot of magic for him, and to have her appreciate it as much as he did, it felt nice.

As he walks, Marco remembers a night of his most favourite camping trip.

 _Star knew a lot more this time around, but there were still things he could teach her. The two of them had managed to build a decent bonfire. She'd even let him teach her how to do it without magic. His parents had sauntered off to the springs (and he still cringed when remembering the gleeful way the elder Diazes announced it) and the two were alone. He decided that it was paramount that Star try the greatest camping food in existence: S'mores. He hadn't the pleasure of teaching her about the treat their previous trip: River had insisted on catching_ all _of their meals for the rest of their time outdoors. He'd declared himself a master of the wilderness and brought them back mostly wild boars. For every single meal. His parents were game for anything, so they were delighted. As for Marco and Star – well, the two of them had been so flustered over River's constant comments about their relationship that the two of them had spent the days as stuttering messes. So this second trip was to make up for all of that. River was no where to be seen and his parents were long gone. It was just the two of them and the fire that crackled merrily before them._

 _It was after he'd discovered his feelings for her but before he'd made so many rules involving distance. He was still astounded over the fact that he loved his very best friend and jumped at any chance to make her happy. He loved earning Star's smiles. She was an immensely cheerful person, but Marco had learned that there was a special smile she had when he really outdid himself, especially for her. Marco was certain he could catalogue her every different smile, but this one was his favourite. It made him feel as though the sun was shining on him and him only. So that was his motive when he produced the ingredients from the (bear-proof) container tucked against the log they were sitting on and exclaimed:_

" _Star Butterfly. Prepare your taste buds for the greatest campfire treat in existence!" He flourished the bright coloured packages in front of his friend. Star's eyes lit up and she clapped her hands rapidly. She let out a squeal of excitement._

" _Eeeeee, gimme gimme!" The princess held her hands out for Marco's bounty, snatching them up greedily when he didn't hand them over quickly enough._

" _You are gonna_ love _these." And she most certainly did. There was a bit of difficulty when his friend seemed more interested in eating the ingredients separately instead of waiting for the completed treat but with a little bit of coaching she eventually got the hang of it. He sharpened the end of their sticks while Star squished the bag of marshmallows. The two of them had gone searching for the perfect skewers just before the light faded and aside from an unforgettable encounter with a particularly standoffish squirrel, it went off without a hitch. Now he handed Star hers, already loaded with a marshmallow. He prepared his own and then explained. "So we want to cook these enough that they melt the chocolate we're gonna put on the cracker. Then we'll top it off with_ another _cracker and it'll make the greatest sandwich in all known dimensions!"_

 _Star looked a little doubtful for a second and a little guilty. He knew she was thinking of the sandwich they'd pilfered from that monster's insides. His stomach twisted a little at the reminder of their biggest fight, but he was able to shake it off and remain enthusiastic._

" _Trust me, Star." Apparently she did, because she still followed his lead and swung her stick around to place it over the flames. He was feeling quite happy with himself and the prospect of that smile. Then Star seemed to get confused or impatient because she suddenly thrust the stick into the middle of the fire, squishing the marshmallow against the burning logs._

" _Woah there, not like that!" He hastily placed his own against their log and rescued Star's. Marco carefully pulled the flaming marshmallow toward him and blew it out in order to inspect the damage done. He didn't mind his marshmallows a little crisp, but this was definitely beyond saving. Star look looked devastated as he discarded her mistake._

" _It's okay, here." He handed his over, sitting Star's aside. "You just need to be a bit more careful, keep the stick in the fire but not against anything. Like this." Without thinking, Marco slid down the log to be closer. He put his hand over hers, directing the marshmallow into the flames. He both felt and heard Star's sharp intake of air, suddenly aware of just how close they were. Their legs were against each other as well as most of their sides. Marco was certain that he'd be just as hot without the fire. But he couldn't pull back now, or she'd think something was up. Besides, Marco was fairly sure Star would move away if she didn't like how close they were. It still felt insanely cliche: he may as well be teaching her how to golf! As silly as he felt, Marco couldn't quite make himself move even a little bit._

 _The two kept silent, their gazes on the fire as the marshmallow cooked. Marco wasn't able to talk, he was too busy feeling too many things at once. This was the first time the two of them had been this close together since he realized he loved her. It was almost overwhelming. For a few seconds he thought he forgot how to breathe. Although he loved every bit of contact between the two of them, Marco was a_ little _relieved when the marshmallow was a nice and crisp brown. The second he moved closer the entire atmosphere had become a little intense. It probably had only taken a minute to cook, but the teenager was certain time had stopped completely. He caught the eager glint in Star's eyes and knew it was time to bring about the finale._

 _Marco had to remind her not to eat the marshmallow just yet as he grabbed the rest of the ingredients. He tried to make the whole thing seem ceremonious, and his enthusiasm was contagious: Star could not sit still. Finally, he presented the prize to his friend: a perfectly melted S'more, just for her. Star accepted it, her eyes wide and eager. Marco expected her to eat it whole (she had a tendency to scarf down most meals with little care) but to his surprise, Star took a small bite. She was silent for a few seconds, chewing thoughtfully. And then her smile let lose and set fire to his heart._

" _These are AMAZING, Marco!" Star quickly finished her treat, bouncing up and down on the log. Marco was jostled aside, but he didn't care. He was still a little starstruck. He was roused from his daze by an insistent demand for more S'mores, and of course he had to oblige._

 _The two of them spent hours in front of the fire (Star's stomach was bottomless when it came to sugary treats), talking and laughing. Marco knew that the two of them had a lot to deal with in the future: Star's return to Mewni, his own decisions about his life...but right there in that moment, things were perfect. He nudged Star to let her know her marshmallow was burning and wished that nights like this could last forever._

Marco's steps have all but halted. He's still lost in his memories, slowly emerging from his daydream. That was the last time they went camping. He shuffles his feet and ruminates on that, but quickly realizes that the puppies are a little too far ahead. Marco rushes to catch up, thoughts of forest fires chasing away any remaining thoughts of Star, her smile and bonfires. By some miracle, they haven't done any damage. They're too busy investigating a tree. A chipmunk chatters angrily from a branch a ways up. Its incensed yammering makes his stomach twist a little and pulls at his heart. He's thinking of another angry forest rodent. He knows it's only a matter of time before the lasers make an appearance. It's time to leave. Marco corrals the wiggling and yipping monsters, snapping their leashes in place. They allow him to turn them around, and Marco heads home. They're leaving, but he's still able to find a little peace among the towering redwoods.

It's later than he estimated when they get home. As he and the puppies pile out of the car, Marco can't help but pause and admire the sun as it slides beneath the horizon. The sky's a swirl of pinks and blues and he just knows Star would love it. A cool wind blows through his hair and he turns to lock the door, struggling to keep the dogs from making a dash for freedom. He'd gotten his license as soon as he was able, a fact Star was awfully jealous of. She desperately wanted her own. It was made a little difficult when the DMV discovered she was from another dimension and therefore didn't have a Social Security number, but they managed to finagle a solution. And while the DMV was happy to be paid off in _that_ department, they apparently weren't willing to overlook Star's driving style. She managed to pass the written test after a few frustrating over-nighters and a lot of hair pulling. But when she was behind the wheel, she became a hazard. Any time something interesting caught her eye, Star seemed to forget that she was in control of over a tonne of metal. Her interest went in one direction and the car would follow every time. Even when it headed for a person with puppies or a flower stand with bright and distracting colours. After several crashes, her instructor declared her an "official menace" and that was that. Star was regulated to be a passenger only. She'd declared defiantly that riding Warnicorns was much cooler anyway, but Marco always noticed a certain look that would flit across her face every time they took the car out.

He makes his way to the house, smiling ruefully. They aren't Star, but the puppies _are_ pretty good passengers. Ear licking aside. He pushes the door open and kneels down to unhook each puppy from their leash. He expects them to tear off in order to destroy something, but it seems as though their long walk has taken its toll. They slowly trudge into the kitchen for a drink, and Marco's certain he'll be hearing them snore in no time. He's pretty tired himself. He's not sure how that's possible. The walk was long, but all he's done is lay around feeling sorry for himself. He's exhausted anyway, so after a quick shower he knows he'll be ready for bed. And tonight, he thinks he'll be able to sleep in his own room. After all, the floor in Star's is just awful for his back. She's not there and he needs to learn to deal with that. He's not sure what the future holds. He really hopes that Star is a part of it, that the two of them can be together in some capacity. In _any_ capacity. But for now he has to wait until he can begin to attempt to fix things. He has time. He can do it.

He's freshly showered and clean when he steps into his room a little later. He hasn't really been in here in a while and it feels stuffy. Marco crosses the room to open the window in order to let in some fresh air. Night has completely fallen and the gorgeous colours from earlier are completely gone: the sky's an inky black. It's a pretty clear night though, so Marco spends a few minutes leaning on the sill, breathing in the cool air. He has a weakness for them and it isn't difficult to figure out why. The calmness of the forest seems to have followed him home, because he isn't too bothered by the feelings in his chest. In fact, this is the first time since being home that he's noticed them. And for a little while, admiring the stars feels like a perfect cure.

Eventually his fatigue wins and Marco has to answer his bed's call. He collapses on top of the sheets, not bothering with a blanket. He's more interested in the ceiling above. There are all of his old friends, his weird shapes and his words of encouragement offered up by his very best friend. He goes through the process of inspecting every one, feeling his tiredness sink into every part of his body. It's been a good day, and Marco's encouraged. He can make it through tomorrow and any other day now. Things will get better. He knows it.

Marco's just drifting off with these comforting thoughts when something terrible happens. He's jerked awake by a jolt of deep surprise. The feeling overcomes him, erasing every sense of lethargy. He shoots up from the mattress with a gasp of shock. Before he can get a hold of himself, the surprise turns into a deep, gut-wrenching fear. Marco cries out, his arm flinging sideways to turn on his lamp. The yellow light illuminates the room. All he can do is crouch over the edge of the bed, holding tightly to his chest. He knows that something is very, very wrong but he's at a complete loss. What can he do?! He's positive that this has something to do with Star, that all the feelings he's had are telling him what's happening with her...but what good does that do him? He's a million miles away and all he can do is ride the waves, and hope they survive. But that fear is so sickening, it's bone deep. He actually wretches a few times, but there's nothing to throw up. He hasn't eaten in ages. He can't stop himself from inspecting every corner and shadow in the room. His adrenaline is pumping, telling him to run or fight but the threat isn't here! It's completely hopeless; he's completely useless!

It feels as though this awful dread will last forever. He just wants it to end. He knows that he isn't in any danger, _Star's_ the one in trouble and that's even more horrible! And all he can do is panic, begging for it to stop. Then suddenly it does. And it's a relief for a split second, but something even worse happens. He's struck with an unimaginable pain. It is blinding and Marco screams, writhing in agony. He falls to the floor and the carpet muffles his shrieks. This is it. This is how they die, he's sure of it. But his thoughts appear to be wrong: after a few endless moments, the pain stops. He's still alive. He lays there, panting as he tries to get himself together. He feels like he's been broken into a million pieces and scattered everywhere. Marco's arms are weak and rubbery, he cannot support his own weight. After several attempts to get up, he gives in and stays on the floor. He's able to roll over to face the ceiling. Maybe it can help him get his head back together, help him focus enough to pick up thepieces. He focuses on an inspiring message left by Star. Her words always help. They fill him with nothing but good feelings. And that's when he realizes. _The feelings._ His constant companion these past weeks, the nonstop source of confusion and annoyance: it's gone. Marco shoots up, his hands grabbing at his shirt. But it doesn't matter. He knows something unthinkable has happened. He definitely knows now that those feelings were a link to Star. Of course they were. All along, she'd been right there in some form. He treated them as a confusing nuisance, then something he actually treasured. But now none of that matters. His chest feels empty and Marco is very, very alone.

He's not sure how long he lays on his floor in the foetal position. It could be minutes, maybe hours. And he knows that it's going to be days, maybe months. Star is gone. She's left him. She was afraid and in pain and he wasn't by her side. He should have been there! It didn't matter that they were angry at each other, that they needed to work things out. He was her _partner_ and he was the one who looked out for her. She was so reckless, so willing to throw herself at every thing that came her way. It was _his_ job to pull her back. To keep an eye on her in order to keep her safe. But when she needed him most, he was nowhere near.

Sobs are wracking his body, but Marco does not make a sound. This pain is unlike anything he's ever felt before. Breaking his arm was nothing. Being crushed by Toffee's glass chamber was a picnic. The pain from Monster Arm as it shrunk and left his body, nothing. Even the pain he had felt through Star: he would take it all, everything at once if it meant she was okay. But those are just empty promises he can't back up. So he lays there, a destroyed husk.

At some point he becomes aware of a sound coming from outside his bedroom. It cuts through every numb thought he's having, because it's a noise his ears have been hoping to hear for a while. Star's mirror. Once again, it's ringing. He's confused. As much as every part of him wishes, he knows it isn't Star. Ponyhead knows about the move to Mewni and he's sure Kelly and any other friend would know about it. It has to be her parents, but he's not sure why they'd be calling him just now. Didn't they have more important things to attend to? What was he to that family any more? It's probably too bitter a thought, but Marco's not in control of his mental faculties. The majority of his brain is stuck on one thought and one only: _she's gone, she's gone, she's gone._ Over and over, almost louder than the ringing from Star's old room. He's convinced it's a mistake and decides to ignore it. He can't leave his spot, not now. This is where he last felt her presence. But the ringing goes on and on, gaining in volume over time. His parents must still be out on their date, because he knows they would have answered it by now. He's so tired, but whoever is calling must really want to speak with him.

Marco slowly sits up, wiping at his face. It's no use, because any clean up job won't last long. The sobs have subsided but the tears keep coming. He gathers what he can of himself and struggles to stand. He has to lean on his bed for a few seconds, but eventually he's able to stagger out the door. Stumbles down the hallway. Finally makes his way to the mirror. It's one of the hardest things he's ever had to do. Because if it's Star's parents and they're calling to tell him...well, he just can't do it. He knows she's gone, but to hear it out loud from someone who loves her, the thought is impossible. But he can't ignore that continuous call. If there's something he can help with he'll be there. He already failed Star when it mattered most, but he sure as hell won't fail her parents.

So he steels himself and takes a shuddering breath. His shaking hand reaches for the mirror and presses the button. There's the usual pause and then they appear. Both of her parents are framed in the mirror, as though he had a giant portrait put up in this room. But it's all wrong. He's never seen these two people like this before. Every part of them looks like it points to the floor. Their eyes are bloodshot and desperate. River is staring ahead into nothing and Moon is shuddering. Marco immediately moves close to the mirror just like he did with Star. Only this time he isn't reaching for his own comfort, now he's trying to offer it.

"River. Moon. I-" He croaks, and his chest hitches. He can't let the sobs return, not now. Not when Star's parents are there to see it. He wants to offer them strength, to lessen their burden, but he's afraid that all he has is anguish. He's about to tell the King and Queen that it's okay, they don't have to say a thing. That he knows what happened. His attempts to speak are cut off when Moon finally speaks.

"Marco. Something...something terrible has happened to Star. And we need -" She cuts herself off, seeming to struggle with something. Whatever it is, it's preventing her from continuing. River takes his wife's hand and squeezes it. Confusion cuts through his numbness once again, but also a tiny nugget of hope. He doesn't understand. They haven't told him Star died. Just that something's happened to her. Something awful, yeah but maybe it's fixable. Maybe she can be okay. He's so busy nurturing this tiny bit of hope, trying to make it flare to life that he doesn't notice that neither of Star's parents have spoken again. He looks up at them and notices for the first time that there's something else accompanying that misery. Marco wipes at his eyes and tries to get a look that isn't blurred with tears. He isn't mistaken. Upon a closer look he knows for sure: mingled in with the sorrow and shock he can see guilt. Overwhelming, frustrated guilt. That stops him short. What do they have to feel guilty about? Was this their fault? It's not possible. Star's parents took care of her, tried to keep her safe. They weren't as good at it as he was, but in the castle...surely there would be hundreds of eyes on her? How could something have happened? Didn't she have knights following her around?

He's about to shake the mirror and demand to know what happened, because now not knowing is worse than whatever ever the truth is. He can't stop imagining scenarios and they need to put his thoughts to rest. He opens his mouth to speak, but River beats him to it. Whatever is keeping Moon back doesn't have as much of a hold on River. He can tell that it's painful for the King to say whatever he needs to say, but he does it anyway.

"Marco. We need your help. To save Star. You are the only one who can do it."

At first, Marco doesn't comprehend the words. He's too busy being thrown off by River's tone. He's never heard the King say anything without it being in a joking matter. Even when he was hysterical about Star at the geyser it was more comical than anything. It takes his brain a little too long to process it, but suddenly it catches on. The hope in Marco's chest flares to life and he almost collapses to his knees. She wasn't dead. She wasn't gone. Star could be saved. _He_ could save her!

Moon finds her voice and despite the news Marco's just been told, he's never heard her sound so guilty and miserable. It takes away some of the joy.

"If you would please, we...we need you to come to Mewni immediately. You do still have your scissors?"

 _His scissors!_ He had completely forgotten about them! Another blanket of guilt wraps itself around him. He could have been there! He could have helped! What was _wrong_ with him?!

Moon seems to read something from his expression and she backtracks, her voice cracking.

"If..." She takes a deep breath. "If you would rather not, we would understand, Marco. I know that things between you two haven't been the greatest, so I-"

The rest of her sentence is spoken to an empty room, because Marco's already retrieved the scissors and cut through to Mewni.

Marco isn't interested in any explanations right now. All he can think about is seeing Star. He needs to see for himself that his best friend is alive. Because if she really is, why is their connection gone? He's tried to get it back, tried reaching out to her in his head, anything to fuse that line together again, but nothing has worked. So yeah. Moon and River can give him all the information he needs, just after he's seen her.

He races down the corridors, barely noticing anything around him unless it's a landmark that tells him when to turn. Moon and River are following behind him, and the King is attempting to fill Marco in. All they know is that Star and General Eric had been attacked on castle grounds. No one's sure how the enemy managed to infiltrate the kingdom; the attack was a complete surprise. She was just outside the castle. It was supposed to be safe. Apparently the General wasn't able to give any useful description of the attacker, just that he was tall and wore a hooded cloak that hid most of his face. There was also another monster there, a small one. Tiny and beaten with a crooked beak and scruffy beard. Marco knows immediately who that was. But that only serves to confuse him. It's certain that the little monster has been getting more dangerous lately...but this? He has no idea why the two of them teamed up, but Marco's certain Ludo isn't the one calling the shots.

Marco careens around the last corner and Star's room is in view. But what he sees makes his feet skid to a stop. There are guards outside her door. Nothing surprising there, she's always had them. But he recognizes the taller one immediately. William. He can't believe it. What the _hell_ is he doing there, guarding the door?! Hasn't he already proved that he's useless when it counts most? The fury builds within him and erupts.

" _YOU!"_ He bellows, before launching himself forward in order to tackle the guard. He doesn't care if it isn't productive, if it slows him from seeing Star. Because this is William's fault. It was his _job_ to protect her, his only job and he had _failed!_ It doesn't matter that Star's stronger than a hundred castle guards, that she's the last person who could ever be considered a damsel in distress. Marco doesn't care. He has to take his anger out, he can't keep it inside him. He's so angry because he knows he wasn't there, he knows he was even less help than General Eric and that's what's killing him. He's done a lot of beating himself up, but now he needs to find another outlet.

General Eric turns to face his attacker, but doesn't raise his spear. He even commands the other guard to stand down as they turn to defend him. Somehow this only infuriates Marco more. He crosses the distance between them in seconds, his anger spurring him on. Just as he's in striking distance he cocks his arm, ready to knock the guard of his feet. His eyes are filled with angry tears and this is so much better than what he felt before. Anger he can deal with. It gives him purpose. Through blurry eyes he sees William bow his head, ready for the blow. But it never comes. There's a loud **BANG!** and suddenly he's flying back several feet. He's knocked to the ground and his vision goes white for an instant. A few seconds later, River his helping him to his feet.

"Marco, lad! Are you okay?! I'm sorry, it's just Glossaryk. He shouldn't have done that, but you needn't be hurting General Eric, either." The King has a firm grasp on Marco's arms, attempting to hold him in place. Marco doesn't care. He's filled with blind fury and there's only one person he can actually direct it at. He struggles to break from River's hold.

"I don't _care_ , River. He deserves it! I need to. _YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HER!_ " His scream reverberates through the hall, his anger almost giving it a physical force. "That was your job, and _YOU FUCKING BLEW IT! YOU FAILED HER!_ " River's fingers are digging into his arm, but he's passed struggling now. Everything has left him. Marco's head falls forward and he folds to his knees. He speaks again, his word choked and broken. "I...I was supposed to watch out for her..." He was her guide. He'd been chosen that very first day to keep her out of trouble. And he couldn't do it. She wasn't even supposed to be in Mewni right now. If he'd just been able to keep his mouth shut, she would have been safe!

He feels another hand on his arm. Moon is crouched before him and lifts his face with the other. He has to blink a few times in order to see her and when he does her eyes have hardened. He can still see all the sadness, fatigue and guilt within them but there's also anger now and determination.

"Marco. It does not matter. Even if there had been a thousand guards watching over her it would not have made a difference. This monster is not like anyone we have dealt with before. His technique and strategies..." She trails off for a few seconds. Then Moon's eyes soften with compassion. "I know what you are thinking. You could not have protected her. Not here, or on Earth. As soon as the choice was made, I fear our little Star had no chance." Marco shakes his head, refusing absolution.

"However. There is a way...a way for her to come back." At this, Marco's head shoots up and it's almost as though he has a link to Moon, so intense is his focus. He'd completely forgotten. He's about to ask how, but Moon waves him off.

"We will explain everything, but I gather you still wish to see her?" Marco shoots to his feet, appalled at himself. He'd gotten so stupidly sidetracked. General Eric wasn't his problem. The only one who mattered was Star and he was wasting time out here. Moon watches the young adult, the tiniest ghost of a smile on her lips. But her eyes remain haunted by guilt. Marco's own gaze becomes questioning, but she hastily turns away and addresses the guards in front of them. They've been standing there, saying nothing the entire time. Marco stiffens as he makes eye contact with William, but his rancor doesn't call for any action.

"You two may leave. We have it handled from here." The guards bow and immediately depart. William moves slightly slower, his gaze lingering on Star's door. But he obeys the Queen's orders and soon the two of them are out of sight. The hallway has become much less crowded and with _him_ gone, Marco finds he can breathe better. River pulls him to his feet once again, clapping him on the back twice.

"We'll give you a moment alone with her. As soon as you are ready, let us know and we will discuss what we've brought you here for. Glossaryk! A word?"

Marco takes a startled step backwards as Star's mentor appears in front of them. He's ready for a smart remark or something but Glossaryk only nods at Marco, as serious as he's ever seen him.

Marco turns to face the door. He was so eager to see her a little while ago, but now he's terrified. It's probably why he tried to pick a fight with Will. Anything for a distraction or delay. But it doesn't matter. If he thinks this is unpleasant, it's nothing compared to Star's suffering. He can do this for her.

So he takes a deep breath, turns the doorknob and opens the door. Then he steps through.

Marco figured he'd be too afraid to approach Star's bed. That he wouldn't be able to see her in this condition. But as soon as he steps through the door and spots her, gravity takes over. He is drawn to her side.

He isn't sure what he expected. The worst was definitely on his mind. A body covered in seeping bandages, pieces of her missing. But somehow what he does see is worse. Star lays in her bed and the covers are pulled up to her chin, arms laid peacefully at her sides. There are no injuries that he can see, no cuts, no bruises. She doesn't even look as though she's in pain – she just looks as though she's sleeping. But everything about her is wrong. Star's innate exuberance is gone. She is completely still, and if it wasn't for her soft breathing, he'd be convinced she was dead. Marco's woken Star up in the morning for school a million times, and never has he seen her asleep like this.

He kneels before her bedside and takes her hand, grasping it tightly. There is no fear about crossing this boundary and showing his true feelings. All of that is behind him now. He knows what matters. This does. This is what counts.

"I'm so sorry, Star. I wasn't there." His words are so broken. No matter how many times Moon declared otherwise, Marco wasn't going to stop blaming himself. But that wasn't it. "Don't worry though. I'm here and I'm gonna help. Your parents say there's something I can do. They haven't told me yet, but I promise that no matter what it is, I'll do it. I don't care. I'll do _anything._ " His words take on a fervent tone and he squeezes her hand. He wishes desperately that he can touch her face, brush the hair out of her eyes. But while he's okay with holding her hand, he's unwilling to do anything more. Every other move is too intimate.

Marco knows that she can't hear him, but he finds that talking helps him anyway. It's allowing him to gather his wits in order to face whatever's coming next. Just being in her presence is enough. He hadn't realized just how much he missed her. He definitely felt her absence while at home, and the aching from their link was a constant reminder that he wasn't by her side. But this feels like something entirely different. He's gone from thinking he's lost her to this. She's right beside him, but still not there. So achingly close. It's agony. He doesn't even know what it is that happened to her. He figures it involves a spell of _some_ sort, because any physical blow that would knock her out like this would leave a mark. So definitely magic. But what kind? And from whom? There's so little he knows about magic! He spent 16 years in a magical world but that wasn't enough to even scrape the surface of its lore. And if it is magic, how is help going to fix anything? He knows nothing! He's never used it before! Moon and River seem to know the details, but right now it's easier to sit by Star's side and imagine any number of awful scenarios.

Time passes, and Marco's desperate for it to slow. He knows he needs to get up in order to talk to River and Moon. He has to prepare for whatever their plan involves. But he just can't leave Star's side. He's afraid that if he takes off, the rest of her will disappear. While he's here and able to see her, he can stay calm. He can hold her hand and assure himself she's alive. Only it isn't her. His friend isn't here and he has to go find her.

Marco bows his head, resting it on her hand. He takes several deep breathes, trying to gather strength from her somehow. He thinks about marshmallows, goofy ceiling dragons and a smile that can light up the dark. He's able to gather courage from her and find the will to step away. Marco gently places Star's hand back on the sheets and climbs to his feet. It's time to talk to the King and Queen.

The concerned party huddles outside Star's door. Marco joins them, hoping they haven't been eavesdropping. The King and Queen are probably above that, but he knows Glossaryk wouldn't care. The stupid magic man probably knew what he was going to say before _he_ did. What frustrates him most is that he's pretty sure Glossaryk has known about this whole debacle from the start. That's what he does. He manipulates people and he treats it like a game. He's always hated that, but Glossaryk and the Butterfly family have some sort of deep connection and so the stupid pudding eating guy is always around. He deals with it because of Star. But it's a different matter now.

"So what do I do?" He doesn't want to waste any time. He senses the hesitation in Star's parents, and he wants to beat it back before it becomes a problem. This is happening. He can do it. "Let's get going. No talk, just do what you have to do."

He's pacing in front of them, brushing against Star's door with each pass. Every second there's hesitation it feels as though she's slipping further away. He swings around to confront the party, but Moon reaches out and pulls him to a stop. He wants to shut her up, to tell her that whatever her issue is, it doesn't matter, he doesn't care. But her eyes are so pleading and so sad that he can't help but listen.

"Marco, please. Yes. I said there's a way...but it's very dangerous. You need to think about this, because if you go...there is a very real possibility that you will not come back." Marco blinks, confused. But Moon isn't finished. "To ask you to go is to risk causing your parents the pain we have suffered. And that...well, it isn't fair." She repeats herself. "It is too dangerous. I want Star back more than anything, but you don't need to risk yourself like that. If you do not wish to, we will find another way."

He can't believe it. That's the hold up? A stupid hang up about him risking himself? Screw that! Star would do it without hesitation. She'd jump straight in for him. And he'll do the same. There's no hesitation in his body at all. He's all in. But Star's parents are resisting and he doesn't have time for that! The young man turns to Glossaryk.

"What do I need to do to get her back?" Moon tries to interrupt, but Marco holds her off. "Queen Moon, I heard you and I understand, but I don't care. I'm doing this with or without you." Well, he knows he'll need Glossaryk, but that crazy guy probably already has a plan.

"Well, young Diaz boy. It's simple. Star has been transported to a different dimension, made up of her doubts and fears. Her mind is gone, but her body remains. It's powerful magic! And all you have to do is go in there and bring her back! Easy as pie!"

Marco knows Glossaryk too well. If he says it'll be easy, he's prepared for it to be almost impossible. _Whatever it takes._ He thinks to himself. There is no doubt. Just determination and urgency.

"So you can send me there? And I just find her and bring her back?" There's a lot of skepticism in Marco's voice and Glossaryk seems to take offense at it.

"That's what I said, isn't it?! You'll go there and find _your_ Star and take her back." He's a little thrown off by Glossaryk's weird emphasis. She isn't his. She's her own Star. But whatever. He'll figure it out on the way. _What were they waiting for?!_

"Okay, fine! Just send me, do whatever it is you have to!"

"Alright, alright! Okay. You are at a 10 and I need you at a 3. Can you do that so I can explain?" Marco grimaces. He really doesn't like Glossaryk. Never had. He can't understand why he remains so blaséin times of crisis. With Star's Mewberty, the whole Boom Nuggets thing. How he treats donuts. But he shuts his mouth.

"Good, good. Alright. I can do a similar thing as the attacker. You will be able to go in and get Star. But you cannot linger long, or the two of you will be trapped forever. Dunno why, that's just how the spell works." He raises his hand, floating across from Marco's determined face. There is no apprehension there.

"And remember, Marco. You are the best person for this job. Your connection with Star," he points to Marco's empty chest. "Is the strongest we have. It really is heartwarming." He shows absolutely no surprise at the fact that Marco already seems to know about the connection. Of course not. "But it will also make leaving that place difficult. Remember your promises and the symbols of your relationship."

Marco's about to ask what the hell he's talking about, but Glossaryk is suddenly in a rush. "Well, I suppose now is the time!"

He's about to protest, this is the hallway! but a blast of purple light hits him. He feels the pain again, but not nearly as bad. This is something he can deal with, sure...as long as it doesn't go on for much longer. He's falling and the last thing he hears is King River.

"Glossaryk! We could have at least gotten him to a bed!"

Then he's gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Free-falling Without A Parachute**

 **(Waking Up Inside My Own Paralysis)**

 _A/N: This is a short one, guys! But the next chapter will be up on Wednesday!_

Star is falling for what feels like eternity. For some time, she doesn't care. All that matters is that the pain has stopped. Then fear and self-preservation take hold and the panic switches on. She tumbles through the air, frantically attempting to right herself. It's impossible though, she can't determine which way is up or down. Her wings are completely useless against this force. The air whips violently through her hair and Star cries out when her horns are ripped off her head, disappearing into the darkness. She twists and turns, trying to grab out for them, but her efforts cease when the ground finally catches up with her. Everything hurts again and then there's nothing.

Sometime later, Star comes to. She jerks upwards, crying out. It starts out as a pained scream and then morphs into a shout for help. She's doubled over, coughing and wheezing as she struggles to suck in air. A few moments of practised breathing and she's able to make it to her feet. Without knowing where she's going, Star stumbles forward. Adrenaline is pumping through her and in her confusion, Star's response is to flee. Branches are whipping her face, leaving their marks as she pushes forward.

"Marco?! MARCO?!" She can't help it, but his name is the first to leave her lips. It's habit. If she's in trouble, he's the one she calls. He's always the one she wants to see most. But right now, that's insanely wishful thinking. Star has no idea what's happened or even where she is, but she knows for sure that Marco isn't anywhere near. The last thing she remembers is talking with William. She knows for sure that _he_ didn't do anything, so what went wrong? She finally comes to a halt, leaning against a giant tree trunk. She needs to gather herself. Was there someone else there? Had someone gotten through their magical shields? It's the only explanation. But even if that's the truth, it doesn't explain what the heck is going on now! Had she been thrown into another dimension some how? She manages to calm herself enough to strategize a little. Star just needs to find her way back home. That's fine. If she runs into anyone hostile, she'll give 'em a good blast with her wand. As if to reaffirm her decision (and give herself some comfort), Star reaches for her wand. When she comes up empty, she frantically turns in circles, patting every pocket she has. Nothing. Not even a tacquito. Where was it?! Did it fall out of her skirt while she fell? She needs to go back to find it!

Star whips around and attempts to figure out which way she came. It's hopeless. Everything looks the same. She's in a forest and there's nothing but towering trees whose trunks line up like dungeon bars. She was never one for directions. That was Marco's department! She misses him so much it hurts. She wants to reach out to him through the connection in the hopes that maybe he can giver her just a little help from afar. And that's when she realizes something awful. He's not there. Her chest is just as empty as her pockets. This knowledge is too heavy for her to bear, Star sinks to her knees. If Marco isn't there, if that connection is gone...does that mean she's dead?

"Oh god, oh no. I'm dead. Totally totally dead. This is it." She's hyperventilating and there isn't enough air in the world for her to breathe. This isn't right. She isn't supposed to be here, there's been a huge mistake. Star attempts one last deeeeeep breathe and scrutinizes the trees. She doesn't _feel_ dead, but why else would that connection break? Glossaryk said it had something to do with their feelings with each other. That their love for each other creates the bond. And considering the fact that Star's love for Marco is as natural to her as _breathing_ , she's fairly certain Marco's the same and hasn't magically moved on in the last several days. So what gives?

A deep and sickening fear is starting to settle into her bones. It comes on slowly, creeping in as she searches the forest around her. It seems familiar somehow, but she can't quite put her finger on it. She has the peculiar sensation of feeling both lost and at home at the same time. Star doesn't know what to do. She can keep walking in the hopes that she figures out where she is, she can stay here, or she can look for the wand. It isn't much of a choice: the wand is more important than anything. She can't lose it. So she chooses the direction she's _pretty_ sure she came from and sets off.

For several moments, the princess can only hear herself as she makes progress through the underbrush. There are no birds or creatures making any noises, all is silent. She can't dwell on that for too long, because she needs the wand. If she finds that, she'll be able to get herself out of her. She'll wake up or find her way home or _something_ because this dream is completely creepy and she's not into it anymore. Not that she was in the first place.

She makes her way around a giant tree and finds herself in a clearing. Star can't tell if it's the place she landed. If she landed. Appeared. WHICHEVER! It _is_ familiar, she's just uncertain if it's in the right way. She turns around slowly, trying to find a hint of _anything_ that'll help her find her bearings. But there's nothing. She's totally lost.

"Ooookay, Star. Don't panic, don't panic. You're good. You got this. Rebel Princess!" It doesn't matter how much she tries to talk herself down, this is really freaking her out. She wants to see her parents. She needs to know that Will is okay. And Marco. He isn't part of this, but she wants to see him all the same. She knows deep down that it isn't _right_ that she's here, but there's nothing she can do!

Star's about to COMPLETELY break down when a bright light catches her eyes. It's coming from the left of her, deep in the woods. Instinct is telling her to stay put and wait for someone to find her...but there's just something about how it illuminates the trees. It draws her in. She can't resist it. Without even meaning to, Star sets off to follow its glow.

* * *

The small monster is trying to appear as invisible as possible. He's well aware that escape isn't an option at this point and his only hope of survival is to stay put. This is something Ludo is desperately unhappy about. He's furious, actually. But he and the girls are completely powerless. His head still aches horribly from the beatings he's suffered. And he knows that any wrong move could set Sutcliffe off again. Besides, isn't this a good thing? With the princess out of commission it should be a piece of cake to get the book! So all he has to do is sit tight, deal with this whole business and then go off on his merry way when it's all done.

Still. He can't seem to get Star's look of shock out of his head. The way she fell to the ground, unresponsive as that guard frantically tried to tend to her. Ludo found himself wanting to join in, and that didn't make sense at all. Princess Star was an infuriating thorn in his side and he couldn't forget _that!_ But even still... the cold way Sutcliffe spoke: _"You won't be able to do anything for her. She's gone to a very far place."_ It left a weird feeling in his stomach. Almost like guilt. Which was just ridiculous. He didn't ask for any of this! He had his plans and they'd been working so well! The book was within his reach...everything he needed to learn how harness the wand's power...and then _this_ guy. A cheap Toffee knock-off with a vicious streak. But what could he do? Ludo was stuck.

So the diminutive monster shook his head and focused on the future. The most important thing was avoiding Sutcliffe's fury. Head down, power through. Then the book would be his and he'd have his own, proper magic. None of this random, unpredictable crap he'd been forced to put up with from the beginning. _That_ wasn't magic!

Ludo's gift was perseverance. He was able to endure. He survived the abuse from his family, he struck out on his own and came out on top. He triumphed over Toffee's dirty tricks. And he's survived blow after blow from that damn princess. Over and over again, he's been able to take what she gives him. He's minded his own business, biding his time until he can take what's rightfully his. So now there's just one more obstacle and then this is all over and done with. Big boy body, here he comes!

And yet...he just can't shake the feeling that this Sutcliffe guy is trouble. Mostly because he keeps beating Ludo's face in...but also because the monster monologues a lot. It's something Ludo's familiar with. And while he's always been one for a speech before havoc, Sutcliffe's words are a hell of a lot more sinister than his have ever been. But he listens faithfully all the same, biding time. It's what he does.

Sutcliffe's formidable form is a little ways ahead of him. Ludo's on the ground, keeping his head bowed, but his attention sharp.

"I've done it, tiny one. The tear has been made and soon magic will leave us all entirely. And by subduing that blonde brat, there's nothing in my way. Where she has gone, she will not be able to reach her wand, or its magic. With magic gone, we will all be equals. Monsters and Mewmans alike. And _that_ is when I strike."

Ludo lifts his head, astonished. No...magic? But that wasn't what he wanted! He needed magic! It's all he's ever worked for! With magic gone...what else was there for him to strive for? He wants to protest, to tell Sutcliffe that his plan is asinine. It's wrong. It isn't right! Monsters deserve that magic as well!

But the monster before him is terrifying, and just a look cows Ludo. His head falls into a bow almost automatically.

"You seem hesitant, little one. But don't worry, I will show you the way. This will be the new Mewni. Without their sorcery and tricks, we'll be able to settle everything as equals. More or less. It is time that we take what is rightfully ours. What has _always_ been ours! This land was taken from us, and it is time we recover it. So."

Sutcliffe closes the distance between the two, and looms before Ludo. Without meaning to, the diminutive monster shrinks back, falling to the floor. There's no way he's going to object now. He's too far in. The cloaked monster picks Ludo up off the floor, delicately brushing off the dirt that clings to his ridiculous chip bag outfit. It takes everything in Ludo's power not to flinch and move away. Sutcliffe's breath is almost as threatening as his words. His maw protrudes from his hood, jagged teeth piercing his skin. It's twisted into a wicked grin, and Ludo tries not to gag. It's all he can do. Especially when Sutcliffe pulls him even closer, and lowers his voice to a whisper.

"Will you be with me on this, or do I need to dispose of another obstacle?"

Ludo swallows, a giant gulp. He has no choice. He needs to survive. So he nods and keeps his mouth shut. That's all Sutcliffe needs. He lets Ludo go, ignoring the squeal of pain as he falls to the floor.

"That's the wise choice. Well done. I'm sure you won't regret it."

His voice is patronizing and Ludo wants nothing more than to punch that arrogant face. But he's stuck. Now's the time to endure once again. Whatever Sutcliffe has in mind for a new Mewni, he will be a part of it. He will survive. And then he'll find a way to triumph. There are always plans and schemes and he knows he'll be able to persevere.

But a world without magic. It scares him. It's hard to imagine. And Star...wherever she's been sent, he knows it isn't a pleasant place. He wants to feel victorious, to believe he's had a hand in finally beating her. But this is something different. She's gone to a far place and he finds himself wishing she'd find her way back. Wherever she is, he knows she'll be fighting. And for once, that feels like a good thing. She needs to come back.


	9. Chapter 9

**Everyone Is Part Perfect Storm**

 **(And Part Broken Song)**

 _A/N hopefully this is a but better than the last chapter! Also, I want to thank every one who has taken the time to comment or review. Those things are just the best, they really do keep fic authors going. Same goes for the followers!_

* * *

Marco hits the ground with a very loud and painful _thump!_ He lays there, desperately trying to get his breath while struggling to adapt to this very weird sensation. He knows he isn't in his actual body, that in some way this isn't real...but it feels very tangible indeed. He's wheezing for a good several minutes before he's able to sit up in order to assess any damage. All of his limbs work without complaint, so nothing's broken. Can they even be broken in here? If the pain feels real in some way, he doesn't want to take a chance. How dangerous is it in here, anyway? Marco does _not_ intend to stay long enough in order to find out. He needs to find Star and get the fuck out of here. Based on Glossaryk's nonchalance, he knows it won't be a matter of just looking up and spotting her a few feet a way. But still, a part of him desperately hopes that she isn't too far. He's disappointed to realize that he still can't sense her, that their connection is still severed. Is it gone forever now? Despite all the trouble it's caused him these last few months, he desperately hopes not.

So. Where can she be? Marco rolls up and off the grass, jumping to his feet. He's in a forest of some sort, but he knows immediately that isn't one from Earth. And why would it be? This is inside Star's head, after all. Which just gives him the added hindrance of not knowing which way to go. It's a little funny: he's always prided himself on knowing Star's mind more than anyone, but he never figured he'd find himself in a situation like this. He's dismayed to discover that he's completely lost. There are no clues as to where he should head. All he can do is choose a direction that feels right and set off. It's dark amongst the trees and he can't quite catch a glimpse at the sky, but Marco's pretty sure it's day time. The foliage is so dense that only a little light is filtered down to where he is, and even that source is tinted a dark green. It doesn't help much when it comes to avoiding roots and other tripping hazards.

He knows that he's supposed to be rushing, that he needs to locate Star as soon as possible, but that idiot Glossaryk didn't give him clear enough instructions! Is it going to be obvious when he finds her? He worded himself so cryptically, so Marco doubts it's that simple. He can't just run through the forest. He could miss a crucial hint. And what about the world itself? Were there any dangerous beings he needed to worry about? There are too many unknown variables! So he sets as quick a pace as he can, moving through the trees and keeping a sharp look out. He doesn't have the time he'd like in order to peruse the forest as he feel he _should_ but it's the best he can manage.

After a short amount of time, Marco feels as though he may have made the right decision for once. The trees are finally thinning, their leaves turning to a brighter green as he continues forward. It's a deep relief when he steps out of the forest and into the sun. Marco takes a few grateful gulps of clear air as he looks around. He's at the edge of a property of _some_ sort. He wants to say that it's Butterfly Castle's stables, but things look a little different. First of all, there isn't a hint of snow anywhere, and he knows that the castle grounds he just left were covered in it. Secondly, while Star's only taken him there a couple of times to show him around and can't be positive, he's pretty sure that there are a few extra fences and stalls. The paint looks a lot more new, as well. He runs his hand along a railing, following it to a gate. He's about to hop over when a commotion to his left almost sends him flying out of his skin. It's the first noise he's heard that hasn't been caused by _him_ and it throws Marco off. He looks around frantically, trying to locate its source in order to gauge the level of danger.

There's a few more crashes and then a bunch of frantic shouting. It's coming from behind a large group of stalls. Marco decides to head that way, hopping back onto the fence. But what he sees next sends him tumbling off again. Several warnicorns come careening around the corner, whinnying in alarm. Without pausing they cross the field in several strides, crashing through one fence, then the other. And right atop the steed in front leading the charge is one Star Butterfly. She's laughing uproariously and shrieking in what can only only be called a war cry. But that isn't what makes Marco's jaw drop. No, what gets him is that this isn't the Star he knows. This is someone much, much younger. She can't be any more than six years old! Marco continues to watch in stupefaction as the herd of warnicorns thunder closer. He expects them to go on crashing through the final gate, but at the last possible second little Star directs her mount with another cry and the two of them sail over the fence. They clear it with plenty of room to spare and continue on past him without a glance.

It takes Marco several minutes to get his heart under control. He knows she was unruly as a kid, but this is insane! And is this what Glossaryk meant about finding _his_ Star? A very large part of him wants to somehow chase after the escaped princess in order to make sure she'll be alright. But an inexplicable feeling is pulling him in the opposite direction, closer to what he now knows is Butterfly Castle. Besides, that Star is probably a hell of a lot more safe than he is right now. She definitely knew what she was doing. Whereas he still has no freakin' clue. So he lets the tug in his chest pull him forward and steals his way around the side of the stables and further from the forest. He spies a path that leads into a magnificent garden. Figuring that's his best bet, Marco takes it.

He's just crossing under a heavily vined trellis when he hears another disturbance. He's a little less surprised this time when he sees Star again, but it still throws him off. She's sitting on the side of a fountain, and he thinks she's barely younger than the warnicorn wrangler he just encountered. She doesn't look nearly as triumphant, either. As he draws closer he realizes that the sound he can hear is her crying. Her legs are drawn up to her face, forehead resting on her knees, but there's no mistaking the hunch and shake of her shoulders. The sound is heartbreaking. Had she fallen? It isn't long before someone finds her out there. He's fairly certain it's a maid. The royal servant sits next to the little princess, wrapping a comforting arm around her. Marco moves within earshot.

"I know you miss her, Dearie but your mom is very busy." Star seems unwilling to accept this. In between heaving sobs she manages to cry out that:

"It's not fair, she promised! She said she wouldn't be busy this time. Or the time before that." She hiccups. "Or any of the times before _that_. Doesn't she want to play with me? We were supposed to go see warnicorns!"

Marco's heart goes out to her. The escapades he witnessed earlier make a lot more sense and the young man can't blame her. He can't remember how many times his own parents let promises come in second to their own schedules. He used to walk from room to room, turning on lights and locking doors in the evening just so he'd feel safe. Even when his parents were around...they weren't really there sometimes. And if he developed his safe tendencies as a coping mechanism for his own solitude as a kid, it made sense that Star might go in her own direction: acting out as a plea for attention. His are a lot better now, but wow. Parents can really suck sometimes.

The tug starts up again and Marco allows himself to be pulled along, leaving the voices behind him. This time he's led to a door into the castle. It's propped open by a battered bucket so he's able to make his way inside without any trouble. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim light and he shivers, feeling the absence of the sun. He finds himself at the end of a wide hallway. There are several doors lining the corridor and Marco isn't sure if he's meant to go into one of them, or continue further into the castle. His dilemma is solved when once again he hears the tell-tale shout of his best friend. He's immensely relieved to hear that it's a cry of mirth and not the sobs he left behind him. He can't really understand _what_ Star's yelling, but it definitely sounds like a challenge. Marco moves forward, a little reluctant to interfere. Can he even interact with these memories? And if he can, is there a possibility of him causing some sort of disaster? He knows this isn't exactly a Back to the Future scenario, but every movie he's every watched involving past selves...well, talking to them was always a Big Problem. There's no place to hide here!

He pushes himself against the wall, hoping he can somehow become invisible. The racket draws closer and another voice is added to the clamour. Within seconds, another young Star (he _really_ cannot gauge age, but he knows she can't be any older than nine) comes charging through a door. She's waving a sword wildly and hot on her heels is another kid. It takes him a few seconds, but he recognizes that the little boy is none other than General Eric. Now he _knows_ he doesn't want to talk to these...visions, or whatever they are. So he manages to slip into one of the doorways, tucking himself out of sight, but definitely close enough to hear what's going on. He hears the clash of metal and the scuffle of feet. Marco can't believe that those swords are actually _real_ , but he reminds himself that Mewni's a different place. Safety does not seem to be a big concern in these parts.

At first the two kids don't talk, and all Marco can hear is the sound of them exchanging blows. Then all of a sudden it's over: Star cries out triumphantly and he hears a sword fall the to ground. He can't help but mentally send a cheer her way.

William cries in mock anguish and Marco's treated to the sound of him pretending to die...it lasts a long time. Like. Really long. Marco wants to judge the little kid (yeah, how petty is that?!) but he can't; Star's giggles reverberate through the halls and he knows William's doing it all for her. Finally, Will shuts up. It takes Star a moment or so to gather herself, but eventually she's able to speak in between goofy giggles.

"That was a close one!" It's so similar to what Star always said to _him_ and Marco's heart twists painfully. He misses her so much!

Star's voice suddenly becomes very earnest. "Thanks for rescuing me, Will. I know mom needs me to pay attention during those meetings...but it's SO BORING." She sighs loudly and Marco thinks he hears her collapse against the wall, sliding to the floor. "It doesn't matter _what_ I do, anyway. It's never good enough. I really tried this time."

Will hums sympathetically and murmurs something. Marco can't hear without leaning out the door and he's definitely not willing to reveal himself. He's grateful when Star laughs in response.

"You're always saving me like that, Will. It really gets me through the day."

Marco fights the small amount of jealousy that moves through him. Such an ugly emotion. It's completely unnecessary. It makes him sad to think of a time when he and Star weren't a team. When he wasn't the one to rescue her from her fears and insecurities. But both of them had a life before they met, and he's grateful that she had Will. If it meant she was saved from those worries, then he's happy. She deserves that.

The two escapees disappear down the hall after a while and when Marco thinks it's safe, he moves on.

* * *

He thinks it's been a couple of hours and Marco feels no closer to finding Star. His Star, anyway. He's come across several versions that _aren't_ her and he's been through an emotional wringer. Marco can't understand how Star's managed to keep such a carefree and upbeat personality. It's a strength he's always admired about his friend, but he never knew just how much that will was tested. He's seen her being reprimanded by her parents, by advisors and even the guards who always seemed to be babysitting her. He was particularly heartbroken when he had to watch a young Star banished to her room after being deemed "too unruly" to partake in the festivities in the ballroom for an important function. Star had collapsed on her bed, crying angry and frustrated tears, berating herself for not being able to keep her mouth shut. Even if he _could_ have interacted with her, Marco had no idea what he could say. This was the past, after all. He knows Star persevered. It just sucks to see her in such a vulnerable state. And that really seems to be the gist of this whole place.

As he walks on, the castle changes. At first he thinks it's a result of whichever Star he's witnessing and the time when she existed, but soon the walls take on a weird, off-kilter appearance. The doorways are warped and tired looking, bricks crumbling. The floor goes from being pristine with magnificent rugs to dirt-caked and worn. A sense of urgency begins to build within his chest. Marco quickens his pace and calls out for his friend.

He passes by a large hole in the wall, the stone crumbled and destroyed. Marco peeks in before he continues on and catches a glimpse of another Star. She's still younger than his current friend, so he knows it definitely isn't the Real Star. It looks like she's about a year or two away from moving to Earth.

The princess is talking to her mirror. He leans through the hole to get a better look. It's just a regular mirror, so she isn't talking to a friend, just herself. Marco's puzzled as he listens to the young girl repeat several phrases. _What the hell is she doing?_ Is it some sort of etiquette thing? Then he notices her voice itself. It's different. It sounds more like Moon's! It's never occurred to him to wonder about Star's voice. Both of her parents have their own accents...but Star sounds as though she was born and raised in Echo Creek! He's never bothered to wonder why that is. But to think of her spending hours practising in order to sound less like her mother or father...it doesn't give him a good feeling. He knows she's always wanted to be different than her parents, but this is heartbreaking.

It's difficult to walk away, but he leaves the hole behind and steadies himself for the next memory. He opens several more doors, hoping this whole thing can be over quickly. He's reminded that he can feel pain in this world (or whatever it is) when a door falls off its hinge and smashes his foot. He also sees different Stars practising speeches, listening to more lectures, pretending a stick's her wand and even her greeting Tom as he climbs in through her window. That one is difficult to experience in a different way and Marco moves on quickly, but he is glad to see her so happy.

Marco comes to a sudden end to the hallway and eyes a set of stairs before him. They don't look safe at all. He's pretty sure they can be classified more as a slide now. But he has no choice. He can't backtrack because he knows Star is out there somewhere and the feeling is tugging him _forward_ and not the other way. So the Safe Kid takes a deep breath and makes his descent.

It isn't too bad, with the help of the wall and a few jutting bricks, Marco makes it three-fourths of the way down before slipping on a stair and tumbling to the bottom. He curses a lot of people as he groans and makes his way to his feet again, but Glossaryk comes up more often than not. When he finally shuts his mouth, Marco notices the sound of many murmuring voices just around the corner. He's a little put off. So far these memories have only featured Star and one or two people. There's never been a group. Marco approaches the door, struggling with his apprehension. Peeking in, he's relieved to see that it's just a conference. Star's complained about them plenty of times before. He remembers saying goodbye to her years ago and feeling the sharp pain of loss whenever she left. The two of them exchanged letters almost constantly and it kept him going. And while it did seem to cause the small animal population of his neighbourhood to drop, he looked forward to those letters anyway.

It really is as boring as she's always complained. This particular conference doesn't seem to be about boundaries or policies, though. In this one, Star's the focal point. Marco slides through the door, keeping himself to the wall. He hasn't touched any of these...visions, and he has no intentions of bumping into one now. It really is just a lot of people with beards and/or horns and/or gills all sitting at the table. But they're all focused on Star, giving her instructions and explaining policies he knows _he'd_ never be able to remember. Star herself is sitting stiffly in a chair, struggling to keep a neutral expression. She's not his current Star, but he knows enough to see that this princess is fighting the instinct to flee. She thanks a burly man with antlers when he hands her a looonnnggg scroll of paper and explains that it's a comprehensive list of everything they've covered today. Star's eyes widen as she scans the writing.

"Yeeeeeeesshhh. More like an _in_ comprehensive list, am I right?!" She lifts her arms and Marco has to fight off a chuckle as his friend executes a few finger guns. But her audience is not amused. All they do is stare disapprovingly and poor Star falls back in her chair, defeated. Her eyes dim and glaze over as the droning voices take over. Marco slips out the door, leaving his sympathies behind him.

He continues on and the corridor opens up into some kind of sitting room. There's a short staircase that leads to an area full of overstuffed chairs. Off to the side, another Star and Pony Head are immersed in intense discussion. Star's propped up by a thousand pillows on the end of a couch, but he can feel her restless energy from here. Pony Head's chosen a giant chair and he's irrationally annoyed to see that it's in the reclined position. Marco skirts forward to hear them better. He chooses a place against the wall, as close as he's comfortable getting. He doesn't know if he should be hearing a conversation like this. Pony Head's always been pretty damn vocal about her friendship status over his. He's always been conscious of the fact that Star has someone else to vent to. And he's considered it none of his business. But Marco's certain that if it's in _this_ world, the conversation isn't about make-up or Mewni and Cloud Kingdom relations. He knows he should probably just keep moving without listening, but Marco can't make himself leave.

"Auuuggghhhh, it's just. So frustrating!" Star flings her arms out helplessly, collapsing into her pillows. "I don't know what to _do_ , Pony!"

Marco peeks at Ponyhead. He's used to a certain dynamic when it comes to venting. He doesn't really air his problems with any one other than Star and his mom...and maybe Jackie sometimes, but Marco's familiar with a certain process. It's the point where she's supposed to offer her own advice, maybe even a solution to the problem. But this is Ponyhead. The entire reason he automatically responds to the name "Earthturd." So when she opens her mouth, he's predictably disappointed. He also cringes into the wall, because seriously. Ponyhead has the most annoying voice in existence.

"Guuurrrll, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. This one time, my sister got this bag. And at first I thought it was just okay, nothing really pretty. But then _one_ day I just could not take my eyes off it. It was like. The most beautiful thing in the world. Other than me, of course. Anyway, I told Pamanda that I wanted it, and she would not give it up! Like. Girl, what do you even need a bag for?! You _know_ you don't go out anyway!"

Marco silently groans, banging his head on the couch. How is that even advice?! Star seems to agree, because she reacts the same way, throwing a pillow to the ground in frustration.

"Pony, that is _NOT_ the same thing at all and you know it!" She grabs a different cushion and squishes it to her face, letting out a muffled scream. When she's finished, Star regards her friend imploringly. "I need your help here, for real. This isn't a joke! This is something huge and I'm completely lost! If I make the wrong move, I can ruin everything."

Marco's heart goes out to his friend. He's always thought Star and Pony's friendship was a complete mystery. What does the princess even get out of it? He knows that Star's grown into a completely different person since coming to Earth and he's not sure where and how Pony still fits into the equation. _Then again_ , he considers, _Ferguson isn't much better._

In any case, Pony appears to be taking things more seriously. Her blasé attitude has been put aside and it looks as though she's actually going to offer decent advice, whatever Star's problem is.

"I mean, I guess it isn't like a hand bag. He practically is, though. But like. Star, he's Earthturd. You guys are so close, you are practically going out anyway. I do not see what the big emergency is. He's not my type...or maybe like, any one else's type ever, but if you're into him, just say something!"

Marco freezes. Now he knows for _sure_ that he shouldn't be hearing this. He should make his exit here and now, find the real Star and never talk about this ever. Instead, he stays rooted to the spot, unable to move out of ear shot. Oh god, he is so horrible.

Unable to stop himself, Marco leans forward to sneak a peak. Star's slumped across her pillows, looking more defeated than he's ever seen her.

"You think it's that easy, Pony? I _can't_ say anything! And we are not practically dating! We just do a lot of stuff together, okay? And even if I _could_ bring myself to tell him, it wouldn't matter." Star's face falls forward into the pillow again, so her next words are muffled. "He's got Jackie. He's like. Completely in love with her. Marco always talks about her! He always does this nod thing and I mean, I don't understand all Earth things, but I _think_ that's a pretty serious custom? What kind of friend would I be if I stepped between that? He's said that he's been into her _forever_. How can I stand a chance against something like that?"

Marco's heart has fallen into his stomach. Or maybe it's in his throat, because he has a giant lump there now. How stupid can he _be?!_ The whole Jackie thing was just an attempt to get rid of the pressure that had grown between them! There's no real excuse for it, aside from ridiculously dumb and misguided intentions. Witnessing Star's anguish, he realizes (for the millionth time) just how stupid and badly he handled this entire situation. It wasn't fair to Jackie, either! All he can do is be thankful that it hadn't ruined the girl's friendship. What a complete ass.

And now he knows why Star didn't say anything. _He_ kept silent because he was too cowardly to take a step forward, to risk their friendship for something amazing. Star kept her own words back out of concern for him. She didn't want to ruin anything between him and Jackie. Marco wishes he had his own pillow to scream into. Instead, he pushes away from the couch and leaves the room, head hanging low. He needs this whole experience to be over. He's tired of seeing only memories and depictions of Star's disappointment. He wants to see the real Star, his best friend. He wants to hold her hand and apologize, to talk to her and work things out. And then he wants to just sit and do nothing but chat about ridiculous, nonsensical things. Things that'll get her to laugh, to give him that smile. He never wants to disappoint her again. Not like this.

He's running away from that distraught Star, but apparently escape isn't an option. It doesn't matter how far he retreats, because soon enough he stumbles across another. This memory really throws him off, though. Marco's clearly still in Butterfly Castle, but the room he steps into is _definitely_ Star's from home. It isn't the real one, but just being in here fills Marco with a sharp and painful nostalgia. He wants to collapse on his friend's bed, find comfort in the old, familiar ways. Instead, he focuses on Star number...what seems like a million. She's in front of her phone mirror and he doesn't need to look to know that Ponyhead's on the other line. Her grating voice is a dead giveaway.

"I could, ya know. Beat him up for you. Do you want that? Because I will _totally_ do it, Star. That earthurd won't even see it coming!" Auuughh, what has he done _now?!_ Without thinking, Marco approaches Star's bed and falls across it, ignoring the urge to smother himself with a pillow.

"Thanks for the offer, Pony. But I don't want you to hurt Marco. I just...I want him to tell me what I did wrong! I have no idea what could have happened! One moment we're closer than ever, and then the next he's put like. The Atlantic ocean between us!"

Pony clearly doesn't know what that is, but it doesn't matter. Star goes on. "He won't let himself come near me at all! We used to be so close and things were so easy between us. And now...just talking is a struggle! I must have done _something_ , but I don't know what! I don't know how to fix it!" Star's voice cracks at the end, and Marco can hear a sob beneath the words. His heart takes another beating, and the stupid dumb Safe Kid hates himself more than anything. How could he have done this? How can something with such good intentions go so horribly wrong? He needs to get out of here.

Marco stumbles out the door and into yet another corridor. He trips over various rubble and even falls a couple of times, but he doesn't care. He isn't seeing properly, isn't looking where to go because all he can see is _her_ and all the disappointment he's caused. No wonder she ran away from him.

He runs blindly, shoving aside tapestries and ignoring doors. He doesn't want to see anymore. If these memories are killing him, he can only imagine what they're doing to the real Star. This place is so much more dangerous than he originally thought. It could break them.

Marco crashes through a couple of doors and rushes out into a clear Mewni night. He's on a balcony and collapses against its rails, suddenly unable to prevent the retching that plagues his stomach. He hasn't eaten in a while, so all that comes up is stomach acid. It burns his throat and nose, but he can't stop until it's all expelled. In between heaves, he desperately attempts to draw in fresh air, but it feels like a losing battle. He's lost all control, and he doesn't even know if this is his real body! It sure _feels_ like it.

Finally, his stomach is empty and nothing else comes up. Marco slides to the ground, pushing himself against the railing. He's gasping and close to choking, but he feels a little bit of that control returning. He manages to clean his face, at least. That's a bonus. His panic is slowly leaking away. He has a mission. He can't afford to ruin it. He reprimands himself furiously and resolves to keep it together from now on.

That promise lasts an entirely thirty seconds. When he finally manages to open his eyes in order to take in his surroundings, he completely loses his shit once again. Because right there, just across from him is Star. He knows immediately that she's _his_ Star. There's a sharp twinge in his chest and he just _knows._ This Star seems more present than any other. His heart recognizes hers. Marco scrambles to his knees and lunges across the stone floor, throwing himself in front of her. Screw the whole "no touching" protocol, he's just so happy and relieved to see her. He grabs his friend in a tight embrace and it's suddenly difficult to see. He's blinking back tears and shaking from relief; he never wants to let her go, but they need to leave. Glossaryk's warning keeps flashing in the back of his mind. He wants to make grand gestures and say the Big Words, but there's no time! All he has is urgency. They can talk later, when he knows he can _actually_ see her, feel her.

"Star, we gotta get going. It isn't safe, we have to go back!" Which is all fine and dandy to say, but he doesn't even know how they're supposed to return! Glossaryk didn't mention that part! Marco's about to curse that blue idiot out once again when he realizes that Star hasn't said anything. He wasn't exactly expecting the reunion of a lifetime, but Star isn't reacting at _all_. Panic rises in his throat as he pulls back in order to get a better look.

She's curled in on herself, her face buried in her hands. Now he knows why she didn't notice all the noise he made while being sick: this may be his Star, but she's nothing like the one out in the real world. This Star is broken and bent, wracked with silent sobs. She's rocking back and forth slightly, her eyes squeezed shut. In the last several hours, Marco has seen Star confused, downtrodden, furious and disappointed. Each of those scenarios were little jabs to his gut, images he never wanted to see again...but this is something on an entirely different level. This hurt comes from deep within and Marco is at a complete loss. How can he help?!

He gently tugs her hands from her face, holding them carefully in his own. If he can just get her to look at him, acknowledge him, maybe there's something he can say. Anything to get her on her feet so they can get the _fuck_ out of here!

"Star...? Hey, Star. Open your eyes. It's me, Marco. Your Mess-up Twin. I'm gonna get you out of here, okay? But...but you gotta help me."

As he talks, Star slowly seems to wake up little by little. Eventually he's able to make eye contact, but things are still off. Like she isn't really seeing him.

"Marco...? How...did you get here?" Marco reaches out and gently wipes her tears away. It's almost impossible to resist hugging her again. He just wants that haunted look gone from her eyes.

"It's a long story, Star. And it involves Glossaryk so it's complicated and ridiculous...but I can tell you about it later. We just _really_ need to get out of here!"

His urgency falls on deaf ears. Star's focus has faded and there's a blank look to her eyes. Marco tries to keep his hysteria in check. Then she's speaking, but it isn't Star and it's as though someone else has taken over her body. There's no life there.

"I can't leave. I have to stay here, I have to fix this. It's all ruined, Marco. I failed."

He doesn't understand what she's talking about. Is she referring to the jackass who cursed her, or something else? How is he supposed to get information from her when she's like this? All he can do is take a deep, calming breath. Now it's clear that rushing Star isn't a good idea.

"What are you talking about, Star? What's ruined?" For a few seconds, Star says nothing. Instead she climbs to her feet and leads him to the balcony's edge. He lets her pull him along, well aware that even in this state, he'd follow her anywhere. That probably isn't good.

Star points out at the land below them and doesn't say anything, as though the view should speak for itself. Marco's even more confused. It just doesn't make sense. Everything looks fine to him. It's still summer, sure but other than that, it looks like the Mewni Kingdom he knows. He's hesitant to point this out though, because it looks like Star's about to lose it. So he just stares, struggling to come up with the right answer to her problem.

"Don't you see?! I ran it into the ground, I destroyed Mewni!" She implores him to look _closer_ and as Marco leans forward, he suddenly does. As he follows the direction Star points, the landscape changes. Instead of the lush green fields and tall trees Mewni normally boasts, everything is barren. The village below suddenly transforms into something from a horror movie. Shacks are on fire and he thinks he can hear the sound of brawling. Everything is falling apart and even the castle is looking more and more worse. Mewmans and monsters alike are suffering. Horror-struck, Marco turns to Star. She's lowered herself the the ground again and is pulling frantically at her hair. "I did this, I did this." She repeats this self reprimand over and over, the most depressing broken record player he's ever heard. But what's caused this? Are these images just a symptom of her insecurities and fears? Marco knows that this is what Star fears more than anything: failing her kingdom as Queen. And here in this nightmare world, everything is coming true. He really is going to punch the shit out of the guy who did this to her.

For now though, he needs to get through to Star. Too much time has passed and Marco just _knows_ they don't have much longer. He crouches in front of her, desperate. Slowly and carefully, Marco disentangles Star's hands from her hair. He grasps them in his own, squeezing tight. Talking to her isn't working, but he knows that if he can just get that connection to come to life between them once again, they'd be back in business. But he doesn't even know how it came to be in the first place! So now he's here, frantically trying to get any amount of recognition from his friend. He's horrified to realize that it's a lot like a few months ago, when they were holding words back from each other. The two of them are existing together in each other's orbit, but everything that matters is missing. There's a wall between them and he just doesn't know how to climb it.

He's crying and calling desperately for his friend, but she can't hear him. She's lost in the dark.


	10. Chapter 10

**Stay Close, Don't Go**

 **(Your Hand In Mine)**

 **A/N:** _Hey everyone! I'm so sorry this update took so long to come along. In the last few months I've moved to a new city, started at a new job and gotten a puppy. It's surprising just how little time you have to yourself when a 3-month old dog is thrown into the mix._

 _That said, I hope this chapter is worth the wait. Just a warning, once again there's bad language._

* * *

Following the lights is a mistake. Star knows it the second she steps into their wake. But before she can pull herself away and move back to where she felt safe, the princess is drawn closer still. She really doesn't mean to keep stepping forward, it's just happening. And before long, Star Butterfly is swept along to her downfall.

It starts out innocently enough. In fact, Star's delighted. She still doesn't know where she's been sent. And there's a part of her deep down that says this place _may_ be bad, that she really shouldn't be here...but it's easy enough to shove aside in her excitement. Because when Star steps out of the woods and comes across her castle's barns, she thinks everything is going to be okay. The lights disperse almost immediately, but she doesn't care. Her attention is entirely focused on what she sees before her. It's as though her childhood has come along to greet her.

Star leaves the forest behind her, hastily launching herself over a fence. She's a little torn at first. She knows that the smart thing to do would be to find her parents in order to find out what's happened. But she also hasn't seen the Warnicorns in forever. Her endless lessons with Glossaryk and preparations for her party have stolen away all of her time. She hasn't been down to the stables in ages. How much can a little peek hurt, anyway? They're on the way to the castle, just popping in to visit isn't going to take a million years. She makes her way to the barns, c _ompletely_ missing the fact that there's no frost or sign of winter in sight. She doesn't even notice how hot it feels in her outfit, something she'd thrown together to fight the cold while on her walk.

She arrives at the barn and kicks open the doors triumphantly, a habit from her childhood that has gotten her in trouble numerous times. When she doesn't immediately hear shouted reprimands from the Stable Manager, Star finally gives pause. That's definitely weird. Quembleton's always on the watch for Star's "less than princess-like behaviour." It never mattered where he was in the barn or fields, he was always yelling at Star for the way she made her entrance. Star used to make a game out of it: timing how long it took for the ancient manager to appear before her in order to make his displeasure known. It was never more than a minute.

Star straightens, her eyes growing wide. Oh crap, did he die?! Did that old windbag finally give in to reality and turn to dust? Because seriously. He was old. Like. Super old. And while she _knows_ she should feel bad about his death, Star can only remember how he yelled at her for practically no reason. And that gross vein on his blue forehead that seemed to throb only when she was around. Besides. He was over 200 years old and clearly needed to Move On.

So it's with only a little regret that she moves on, focusing her attention on the task at hand: a quick visit to her favourite Warnicorn before she heads to her parent's chambers.

However it isn't to be. Once again, Star is presented with an obstacle. But this time it isn't something she can so easily shrug off. In fact, it's _her._ Star's eyes grow even wider than before, and her mouth gapes in a soundless gasp. Right in front of her, clinging to the gate of a stall is a young Princess Star Butterfly. What in MEWNI is goin' on?! Without thinking, Star shrinks back and leaps into an unoccupied stall. She kneels in a pile of hay, shaking her head frantically. This isn't right! What's happened? Star _knows_ she hasn't cast any sort of Time spell. Not on purpose, anyway. Father Time's warnings had been enough to stop her. As tempting as it became in some circumstances (a certain birthday party with a disastrous ending comes to mind), Star hasn't touched those pages of her Book. So whatever's going on is definitely because of that cloaked freak Ludo was with. As soon as she thinks of Ludo and his partner in crime, everything comes roaring back. Talking with Will. Ludo and that guy's sudden arrival. And an intense, searing pain. Then waking up alone and without the wand...and worst of all: the discovery of the severed link. Star falls against the stall's door, grasping frantically at her necklace. Marco's gone. She can't find him and that means something has gone horribly, awfully WRONG.

It takes a few minutes, but Star is finally roused by the sound of her younger self screaming plaintively. Shaking, the princess peeks over the stall gate. Young Star is grasping desperately for a warnicorn. It looks as though she's about to get her wish when a younger warnicorn whuffles softly and moves forward, but at the last second she's snatched away. Star covers her ears tightly, but it doesn't do much against the onslaught that rips the air. Little Star is not happy. She's desperate and then defeated. The real Star winces as she watches a caretaker pluck her from the gate.

It's so weird to see another version of herself. No, not another version: her. Because Star remembers this clearly. She remembers sneaking out of the castle and into the barn. She wanted to see the warnicorns so badly. They represented something grand to her: something free. She wanted it. Even as a little kid, Star realized her life was different from others. Everything was set in stone for her. But that didn't mean she couldn't try to grasp for something more.

And yet, every time she was thwarted. Whether it was by one of the guards, a caretaker or even the Queen herself. Star Butterfly learned what disappointment was at a very young age.

She watches resentfully as her younger self is toted away, her frustrated cries fading away. Once the coast is clear, Star doesn't linger any longer than she has to. The Warnicorns are long forgotten. She's back on track. What she needs now is help, and the only place to find that is the castle.

But as the princess slowly makes her way further and further into what she _thought_ was her home, it quickly becomes clear that this isn't the place for help. This isn't her home, not the real one. This place lives somewhere in her memories and the longer Star wanders, the more she realizes that this isn't a coincidence. She can't remember exactly what happened back in the real world, but now Star knows she was sent here. Banished. Which means that something bad's probably happened to her body and the kingdom. All while she's stuck here, revisiting memory after memory. And even _those_ have some sort of awful twist! The princess stumbles across several here and there, all perfect re-enactments of the goings on in Young Star Butterfly's childhood. But with a sour twist. It didn't matter what the memory was about, every circumstance left Start with a larger pit in her stomach, added weight for every step across the floor. Even if she knew a particular recollection was a good one, she's unable to summon any good feelings about the occurrence at all. A younger version of Will is a frequent flyer in the Butterfly Castle corridors. Star remembers this clearly: it didn't matter what sort of training he had going on or which mission his father assigned him. Without fail, if Star needed help cheering up, her friend was there.

But after witnessing kindness after kindness, Star can only think of all the effort Will has to make. He'd pull off a particularly charming sword fight in one of the west corridors one day and then the next he'd be out on the balcony, talking her through another disaster. And it makes Star wonder. Is this what it takes to be her friend? Does every one she love have to work so hard to keep her happy? What do they get out of it? The answer comes to her immediately: get nothing but trouble and frustration. Her mind won't let her come up with any other explanation.

She experiences such revelations over and over again, in different formats as she passes through room after room. At some point it occurs to Star that she's the only one here. Just her and these twisted memories, forcing themselves into her head and poisoning every good feeling they once produced. She cannot shake them off. They've latched on and Star is completely in their grasp. As she walks, the castle begins to change around her, decaying before her eyes. She wants to scream, to turn around and run back into the woods, but she can't make a sound. And all she can do is move forward, like she's one some sort of demented conveyor belt.

She takes a look out the window and witnesses the corn fields dying, the crops shriveling into nothing and the chaos that creates. She watches as fires burn down villages and the suffering of her people. She can do nothing but watch, transfixed and horrified. The kingdom crumbles around her while Star Butterfly collapses on the inside.

She tries to take refuge in the one place she thinks she can find comfort. But even the balcony is ruined. She can't look at the disaster and suffering around her. She can hear the cries of her people. Smell the smoke from the flames she knows will reach the castle soon. So she crouches in a corner, afraid to watch it all end. There's nothing she can do, and now only one thought is repeating in her head: it's your fault, all your fault, you you _you_. She gives in to the desolation this final revelation brings and the world around her turns grey as she hugs her knees and bows her head. Everything has fallen apart and soon it'll all be over. So she waits for the end.

Star doesn't know how long she sits there. It feels like forever. She expects the castle to crumble at any moment, but it never comes. The idea of it hangs in her mind, a constant worry that will hit at any second. So when she's suddenly shaking, Star holds herself closer and tries to shut everything out. She doesn't want to feel anything, but she does want this to be over. But it never ends. Instead of falling from her hiding place and into the fire below, her hands are gently pulled from her face. And suddenly Marco is in front of her. He's here. And she can't understand why. Is this just another memory? Something she's subconsciously pulled up because it's him she wants to see most? How selfish is that? It isn't right.

But her body responds to him automatically and soon she's talking to him, showing him the wreckage she's caused. She needs him to see what she's done so he can escape. And stay far away from her. Because she isn't good. Not for him, not for her kingdom, not for anyone.

Marco doesn't seem to understand, though. He still stays with her and he keeps talking, but the words don't get through to her. They sound fuzzy and she can't understand. She assumes he's just another memory sent to torture her and that's something she can't handle. So she folds in on herself more, hoping to tune everything out until it's all just frantic buzzing in her ear.

Star tries to ignore him, but even in this state she can't. He's here and he's taking her hands, holding them tightly and trying to pull her out of whatever hole she's in. But his words are like static and she can barely respond to his touch. She doesn't know why that is, but it makes Star think he isn't really here. Not the real Marco. Which is a good thing, because then that means he won't be hurt. But it's still a reminder and she's the one who aches. She wishes he would go away, because this feels like a new kind of torture. It's familiar in a way. It reminds her of the first weeks when he started to pull away from her. When he put distance between them. When words were difficult and could never breach the gap. It's a broken time and it fits nicely here amongst the wreckage. Perfect. She really is in hell.

Suddenly he's shaking her and that should alarming, but it's in a muted way that she finds she can ignore. So why bother? There's nothing she can say to him and anything Marco voices is just on a different frequency. She can hear him buzzing at her and nothing gets through.

Then something happens. He's still shaking her, and something in this world comes undone. A bright light flares into life in front of her and it's all Star can see. She's afraid it's the same light from before, but that worry only lasts a second. This is totally different. It cuts through her muddled thoughts, the twisted memories that have been repeating over and over in her head. Everything around her is slowly gaining colour again and then something even more amazing happens. _She can hear him._ Marco's talking frantically and he's still holding her and she's aware of how close he is, how desperate he sounds. She shakes her head, trying to clear her mind. But it feels as though there's still caution tape, separating her thoughts from logic.

"- didn't do this! It isn't your fault!" Star looks up, but she can't see him, the light is too bright. So she focuses on that, because it's really all she can see. But she can still hear him talking, and maybe it's his voice that leads Star out of the black. Because the more she hears him, the clearer her thoughts become.

"Star, please listen to me! This isn't real, it's not actually happening!" Marco's voice cracks and Star becomes vaguely aware that his words are choked with tears. "P-please c'mon Star, you have to hear me, you _have_ to come back!" Each word is a bread crumb that leads her back, and Star's suddenly following every one. She needs him to keep talking, to keep calling her because she knows she isn't entirely there yet. The void and the darkness want her back, and it would be so easy to just give in and not fight any more. Her doubts still have a hold on her, but he's her lighthouse. She can do this.

"Star, you're stronger than this magic, I know it! Please, we need to get back!" Marco's panic hooks into her and suddenly she's there. The fuzzy wall between them is gone and she can see him, she can see that it's Marco and not some memory. It's real. He's real.

"M-Marco?" She knows he's here, she just doesn't know _how_. But it doesn't matter because she's being crushed in his embrace and she can _feel_ her very best friend's relief. He's shaking and still crying, and he holds her like he never wants to let go. Everything around Star fades away, but it's not like before. It isn't a nightmare, it's something she's wanted for a long time. She hugs him back just as fiercely and neither of them move or say anything for a tiny moment that feels like forever. She doesn't want this to end. If they can stay just like this, nothing is wrong and everything is okay.

But Marco lets go and she feels him move away. His hands linger on her arms and she looks up. The light is gone and now she can see him clearly. Star's always been aware of the way Marco's looked at her. Whether it's in exasperation at the outcome of a caper, or just a simple grin from across the couch on movie night. She's also seen him look at her in wonder – usually a result of some successfully executed magic. She's catalogued every one of those looks, always trying to find _some_ meaning in them, some hope that he felt the same as her. She couldn't see any evidence, not in a single look or glance. But this one. It's so different. His eyes are red and bright, but there's wonder there. And she knows it's for her. Not because of her magic or anything she's done. It's just for her, one Star Butterfly.

So when he opens his mouth to speak, Star expects something huge. But instead he sounds shy and uncertain.

"You're still wearing the necklace."

The necklace? That's what he's focused on? She looks down and there it is, somehow brighter than everything around them. She watches as he leans closer, he breath catching when he takes it in his hands. Star wants to shake him, to tell him that of _course_ she's still wearing it! He'd given it to her on one of the best and worst days of her life. And no matter the outcome, it was still a link to him. But all she manages is a single, anticlimactic word.

"Y-yeah." She's cursing herself inwardly because she wants to say so much more. She wants to tell him that she loves him and that being away from him was the hardest thing she's ever had to do. That she'd spend a hundred days in the Cats With Human Faces dimension if it meant she could be with him. There are a million things she can say, but words are kind of failing her now because he's smiling in a way that's left her breathless.

Marco leans forward, his forehead resting on hers. She's suddenly aware of how _very_ close they are to each other and the world around her could fall apart again and she wouldn't notice. He lets go of the pendant, but he doesn't move away. His hands slowly move up her arms, and Star is certain she's going to implode. His eyes still have that wonder, but now there's a question there as well. It's easy to answer. She reaches to pull him closer still. It's awkward and clumsy and there are still tears in their eyes, but when their lips touch, nothing else matters. Not their fight or the months of silence and doubt. This right here is what counts. Their lips move in unison and Star can feel his hands in her hair and in between every kiss, she's smiling because finally every wall between them has fallen down. All she can hear and feel is him. His quickened breath, the feel of his pounding heart as she grabs his hoodie to pull him against her.

And then something flares to life and Star is flooded with so many feelings: disbelief, wonder and relief. And something more, something deep and certain, unshakable. She knows that the link is back, and it's like welcoming an old friend. She knows Marco can feel it too, because he pulls back to look at her and she can tell he's drowning with her. She kisses him again, and again.

She's perfectly willing to stay like this forever, but the spell is broken when a flood of panic flows through the link. Star looks up, confused. Marco looks horrified.

"How long have we been here?" She doesn't know! She's not entirely certain time passes at all when she's this close to him!

"Star, we need to go. We need to get out of here!" Marco pulls Star to her feet. He's looking around frantically but he maintains contact, something she delights in. She doesn't understand his panic or where it's coming from. Everything is fine! The castle had magically repaired itself while she wasn't looking and the villages were no longer burning to a crisp. The spell had been broken and everything was fine, right?

Apparently not.

"Stupid, _fucking_ Glossaryk! I don't know what we're supposed to do!"

His furious words pull Star from her thoughts, and she finally _looks_ around. It's difficult to focus on what's going around them when all she can think about is how they've kissed. And how much she'd like to pull him close and go for a second round. But Marco's panic forces her to focus. Sure they were reunited and all, but they're still trapped in a spell with no idea how to get out. She's alarmed to discover that the sun has already set, sinking well beyond the horizon. Mewni's moons have taken over the sky, and the castle is bathed in their purple glow. It looks perfect. The princess basks in it for a few moments and feels that calm sweep over her. She's suddenly oblivious to the sound of Marco panicking in the background. So...why are they in a rush to leave, again? She can't remember. It doesn't seem like a good idea, anyway. They're perfectly safe here! No one can come and attack them, or interrupt in any way. The view is great and Star feels that maybe they should push to make this moment last forever.

"Marco, it's okay. Everything's fixed!" She gestures to the land below them. There's enough light to show that the houses and shops have all been repaired. There are no fires, the sound of rioters has been silenced. The kingdom is at peace, and Star knows that things are _right._ She and Marco are a team again and they can handle anything. So what's the rush?

Star feels a confidence she's never experienced before, and she pulls Marco close. He falls against her, and her heart kicks into overdrive. For the past year, a part of her has been constantly aware of the distance between them. Before the two of them started acting like idiots, she felt his presence in an almost overwhelming way. He'd brush past her in order to grab something in the bathroom in the morning, and her heart would stutter. She'd struggle to keep her expression neutral, determined not to let him know just how much he affected her. When they sat on the couch for Friendship Thursdays, sometimes the blanket felt too small, the two of them huddled together as they let the drama unfold on the TV before them. It was never enough. She wanted more, but lacked the courage to talk about it. Then the two of them made things worse and suddenly she had nothing. There were never any close calls as they got ready for school and their movie nights were spent on the opposite ends of the couch. Suddenly there were two blankets and Star felt very, very alone.

So now that it's okay to touch him, now that they've confessed, Star doesn't want to let those feelings disappear. She doesn't want to focus on the bad things because everything feels pretty good right now. Everything's okay.

She feels how tense Marco is, and he's muttering about the castle and how things _aren't_ right and she just needs him to calm down. Star reaches up to rest her hands on his shoulder, giving him a quick hug.

"Come on Marco, just stop for a second. Look around us! Everything is okay. We found each other. You saved me! You brought me back and...I just wanted you to know that I couldn't have done that without you. I don't know _what_ you did or how it worked, but I was lost and you were able to help me find my way back." She has his attention now and when Star looks up his eyes lock on to hers. She offers him a wobbly smile, biting her lip. "Thank you. You came back to save me, even when everything was awful, even when I was terrible to you."

Marco wraps his arms around her, and she surrenders to the comfort and safety they offer. She feels him kiss the top of her head, and maybe she's gonna die anyway because Star thinks her heart might explode.

"Star. Nothing in the universe would stop me from finding you. You're my best friend." His words are strong with conviction and their link overflows with that confidence and love, confirming what Star's been feelings for the last half hour: the two of them can take anything on. As long as they have each other, she knows they'll find a way to be okay.

Marco lifts her chin and then they're kissing again and maybe this moment really can last forever. Screw whatever Father Time droned on about. Star's spent countless hours suffering through memories designed to make her miserable. They've been warped and twisted into something horrible, something she knows she'll never be able to forget. But this right here is pure. As Marco gently pushes her against the balustrade and kisses her softly, she knows that nothing could ever ruin this. She'll keep this feeling close to her heart, holding on to it forever.

Marco runs his hand through her hair and it sends shivers up her spine. He's always been a little taller than her, but Star hadn't realized just how much he's grown. She needs to pull him down in order to kiss him properly. But that's okay, all that matters is their closeness, the way their breath mingles as her lips move with his. She runs her hands across his chest, enjoying the way his breath hitches whenever she moves to pull him closer. The awkwardness is gone and there's no hesitation between the two of them. It's taken a year of angst and frustration, but finally the two of them are on the same page. They know they want the same things and it's so easy to give and take. Star doesn't even need their link to know what's on Marco's mind, because it's exactly what's on her own. So when he moves his hands to her side and lifts her, she isn't surprised. She lets him set her on the balcony's edge and just pulls him closer still.

And maybe this would have gone on and on in this little piece of heaven they've made together, but soon Star can sense a string of fear along the link, sneaking through with all the joy and heat. It's enough to cause a little clarity, and Star's able to pull back. There was a reason Marco thought it was important to get out. But she distracted him, selfishly reaching for more. He didn't want this, not now. So Star reluctantly pulls back, grasping Marco by the shoulder and giving the both of them room. Marco blinks, bemused. She likes that she can befuddle him like that, but knows it would be better in the real world. She jumps down from the balcony's ledge and moves the two of them closer to the door. She keeps a hold on his hand, unwilling to break all contact with him.

"We have to go, don't we?" Her words are tremulous and Star knows he's aware of just how afraid she is. But he nods anyway, and grips her hand tighter.

"Don't worry, I'll be right there. You can keep your eyes closed, Star. I'll get us out."

She's seen so many awful things and Star knows this place is only going to get worse as they try to escape. It wants to keep them there. She recalls the way that black stuff pulled her in. It didn't just have her physically, her mind had been completely snagged as well. She had never been so terrified in her entire life.

But determination seems to have taken over Marco and suddenly he's leading her away from the balcony and into the castle. Star shrinks against him, but he stays strong, his resolve flowing through the link. She wants to take it, use it as her own armour in order to get through this. But it doesn't stick and the fear leaks through. It's all over her, threatening to overcome any courage she's gathered.

"Star. Look at me." Her eyes automatically turn to his and she can see the confidence in them. He smiles at her and the fear fades a little. "You're okay. We're okay. We can do this. It's just another adventure. It's not the Cats With Human Faces Dimension. This place isn't even real. Just...hold on to me and we'll make it through."

So she lets Marco lead the way and through the heavy doors, doing her best to fight off the panic that threatens to swallow her whole.

* * *

The two of them crash through the castle's doors and into the shining light of Mewni's moons. Marco manages to stay on his feet, but it's Star who falls to her knees. It's her turn now and Star hunches as she heaves, vomiting the entire contents of her stomach. She immediately feels Marco's hand on her back, comforting her as best he can. She appreciates the effort and she _wants_ to be okay for him, wants to be able to offer a typical Star smile. But the darkness feels as though it's crept into her and filled her with so much doubt. It feels impossible to do anything other than stay right here, crouched in the grass. She doesn't think she can move. She's spent and overcome.

But Marco is firm. She can tell it hurts him to push her along, but they're in a hurry. He's not entirely sure what they're supposed to do, but his best guess is to go back to the start. She can tell it's all he's got. He pulls Star to her feet, holding her tightly. Through the link, Star can tell just how sorry he is. But she has to follow. So the two of them set off past the stables and enter the forest.

It's almost pitch black amongst the trees. Star holds tight to Marco's hand and stumbles along as best she can. She's still fighting that overwhelming feeling of darkness and it doesn't help that barely any light is making it through the leaves. Their passage is slow going and full of Marco's cursing. She's not sure just how long it takes (it feels like infinity in her mind) but the two of them finally break through the trees and into the clearing. Star immediately looks up, expecting to see the light again. They did fall in, right? There's nothing there. Just a clear sky, stars twinkling in what feels like a mocking way. She leans closer to Marco, needing his strength. He responds by holding her closer, and once again his determination and confidence are clear through the link. This is not the time to falter. It bolsters her a little, just enough to look around. And there it suddenly is. A bright light, similar to the one they both fell from. But it also looks like the one that led Star to her nightmares. She balks.

"It's okay, Star. This isn't bad, this is good. It has to be."

She can't quite make herself believe him. Everything in her body tells her that this isn't right. They shouldn't go there. It'll just lead to more and more torture. They're _trapped!_ Her heart is pounding and suddenly it feels a little too hard to breathe.

"Marco, no. Please don't make me. I can't do this, it's impossible. It's wrong and _I CAN'T DO THIS._ She's reached her limit. The fear and doubt are overflowing and she has no more control. She lets her hand slip from his and falls to the ground once more. It's just too much. But Marco's right there, kneeling in the grass in front of her. He takes her hands, gently moving her to face him.

"Star." He prompts. His voice is soft, and it's the conviction in it that makes her turn to face him. Tears are falling from her eyes and she knows there's no way to stem the flow. But Marco has her attention, and she feels the darkness recede, just a little. Things feel a lot more clear when she focuses on him.

"I know you're scared and you're tired. You've been through a lot and it really sucks. I know, but I need you to follow me. I know this is the right way. It isn't going to hurt. It's the way out. I know it. Just..." She feels him hesitate and is confused when a little shame comes through their connection. But he manages to rally himself, continuing after a small pause. "You need to trust me."

He's staring right at her, and Star is anchored to his gaze. She searches for any signs of doubt, anything that might make this whole thing a lie. But there's nothing there. His eyes are clear and earnest. Star can't help it, but she automatically thinks back to their fight. The idea of trust was thrown back and forth, and Star was certain she'd lost it. And now here they were. Marco stands and holds his hand out to her. Star can only watch for a few moments, struggling to think above the darkness. Everything tells her that this isn't right. But it's Marco. And she can't doubt him, not anymore. So she slowly climbs to her feet and stands before him. She's terrified and those tears are still falling but she reaches out anyway. Star holds tight to Marco's hand and the two of them step into the light.


End file.
